[VP] [Vice President] [It's Me] YOU'RE WELCOME AMERICA

Day 3,244, 07:17 Published in USA USA by Azazel Romanov


Greetings America,

You might hear some stuff from the WHPR later, or god forbid our continuing President, but first lets get to the important stuff that has happened resulting from the recent election.

I'm now your Official, Fully Accredited, 100% Legit, First, Last Vice President of the United States. Aside from all my past achievements as a world leader and President and things that required actual effort, this might be my crowning achievement. Orik decided to listen to the people, and probably against his own interests, to make me the Vice President this month and do what I do best. Dinnyin has been demoted to Chief of Staff. I assume his responsibility will be arranging my meeting schedule and picking out chic restaurant locales for me to eat. I like Indian food, so you should write that down.

Vice President. Let that sink in. Breathe it, live it, love it. We have done it, we’re here. America hasn’t seen someone who is More VP since the days of Greeling. You want more Greeling? Too bad, you’re getting more Naz. Nazanada. Nazlaska. We’re shooting for the moon and we’re aiming poorly. I’d say I couldn’t have done it without you but I clearly did and you’re welcome. Even my active campaigning against myself wasn’t enough to stop me from reaching the pinnacle. I’d like to think many of you actually didn’t like Orikfricai but you just really liked me. Where do we go from here America?

Well honestly I’m going to just let this sink in for a moment and in the true fashion of my recent predecessors, I’m just going to enjoy myself and go on vacation. DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING DID YOU? After this brief two-to-three-to-end-of-term well deserved and earned rest, I will be setting about working on the projects that you as citizens and lovely individuals of this country want to see from me. Provided I agree with you. Well, provided you agree with me. I’m actually just going to do what I want.

As for my first act as your Official, Fully Accredited, 100% Legit, First, Last Vice President of the United States, I’ll be making Paul Proteus the Official. Assistant. Vice. President. He’ll be in charge of listening to me. My department will also be undergoing rapid expansion, attraction, and flirtation until we embody the whole of government and Orikfricai will simply be a man watching the Vice Presidential administration wheels turn. I’m already making my moves on state department, and that KGSexyBeast that is khotko. Rainy Sunday will come around and work for me as well, or I’ll just announce that she’s working for me and you’ll believe me and she’ll hate me.

ALSO TAXES ARE GOING UP. Someday. I have no control over this. For now. But Vice President means President of Congress. Not really according to our system, but it fits with what I want to believe. I'll make congress do things. Things you'll like. Things you'll hate. Mostly things you hate. (But the secret is they'll be doing things you hate anyway and I'll take credit for it).

Honestly I’m getting kind of bored and running out of things to say. Stay tuned, let me know what you think. Congratulate me. I need it. Later in the week I will update you on my take over of foreign affairs.

Official, Fully Accredited, 100% Legit, First, Last Vice President of the United States
Azazel Romanov