Not Another Platform Article

Day 1,067, 15:50 • Published in USA USA • by Aersidius


Hey everyone,

I'm running for congress in Wisconsin this month. I could use your votes to get elected. I like cheese. And Bacon. You know they put bacon on maple long johns now? Good stuff...



And on hot dogs...



What did the hot dog say when he won a contest? I'm the wiener!

Martha Stewart has one heck of a wiener...



I have served in congress before as seen in the following pic...



Oops, that picture was supposed to be destroyed. Here's the real one(if it's not from congress, it must be from court)...



Regarding the accusations from this intern about me, they are all false...



Regarding the accusations from these next interns, I gotta plead the fifth on pretty much all of their accusations. Actually the intern petting zoo wasn't my idea, though I was a supporter of it.



I don't know who this is, she popped up when I searched for intern pictures. If elected to congress, and being assigned this intern, I promise she'll have some accusations against me as well...



I believe in assisting the mentally ignorant. Just the other day I helped a citizen with this problem by giving him a ride to Montenegro to head up the MNU, or Multinegro National Upset, party...



Get that one?



One more pic to attempt to garner some UIP support for my campaign...



Off to do some other work now...



I would appreciate your votes in Wisconsin during the congressional elections on Oct. 25th. Oct 24th is my one year birthday as a citizen of the New World. During my time here I've been a member of congress five times; been in two military branches and two militias; been in...a bunch of parties as a grunt to the party president; been ambassador to a few places; and done some other stuff.

I'll provide tickets to get you to and from Wisconsin and food to make up for health lost during moving, if you'd vote for me.



If you want to see my more serious platforms from prior campaigns, flip back through my prior articles.

Vote smart. Check with #ato(on the Rizon server) on election day before voting to see if there are any PTO candidates that need dealt with.

If you aren't a member of the following, then join them. People who endorse me:





Necromongers for Public Displays of Affection:


Horny Goats:


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