LAP Dancers’ Gazette Vol. 5: The Last of 2013
Day 2,230, 17:02
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Published in USA 
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by
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by TellUrGrlThx
Lap Dancers’ Gazette Vol. 5: The Last of 2013
Dateline: Saturday, December 28, 2013 (Day 2230)
Location: Liberty Advancement Party Headquarters
Music: Auld Lang Syne - Happy New Year
Today’s LAP Dance:
: 1: Congressional Results
: 2: Interview with Wild Owl
: 3: LAP Forums!
: 4: Tell us how we did
: 5: Media College
: 6: Today’s Meme
Contributing to Today’s Edition:
George Armstrong Custer, Uncle Shylock, Lothair Carlovingian, DylanBAS, and Party President TellUrGrlThx
Congressional Results
Lothair Carlovingian
Greetings to all cherished comrades, fellow eAmerican patriots, and other readers. With the Liberty Advancement Party’s education department and the entire LAP leadership, I hope you had a very merry Christmas.
In the case of the party’s Christmas, Santa was kind. We won eight seats on the twenty-fifth, matching the number achieved in the LAP’s first-ever congressional election two months ago. This number exceeds last month’s six seats by over thirty percent, and while that is certainly a cause for celebration, one must remember that the eAmerican Congress has nine more seats now than it did a month ago. Considering the difference in size, one realizes that we have hardly two percent more influence than we did on congress last month (as opposed to the above-mentioned thirty percent increase in seats) and five percent less influence than we had when the party was only a couple of weeks old. I would suggest, then, that instead of patting ourselves on the back for holding on, or reveling in a victory over two extra seats, we ought to consider the steps which might be taken to restore and improve the Liberty Advancement Party’s original glory. Thankfully, party leadership is already on the case, working to improve voter turnout within the party and using every available opportunity to recruit more eAmerican heroes to the cause of liberty advancement, but they can only do so much. You all have to vote!
An Interview with Wild Owl
Uncle Shylock
Wanting to learn what one of the most influential CP candidates had in mind for our nation’s future, I kidnapped Wild Owl and brutally tortured and interrogated him until he answered the following questions. Here are the answers!
Uncle Shylock: “Why are you running for President?”
Wild Owl:
I'd like to be President because I believe that I have the necessary skill set that is required to excel in the job. As someone who's worked in pretty much every government department in the past few months, I am an all rounded candidate who seeks to become President of the United States. I think that we can be better than we currently are, and intend to build upon the past few stable months for this great country.
Uncle Shylock: What are your goals and objectives if elected?
Wild Owl:
I'd like for us to increase our bonuses without engaging in any war, via peaceful means. In particular, it will be in eUSA's best interests to increase our weapons bonuses which will lead to increased domestic production of weapons/WRM. Thats something that I'd really like to do. Of course, we as a nation will be looking to seek new friends and allies, particularly a couple of our ex EDEN allies.
Uncle Shylock: What will your cabinet look like?
Wild Owl:
I think you'll have to wait for the official announcement on this one. I've gone out and picked people based on their ability who I'm confident will do well in their respective departments but the time to announce the cabinet is still a few days away.
Uncle Shylock: Poal or poll?
Wild Owl:
Poll.
Uncle Shylock: Pie or cake?
Wild Owl:
Cake
Vote For the Liberty Advancement Party!! Ubi Libertas, Ibi Patria!
LAP Forums!
DylanBAS
This month’s forum activity has greatly improved and yet there is always more room: for you and for improvement. As a member of our party, you have valuable input that could be influential and potentially change the course of our party -- joining our forums and actively participating increases the chance that your concerns are addressed or that a practice that you like is continued.
But if that does not convince you to join our forums, perhaps the information that active members receive generous amount of wellness and a chance at winning 50 Q7 tanks will!
[url=http://eusaforums.com/forum/index.php/topic,29287.0.html
]So join the forums today![/url]
Tell us how we did
TellUrGrlThx
LAP Leadership is still looking for LAP members to continue to tell us how we have done so far. It doesn’t take long to do it and the form lets you fill out what you can fill out. Also it takes less than five minutes to do. So fill it out!
Media College
George Armstrong Custer
The first round of Media College classes finished up recently, with media giant Gnilraps providing the final exam. Throughout the run of the course students developed and published not only our Party newspaper, but also helped out on The Speaker's Word and contributed segments to the WHPR.
Media College graduates are now running or working in Party departments, every one of them now carrying the training and experience to not only write but manage personnel and effectively produce a quality product.
We expect to start another round of Media College courses about mid-January. Class size is limited to only five students, two of those slots reserved for non-LAP members. Dean of Media Custer explains, "We're taking that step we've been talking about, making the LAP useful to the Top Four Parties by taking their noobs and returning them home as top level writers."
If you're interested in taking the next Media College courses, just fill out this form and we'll get back to you. Be warned, though, Custer is a tough task master. You'll work hard, and then you'll work harder, and just when you think you're rockin' it the Old Man will raise the bar on ya.
This Week’s Meme
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Your Liberty Advancement Media Team:
Custer, TellUrGrlThx, Uncle Shylock, DylanBAS, Lothair, and Sharky Malarkey
Support this newspaper and the LAP Media Classes by Shouting this Shout!
The Lap Dancers' Gazette Vol 5
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/2357309/1/20
The Last of 2013
Dateline: Saturday, December 28, 2013 (Day 2230)
Location: Liberty Advancement Party Headquarters
Music: Auld Lang Syne - Happy New Year
Today’s LAP Dance:
: 1: Congressional Results
: 2: Interview with Wild Owl
: 3: LAP Forums!
: 4: Tell us how we did
: 5: Media College
: 6: Today’s Meme
Contributing to Today’s Edition:
George Armstrong Custer, Uncle Shylock, Lothair Carlovingian, DylanBAS, and Party President TellUrGrlThx
Congressional Results
Lothair Carlovingian
Greetings to all cherished comrades, fellow eAmerican patriots, and other readers. With the Liberty Advancement Party’s education department and the entire LAP leadership, I hope you had a very merry Christmas.
In the case of the party’s Christmas, Santa was kind. We won eight seats on the twenty-fifth, matching the number achieved in the LAP’s first-ever congressional election two months ago. This number exceeds last month’s six seats by over thirty percent, and while that is certainly a cause for celebration, one must remember that the eAmerican Congress has nine more seats now than it did a month ago. Considering the difference in size, one realizes that we have hardly two percent more influence than we did on congress last month (as opposed to the above-mentioned thirty percent increase in seats) and five percent less influence than we had when the party was only a couple of weeks old. I would suggest, then, that instead of patting ourselves on the back for holding on, or reveling in a victory over two extra seats, we ought to consider the steps which might be taken to restore and improve the Liberty Advancement Party’s original glory. Thankfully, party leadership is already on the case, working to improve voter turnout within the party and using every available opportunity to recruit more eAmerican heroes to the cause of liberty advancement, but they can only do so much. You all have to vote!
An Interview with Wild Owl
Uncle Shylock
Wanting to learn what one of the most influential CP candidates had in mind for our nation’s future, I kidnapped Wild Owl and brutally tortured and interrogated him until he answered the following questions. Here are the answers!
Uncle Shylock: “Why are you running for President?”
Wild Owl:
I'd like to be President because I believe that I have the necessary skill set that is required to excel in the job. As someone who's worked in pretty much every government department in the past few months, I am an all rounded candidate who seeks to become President of the United States. I think that we can be better than we currently are, and intend to build upon the past few stable months for this great country.
Uncle Shylock: What are your goals and objectives if elected?
Wild Owl:
I'd like for us to increase our bonuses without engaging in any war, via peaceful means. In particular, it will be in eUSA's best interests to increase our weapons bonuses which will lead to increased domestic production of weapons/WRM. Thats something that I'd really like to do. Of course, we as a nation will be looking to seek new friends and allies, particularly a couple of our ex EDEN allies.
Uncle Shylock: What will your cabinet look like?
Wild Owl:
I think you'll have to wait for the official announcement on this one. I've gone out and picked people based on their ability who I'm confident will do well in their respective departments but the time to announce the cabinet is still a few days away.
😁
Uncle Shylock: Poal or poll?
Wild Owl:
Poll.
Uncle Shylock: Pie or cake?
Wild Owl:
Cake
Vote For the Liberty Advancement Party!! Ubi Libertas, Ibi Patria!
LAP Forums!
DylanBAS
This month’s forum activity has greatly improved and yet there is always more room: for you and for improvement. As a member of our party, you have valuable input that could be influential and potentially change the course of our party -- joining our forums and actively participating increases the chance that your concerns are addressed or that a practice that you like is continued.
But if that does not convince you to join our forums, perhaps the information that active members receive generous amount of wellness and a chance at winning 50 Q7 tanks will!
[url=http://eusaforums.com/forum/index.php/topic,29287.0.html
]So join the forums today![/url]
Tell us how we did
TellUrGrlThx
LAP Leadership is still looking for LAP members to continue to tell us how we have done so far. It doesn’t take long to do it and the form lets you fill out what you can fill out. Also it takes less than five minutes to do. So fill it out!
Media College
George Armstrong Custer
The first round of Media College classes finished up recently, with media giant Gnilraps providing the final exam. Throughout the run of the course students developed and published not only our Party newspaper, but also helped out on The Speaker's Word and contributed segments to the WHPR.
Media College graduates are now running or working in Party departments, every one of them now carrying the training and experience to not only write but manage personnel and effectively produce a quality product.
We expect to start another round of Media College courses about mid-January. Class size is limited to only five students, two of those slots reserved for non-LAP members. Dean of Media Custer explains, "We're taking that step we've been talking about, making the LAP useful to the Top Four Parties by taking their noobs and returning them home as top level writers."
If you're interested in taking the next Media College courses, just fill out this form and we'll get back to you. Be warned, though, Custer is a tough task master. You'll work hard, and then you'll work harder, and just when you think you're rockin' it the Old Man will raise the bar on ya.
This Week’s Meme
Dad jokes, you just have to love them
| | | | | Your Liberty Advancement Media Team:
Custer, TellUrGrlThx, Uncle Shylock, DylanBAS, Lothair, and Sharky Malarkey
Support this newspaper and the LAP Media Classes by Shouting this Shout!
The Lap Dancers' Gazette Vol 5
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/2357309/1/20
The Last of 2013
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Comments
The Lap Dancers' Gazette Vol 5
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/2357309/1/20
The Last of 2013
Good paper, guys! Excellent work.
Wild Owl eats CAKE?!
No vote. Everyone knows pie wins hands down. It has crust to hold in the oowie gooey goodness. Cake is just... well, it's cake!
FIST
PIE
As a member of this great party, VOTED!
Also, get it together Owl, the obvious answer was Pie for a politician. Pie is just entirely American.