Jimmy Cincinnati's Insidious Plot

Day 3,599, 21:31 Published in USA USA by Jimmy Cincinnati


After three consecutive months in Congress, I've withdrawn from politics. I've got no official titles, information is becoming scarce and interest in the game is weaning.
I've contemplated my existence and taken time to ponder on why I might be so anxious.
And well, everyone knows what ole Jimmy Cincinnati does at a time like this.





My House, My Dog and My Truck:

Traditionalism might be the dirtiest word in politics, but I say, "If it's not broke, don't fix it."
Thanks to our anarchist nature, a lot of rising stars have been finding their opportunities within reach. A lot of old players have found their niche and everyone seems to be contributing to the greater good.
Lately, there was talk of revisionism. There was talk of returning to the eUS forums and there was talk of adding preliminary elections.
These proposals were unanimously declined. The Socialist Freedom Party has been extremely liberal for most of it's existence and that trait seems to be prevalent in the current administration.
I view bureaucracy as the tool for influencing our policies and I couldn't be happier about the level of ethics that are being practiced by my colleagues.
I don't really have time for a lot of meta-game.


Now, I'd like to take some time to tell you about our savior, Harambe.
As many of you already know; Harambe gave his life so that we may have dank Memes.
Before he paid the ultimate price, he was a beacon of wisdom and many have seen the light, through his gospel.
Harambe doesn't need your money, he doesn't want your labor and he'd never ask you to make war in his name. He's ordained a pope, for that.
Instead, he asks that you unsheathe your junk and point it toward the Holy City of Cincinnati.
If you don't have any junk, you can show us your boobs.
Upon the performance of this sacrament, Harambe will receive your blessing.


Thirdly, I'm going to try and get elected as PotUS. I don't see anyone else working on it, I've got no other titles and I have too much time on my hands. Vote for me and we might get to see the action that many of us have been craving.
I'll have an article with my economic and diplomatic policies, in a couple of days. As well as, a plan for disseminating it.
In the meantime, I'll seek some advisors who are more intelligent than I. I'm just a minor celebrity and don't have the qualifications for this job.
Murica!