I blame Brian Boru

Day 1,832, 16:15 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by Dr. Pierre Chang

Have you noticed something ladies and gents? We're all tearing the shite out of each other today because of some pointless bother about the lack of organisation and collective management of resources amongst our beloved band of idiots that are the MUs. Don't get me wrong there is some honest discourse going on in all this bullshit and I'm by no means delegitamising the worries and qualms of the Irish People.

I'd simply like to call attention to what I believe is the cause of all this hurlyburly. You may have noticed that noted communist menace Brian Boru has planted his big red anchor down on our beautiful Irish shores. Like a bad case of herpes he refuses to leave us, scarring our national exterior and engaging in vile crookery behind the scenes.

Last known photograph of Brian


Look at that face, the cute moustache and floppy hair, you'd almost call him harmless. But buried deep beneath those fine whiskers of his lies a menace not known in any other realm of the galaxy.

Brian Boru's soul (Artist's Impression)


Those horns could kill a dog! The man oughta be locked up in Mountjoy and the key transported to another dimension. He's an evil demon, sent here by Satan himself to scare us out of the good, honest christian values that make this nation the sanctuary of sense and intelligence into one of evil and decay!

Exclusive! Brian Boru's "personal images" found!


Look what this man gets off to! He should be ashamed of himself and should be publicly known for the rampant deviant that he is! I don't trust him, I don't want to trust him. Every microcosm and nook of his bodice makes me jerk in such vile disgust, my whole mind cringes at thought of him even existing. Knowing I breathe the same oxygen as he does make me physcialy ill.

So readers, what is my plan?
I am offering a handsome reward. Whoever successfully stops Brian will be given a personal gift courtesy of Dr. Pierre Chang. The hero of Ireland who rises to this challenge will be given 1 IEP per week for the rest of time. If you play eRep for 100,000 Years, that's a lot of money. Think about it, you'd be a fool not to.

Brian, be vigilant. The people of Ireland have spoken. Your pig disgusting lefty ilk are not wanted here. Leave our shores while you still have the chance.

The Hair in Your Soup,
Dr. Pierre Chang