A Letter To eUSA, From The eUK
Day 3,216, 15:49
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Published in USA 
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by
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by HebronGazelle
Dear USA,
It has come to our attention that you have set your sails towards the sunny, rainy and windy isles of Britain. Generally we would accept such obese people into our country as it makes the native population look thinner and more attractive (we really need them to look more attractive). However, under current circumstances it is not acceptable. Your declaration of war on the United Kingdom of Great Britain, Northern Ireland, The Commonwealth and Sealand is quite unacceptable.
It has been suggested that you are confused in attempting to take over these glorious islands. It is possible. We looked at our oil reserves to find only a note saying:
"Dear Badger Stackers, I’m afraid there is no oil. Kind regards – and good luck! Horice"
We know you 'Muricans are looking for oil so we put together a map so you can figure out which countries you are meant to be invading. We know illiteracy is high in your country so to preserve your honour we have avoided lots of words and instead used some colour.
We are also indeed a free country, you do not need to spread freedom across our lands. Please take a look at the map and consider your next move. We hope you are able to understand the map and therefore put away your guns. If you cannot understand we can always speak slower to you. We hope UK-USA relations continue despite this difficulty. Although this attack has put you "at the back of the queue" in terms of relations, we will still work with you. Thank you for your cooperation.
Thanks for reading,
CheetahCurtis
A Citizen Of The Free World
And thanks to Karacticus for the gold.
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Comments
Well done this is great CC.
I"ve myself will write the article to eUSA media and to eSweeds
Sweeden yes!
vote
I believe that - having thrown all their tea in Boston Harbour a few years ago - they've realised they need some more. Expect to see them raiding the PG Tips factory (and doughnut shops, obviously)
Pg tea is the worst I've ever had. No thx m8
Canada has Oil and Neodymium. Walk north obese American.
That is just way to far to walk.
hahahah walk north hahahahaha
good USA = wiped USA.
Kurrtonia Times 😃
No worries, we just mistook UK for Ukraine
\o/
We mistook Wales for Whales. It's all Oblige's fault.
Just the kind of high quality information we expect from our Ministry of Truth.
Whilst you're over here would you like to take back some of the Ajay multis he's left here? Ta
Hell no keep that shit
As a matter of fact, take some more.
UK = Big Brother Confirmed.
v
o/
You care more about the name of the country than the people.
I'm sure your investors won't be upset when bonuses increase.
voted hard ...LOL.. If I waswnt so fat I would try to get out of my chair and if my hand was not so greasy from my cheese burger I would shake your hand
Haha, this almost makes me feel bad we are at war.... Well done old chap, well done..
"Generally we would accept such obese people into our country as it makes the native population look thinner and more attractive (we really need them to look more attractive)"
We know, we've seen your teeth...
😛
Well done, UK. You've impressed.
Big LOLs! Well played!
That *was* a lot of words. More pictures plz.
Hahahahaha, classic British tongue and cheek.
You may be "free", but your economy is behind "schedule". The quicker you join us, the more fun we'll have. 🙂
Blasted Redcoats
They think they are democratic but they got an unelected prime minister .. Yes they need some taste of democracy !!
We elect the PM in the general elections. The party president of the party that forms a government is the incoming PM, so when people vote for parties they are aware who the future Prime Minister will be should their party of choice win the general election.