[WHPR] Money and War make the world go 'round

Day 3,347, 14:20 Published in USA USA by James S. Brady Press Room


Dateline: Thursday, January 18th, 2017 (Day 3,347)
Location: James S. Brady Press Room, the White House

Contents:
About War and Illness
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
The least of our worries



The Cabinet planning for war. Notable is Senry with the long stick (hehehehehehe)

About War and Illness

Good Morning America, or Afternoon, or Evening, depending when this goes online and what time you have. I’ve been battling a nasty cold since Sunday and also 2 exams this weeks, which meant a total of 3 hours of sleep for both exams. Amazing isn’t it? Anyway, due to that, I haven’t been able to really activate my creative mojo, or actually do a WHPR on Tuesday (aka yesterday, aka the day it’s supposed to go online) But if everything goes well, you’ll get two consecutive WHPRs and that has to mean something right, right?

But the Media Section hasn’t been empty, in fact we have seen a surge of articles speaking about the thing we most love to talk about (Looking at you admins) WAR!

The first article is by former CP and eternal Owl Wild Owl about the 3 different ways to declare war and a little bit of history of the eUSA’s past Airstrikes.
The Next one is from our current Secretary of Defense and general bae Senry which gives a much more in-depth look into how planning a war goes.
Last but not least, and for those of you who want that really specific information and those fancy numbers to crunch at, we have Blacksheep Counselor who has provided us with not just one, but TWO massively in-depth and overly detailed articles.

For those of you less interested in war, we have this beautifully crafted article by our very own DoCA. You’ll find a nice introduction by Jimmy Cincinnati, a short overview of all the current DoCA programs and an overview of Congress by SColbert

Her fabulous Highness



Also let us not forget that our magnificent President/Dictator/Queen of Indonesia/Queen of the United Kingdom/etc etc. has published an article where she praised the works of her cabinet, in particular two already mentioned individuals, Senry and Jimmy Cincinnati (who’s name I will never be able to write without having to re-check 5 times or just copy paste it)
Edit: She also praised Yui and kody but let’s be honest, nobody cares for them anyway




Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Last Thursday, I gave you two challenges to compete, so let’s do this before we get to our third and final part. The first challenge was finding a fitting caption for the meme below and we have a winner. Her fabulous majesty, the Queen of Indonesia, Queen of the United Kingdom, President ad Eternum of the eUSA and Dictator at longum of the eUSA, the woman who made AaronMDaniels even more her b***h than he already was: fingerguns 500 cc go to you!



The second challenge was the epic fight between Butt Cancer armed with Dynamite and a Portal Gun and The Pope, who can turn into anything he touches, while being inside a giant robotic hippo.

Our winner here was Jasper Signa, with the following answer, and he wins 3 gold!

“I also think it's pretty clear that Butt Cancer would win the battle. Obviously he would attack the pope from the rear and while the pope can turn into anything he touches because butt cancer is inside the pope's anus the only recourse he would have is to explode into an enormous pile of fecal matter and communion wafers as the dynamite explodes. Of course the butt cancer would have to use the portal gun to light the dynamite as there wouldn't be enough oxygen inside the popes butt to light the dynamite if not for the energy produced by the solid state laser contained within the portal gun. (Duh)”




The least of our worries


Aaron in a nutshell

And last but certainly least, because let’s face it, they are the least of the things on our list of stuff we give a damn about. The eUK’s resident mascot AaronMDaniels recently posted this article (which I won’t link because suck it eUK) where he brags about his big plan (which he can’t really handle because of his small hands). He will also be doing a livestream, where I will be defending our honor from those pesky annoying Brits, because I am a patriot and because it’s at a reasonable time for me (Let’s face it 3PM is pretty reasonable for EU standards).

Anyway, that’s it for today’s WHPR, which has been more than I was expecting to be. So enjoy!


Check out the eUS discord for conversation and battle strikes https://discord.gg/v2SvB5U


Today's Eagle of Battle