[FEDS] You NEED to vote for us. Let me explain.

Day 6,030, 07:02 • Published in USA USA • by Malpazar


"The Die is Cast"
- Julius Caesar

A little mood music?

Working Man - Rush

Wow, here we are, congressional election time. And look at that I didn't burn the party down or anything! I think that is progress. Hey folks, it is I, Malpazar, your Federalist Party President coming back to you in article form to discuss one of the more important moments in our collective eUSA calendar, Congressional Elections!

You may be a Fed reading this, the obligatory congressional message for this month, or maybe you are from another party, or maybe even a rare politically unaligned individual, well allow me to capture your attention for a few moments.



Typically, congressional elections look pretty much like this:


Sure you have some shifting around here and there, maybe the Federalists get a little extra turnout, maybe SFP gets a few votes over BSP, but relatively speaking folks vote on a partisan level. You vote for your party, and move on with your day.

But, hear me out, what if this time. You Didn't.
Okay this is a bit crazy I will admit, but what if you, say, voted Feds this time around. I mean, hey we know what the typical results look like, what if everyone came together and just voted for the Federalist Party? I mean personally, I think that would be pretty cool.



I see you dear reader, you a skeptical, dismissive, and maybe even annoyed that I would suggest you vote for my party, my long standing, responsible, and fun loving party, over your own! And I can see those cogs turning in that brain of yours, you are thinking, "Malpazar, clearly you an ambitious, handsome, and intelligent guy. What is in it for you to ask such a thing of me? What do you get out of this?"



Fair enough, I am going to be real with you guys. I need to look good here. Internal polling numbers are indicating that I am in fact "The guy" for many in the Federalists. But that hasn't quite carried over with the eNation as a whole. So my pollsters came to me and said a really strong turnout for congress would be the push I need for more to come. I don't want to say what yet, but...




Anyway, lets get to the candidates!



Candidates

I messages the candidates to check in with them, admittedly while most got back to me a lot of their secretaries did inform me they were out on congressional retreats. I asked, What is one word you would use to describe yourself? and What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Or what is your favorite frozen treat? For those who did not get to me in time, I will say a few words about them.


Bob Boudahili

Bob has been speaker for quite some time and has been doing a great job of it, I wasn't surprised to find when I went to his office he was out, whipping votes no doubt. No ice cream flavor was provided, but I can't help but feel cookie dough for Bob.


Yui MHCP001

Yui is an absolute legend of the eUSA, and I am excited to have them in the congressional line up. No ice cream flavor was provided, but I feel some sort of chocolate peanut butter vibe, or maybe a chocolate chip.


Jd Jack Serenade

In Jack's own words:

1. I'm passionate about my work and I know how to get the job done. I would describe myself as an open and honest person who doesn't believe in misleading other people and tries to be fair in everything I do.

2. of course my favorite ice cream : Vanilla


Iamthedanger
Former President, and extremely active participant of this little browser game. Iamthedanger is a no brainer congressional candidate. No ice cream flavor was provided but keeping with the theming of the account lets go with "Blue Moon" flavored ice cream, it is obscure but very good.


Fed Federali
1. A word to describe me? I'm ambitious.
2. Favorite flavor of ice cream? Vanilla, but moose tracks is my go to ice cream.


Miesha
1. eUSA Player (two words, sorry)
2. Ice cream sandwich


Wuky69
1. Reliable, consistent
2. All, ice cream is ice cream 🤪


Buckwheat McCoy
A dominant captain on the battlefield with over 52 congressional terms. Nothing says experience louder. I trust them. No ice cream was selected, but I am getting an Amaretto vibe.


DataScientist
A leaf. But one of the good ones. Since Canadian originally, picking Maple Pecan for their flavor.


Melissa Rose
1) Curious
2) Oreo Ice Cream sandwiches


Tyler Bubblar
1) Generous
2) Rocky Road
(Side note Tyler has been running NFLB Supply which is an awesome program and he really is a generous, wonderful person.)


StrideR 83
1. Emperor
2. Haagen-Dazs White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle, Belgian Chocolate, and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream!!! ALL THREE!


Derphoof
Derphoof didn't provide an ice cream flavor or word, so I am choosing. And going with one of those sonic ice cream bars you get off an ice cream truck that have the gumball eyes that are never accurate so it looks really goofy.


Roger the Shrubber
Roger has been an outstanding member of the federalists and honestly kinda bummed they are lower on the list. But trying to mix things up a in congress. Again didn't provide an ice cream, so going with Choco-Taco. Seems like a good solid, and tasty choice.


Paul Proteus
1. Existent, I think
2. Coffee
(Editors note: Coffee Ice Cream is the best)


Gunret
A consistent player in the running for Party President. Quiet, but seemingly effective. For Gunret, thinking strawberry ice cream.



I do want to provide a special note here, thanks to the Federalist Leadership for all their assistance and friendship so far. You are making this Party Presidential run fun, and smooth.
Malpazar