The indecency of Plato's removal and why admins are dragons

Day 976, 06:18 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Sir Humphrey Appleby
”All the gold which is under or upon the earth is not enough to give in exchange for virtue.”
-Plato

”We received some complains that there is a bug with Gold donations.”
-Carla

It was announced earlier that Plato had been removed in favour of a new advisor, aptly named ‘Carla’ by our Romanian overlords in their cosy little office with a cup of coffee in one hand and what I expect is ‘woman’s weekly’ in the other. Over all the inane bugs and problems associated with their new rising version of the game, they decided instead to boot out one of the wisest men in the world and bring in somebody that has probably been advertised somewhere as a plastic Barbie doll.


Carla, our new Advisor who is directly descended from a cheap 1970s girls doll and has massive feet to run away from angry players

When you consider the work of Plato and his profound impact on the world’s civilisation, philosophical thinking and indeed systems of government; and then compare it to some moronic and cheap attempt at badly recreating one of those annoying holiday reps that try and flog you an overpriced trip on a coach to some local ruins; it signifies a deep lack of principle and intellectual thinking on behalf of the admins endeavours into what has gone from a game to just milking money off the players.


Plato, pupil of Socrates and diehard supporter of ‘a priori’ philosophy

For me, this perfectly demonstrates the new principles that we will grow up to expect in V2 of the game. Gold now counts for a citizens progress rather than their commitment to the game. Wisdom and efficiency with what you do with your account now counts for nothing so long as you have a few bars of gold at the ready to plug up the difference. Thus, this begs the question: what else in the world likes collecting hordes of gold?

Thats right. A dragon.


Admin costumer service chief

The fact that admins are dragons proves a lot of things in relation to the series of disappointments in V2. They deliberately made Air Units nonsense so that then admins fly about; they can’t get chased about by players in their rubbish chopters. Additionally, they like Napoleon rather than the Duke of Wellington as the chief booster in military modules because he wore a silly French hat. And dragons like silly French hats.


Admin military module dragon.

Hence, I humbly suggest to the admins that they remove this Carla puppet of theirs and bring in a new advisor. Saint George.


Successful player complaints kill dragons


Final Joke

Two friends, Bill and Bob, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Bill throws up all over himself. “Oh, no… Now my wife will kill me!”

Bob says, “Don’t worry, pal. Just stick a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill.”

So they stay for another couple of hours and get totally plastered.

Eventually Bill stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time. “You reek of drink and you’ve puked all over yourself! You are disgusting!”

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Bill says, “Now wainaminit, I can eshplain everythin. It’snot wha you think. I only had a couple drinks. But this other guy puked all over me. He was reeling and he juss could’n hold his liquor. He said he was very sorry an’ gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!”

His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, “But this is forty bucks…”

“Oh, yeah… I almos’ forgot, he crapped in my pants, too.

Yours, as always,


Sir Humphrey Appleby SAS, QC, GCB, KBE, MVO, MA (Oxon) - UKRP Leadership
Prime Ministerial Press Secretary and Judicial Appellate.

P.S - Don't forget to vote and subscribe!