The Ballad of SFP Dependency
Day 4,874, 12:54
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Published in USA 
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by
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by What A Guy
[Enter What A Guy, stooped over but moving fast, his ragged tailcoat flapping. A patrol cap is cocked on his head and an unlit cigar is clamped between his teeth.]
WHAT A GUY
Comrades! We are beset on all sides! The unfeeling CODE alliance has violated the borders of our beloved eAmerica. And those domestic vipers, the capitalist parties, continue their chokehold on our electorate. And yet -- all is not lost when we work together!
[He takes out the cigar, considers it, throws it over his shoulder. He begins to pace in small circles, hands clasped behind his back.]
WHAT A GUY
We must not let war interrupt the democratic process. We are eAmericans. Our right to vote is sacrosanct. We do not put democracy on hold like our eEuropean brethren have done in times of crisis.
[What A Guy stops, center stage, as a spotlight hits him. Bittersweet organ music wafts in from the street.]
WHAT A GUY [sings]
Now there's a man, the living tool of Satan
He charges forth while others are debating
In times of crisis we should emulate Decembrists
But the electorate is beholden to the centrists
Voters have alternatives, embodied by the SFP
Liberate ourselves from our old dependency!
Ironically, the centrists have no moral center
Just factories where they're the proletariat's tormentor!
Abandon the boss's mindset and embrace the SFP's
Valiantly, we won't click "Manage Employees"!
Many of us saw many of us die in time of war
But battle is not the only oath we swore!
Vote for a new era of socialist prosperity
Vote to make centrist self-interest a rarity!
Together, we'll redeem the eUSA militarily
And likewise end the capitalists' barbarity
Arm in arm, we'll achieve our class ascendancy
Liberate ourselves from our old dependency!
[What A Guy descends to one knee, arms outstretched, as the music cuts out.]
[Curtain.]
"The righteous one has no sense of humor." -- Bertolt Brecht
WHAT A GUY
Comrades! We are beset on all sides! The unfeeling CODE alliance has violated the borders of our beloved eAmerica. And those domestic vipers, the capitalist parties, continue their chokehold on our electorate. And yet -- all is not lost when we work together!
[He takes out the cigar, considers it, throws it over his shoulder. He begins to pace in small circles, hands clasped behind his back.]
WHAT A GUY
We must not let war interrupt the democratic process. We are eAmericans. Our right to vote is sacrosanct. We do not put democracy on hold like our eEuropean brethren have done in times of crisis.
[What A Guy stops, center stage, as a spotlight hits him. Bittersweet organ music wafts in from the street.]
WHAT A GUY [sings]
Now there's a man, the living tool of Satan
He charges forth while others are debating
In times of crisis we should emulate Decembrists
But the electorate is beholden to the centrists
Voters have alternatives, embodied by the SFP
Liberate ourselves from our old dependency!
Ironically, the centrists have no moral center
Just factories where they're the proletariat's tormentor!
Abandon the boss's mindset and embrace the SFP's
Valiantly, we won't click "Manage Employees"!
Many of us saw many of us die in time of war
But battle is not the only oath we swore!
Vote for a new era of socialist prosperity
Vote to make centrist self-interest a rarity!
Together, we'll redeem the eUSA militarily
And likewise end the capitalists' barbarity
Arm in arm, we'll achieve our class ascendancy
Liberate ourselves from our old dependency!
[What A Guy descends to one knee, arms outstretched, as the music cuts out.]
[Curtain.]
"The righteous one has no sense of humor." -- Bertolt Brecht
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Comments
Vote vote vote!
Oh those conniving, cocky knaves with all the trimmings,
Those poor noble souls who get blotted in illusion
...in the SFP they'll meet the deep authority!
Sing it for Bert, comrade!
sing it!
[Bow]
Agree. Musical note or mp3 would be nice.
Sing along at home: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHRWx0Jmy-Q
Relative and absulute.
Lincoln Brigade.
o7