Junior-Journalist Award Article

Day 5,577, 08:40 • Published in USA Germany • by Sagrotan

Blah

Ok, since many of you insist on the actual article I have decided to write one.

I have left my job since it was getting in the way of my erep playing. The life under the bridge is ok, wifi is bad but I guess it is worth it, I get to write this sh..tuff.

As Autumn is upon us and Summer is over, it is very important for you - erep warriors get out into the wild and get in shape and use a perfect chance to update your outdoor survival skills.

For that reason alone I got you covered, I have prepared some essential tips & tricks on how to make the most of it, as an inexperienced survivalist I believe I watched a lot of movies and almost red first two pages of a book about it.



First thing that you need to do is to check if the forest, canyon or Mars has good phone reception, preferably 5G as 4G is for losers and flat earthers but also you cannot play anything with it.



You will need food. Preferably snacks, as wilderness is super boring. Water is too heavy to carry so go ahead and leave that, there is water running everywhere, even in your own body. Of course you bring Jerky beef, if you don't have Jerky beef you are not an American, you are a Chinese spy looking for the rest of the strangest gender revealing balloon. We are on to you.

In case you forgot chips and dip, you can always collect nuts from the forest, here is a perfect recipe I have stole for you



Whole30 + Keto Trail Mix (from Natalie at tastelovely)
" --
2 cups unsweetened coconut chips
1 cup organic raw almonds
1 cup organic raw cashews
1 cup raw pecans

On a rimmed baking sheet, combine all the nuts and coconut chips. Toss to combine.
Put the rimmed baking sheet in a cold oven. Turn your oven on to 350ºF. Roast for 15-18 minutes, until toasty and golden brown.
Store in an airtight container, I especially love this stasher bag to store it. Will keep on the shelf for at least 4 weeks.

--"

Of course, you have these spread around forest or wilderness at each corner, you just have to climb some trees and stuff.

But, if you are looking for a Keto diet recipe when you are hungry as hell in a survival situation - I have a bad news for you, you will gain some weight.



Number three is tricky, it will require a hunt a Deer. For this, you need a Deer horns in order to blend in. You can find these in each forest at any amazon 4,3 star rated link, my favorite Deer horns are the ones below



It looks very stylish and the Deer pack will believe that you are one of their own. Once you get near the Deer there is just one thing to do. Get friends with it, find out their secrets, their way of life, grass they eat, their favorite NCAA teams, their grandmothers names... It will take a couple of years but if you have survived so far it is because of this useful list.

That is all for now, for those that wanted me to write, I did, so be happy.
Disclaimer: all of the things I wrote might not be true.
Disclaimer: I do not sell the Deer horns from the picture above.