YOU KNOW YOU ARE MACEDONIAN WHEN-[EAG]

Day 1,602, 04:31 • Published in North Macedonia North Macedonia • by Eagean

-You use ‘rakija’ to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions and as a massage or shaving lotion

-your parents invite 500 people over to your house because it is your ‘slava’

-When your handball,basketball etc. national team is playing in some foreign country and you have more fans than the host.

- Even if you're a girl, your parents (who can't remember your name) call you "sine(son)".

- Your uncle makes his own wine that's stronger than 'rakija'.

- Your mother insists that 'promaja(the wind that comes from an open window)' will kill you.

-You always bargain at the green-market and try to get discounts

- Your baba(grandma) will not accept the fact that you're just not hungry.

- Your parents constantly say you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate
from University.

-The house has to be vacumed at least ten times a week

- Your mum or Dad screams at you infront of the whole school on report night.

- You are a fan of whatever soccer team Goran Pandev plays for.

- When your mum calls you 'stoka(cattle)'.

- You have a Goce Delcev picture on the wall.

- There's a slab of fat in your fridge called 'SLANINA'.

-Your parents tell you that Virginity (for girls only) is more important than your life.

-Half of you yard is planted with vegetables

-Your mother has her own pharmacy at home and knows how to cure all illnesses

- If something goes wrong in the family, it definitely has something to do with 'Magia(black magic)'.

- Everyone asks you how much money you made on your wedding night.

- You constantly get asked how much money you make at work and how big your home loan is.

Your wife has to make you food eveyday and if she doesn't she is not a 'domakjinka(housewife)'.

- You go to your baba's(grandma's) house, she offers you supa(soup),sarma, piperki(peppers) or Kolbasi(sausages) and gets upset when you don't eat EVERYTHING.

- If you are seen drunk at a 21st by an oldie, your parents find out the next day and call you a "pijanica(alchoholic)".

- Your fridge always has more beer than food, just in case 'gosti(guests)' come over.

-Your parents eat lubenica(watermelon) with leb(bread) and sirejne(cheese)

-You ask your mum to go out and she says...Prashaj go tatkoti(Ask your dad)

-Your parents buy you winter coats three sizes bigger so it will fit the next year

-You get hurt & you need to go to the hospital and your parents say "Nisto nema...Ke ti pomini kako na kuche(It's nothing...you will heal like a dog"

-Every person that is dark skin is a guptin(gypsey) or a "majmun(monkey)"

-Your first boyfriend has to be your husband

-You come home later than you are allowed to and your dad says to you: "More ima mamicheto da ti go e*am(Ohh i'm gonna **** your mother)" and your mum looks at him weird as if to say "YEAH YOU WISH"!

-Your parents eat hot peppers like chocolate

-all other action stops when you hear the music of ‘Ogan da go gori’ or ‘Biser balkanski’;

-your parents think everything is a conspiracy

-after a late night out with your mates on a Friday night, your mum comes into your room at 8.00 in the morning and vacums your room and tells you to get up because it’s almost lunch time

-You definitely know you are a ‘Macho’ when you mix ‘Kisela voda’ with ‘Smederevka’ at a local ‘birtija'