Where is Chris Carnage?

Day 1,379, 20:38 • Published in Australia Australia • by Chris Carnage

News had spread of the mysterious disappearance of Chris Carnage, crusader for social justice and party president of eAustralia's greatest political institution and force for revolutionary change - the Australian Communist Party.

The revolutionary committee searched high and low for their faithful servant. Factory workers dropped their hammers and huddled in worried groups, sharing their concerns about life without Carnage. Grain harvesters stood idle in the fields, sickles held loosely by their sides, contemplating with fear a future without their proletarian hero. Everywhere that workers congregate, in the rubber plantations, the iron mines, the food factories of our nations' glorious productive machinery, the atmosphere was thick with fear, uncertainty and doubt. In the streets the children screamed, the lovers cried and the poets dreamed.

Rumours spread that Carnage had been abducted and was being held political prisoner in the notorious Boggo Road detention facility. Reports of Carnage sightings were phoned in to talkback radio stations; "spotted in a munitions store in Dubbo", "seen at the Bourbon & Beefsteak at 3am", a ferry passenger even reported spotting Carnage swimming out through the heads of Sydney Harbour toward the open ocean. The infamous government secret service, the NSA, refused to confirm or deny that Carnage was undergoing extensive interrogation in a disused bank vault on the outskirts of Adelaide only adding to the wild speculation of his whereabouts.

A research group from the Australian National University went so far as to declare that Carnage had never actually existed beyond the collective consciousness of the eAustralian working class, and that his heroic deeds should really be interpreted a little less literally than is often seen by Carnage's more fundamentalist followers.

Fear not comrades, the rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. Sly capitalists, your exploitative misdeeds during my absence have not gone unnoticed. Despicable jack-booted neo-fascists you will rule the streets no longer. Carnage lives!

TL😉R version - I was sick, I'm back