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Potpourri

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A local council in Poland was deliberating as to the mascot to be selected for a children’s playground. Someone suggested Winnie the Pooh.
Scandal! “The problem with that bear is it doesn't have a complete wardrobe,” said Tuszyn town Councillor Ryszard Cichy. Having no pants makes the character “wholly inappropriate for children.” Someone suggested that the lack of pants was OK because Pooh has nothing to reveal, but apparently that only makes things worse. “This is very disturbing but can you imagine!” said Councillor Hanna Jachimska. “The author was over 60 and cut [the bear’s] testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity!”

-- London Independent


Jokes

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"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!" the society matron protested. "Can't you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?"

"You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer.
"I'll just put it in my report that she died at the stroke of two."

-o-o-o-o-

The two 'elderly citizens' were talking. "I guess you're never too old," the one said. "I was on the university campus and this pretty little coed said she'd be interested in dating me. I just don't understand it."

"Well," his friend replied, "women are more aggressive these days; they don't mind being the first to ask."

"No I don't think it's that."

"Well, maybe you remind her of her father," his pal ventured.

"I don't think it's that, either. It's just that she also mentioned something about Carbon 14."

-o-o-o-o-

Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm's client denied the allegations. When the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously.

"He's lying!" the man yelled. "There were only three of us."

-o-o-o-o-

It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful