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Potpourri

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"Many of the leaders and assistants to the leaders from around the world were in attendance at the U.N. Climate Summit. They say this was arguably the most high-profile, significant meeting that will in no way change anything whatsoever."

-Jimmy Kimmel

Jokes

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With some misgivings, we left a young baby-sitter in charge of our three energetic youngsters. When we returned a few, hours later, she was sitting alone watching TV. I went to check on the children, and found them in our narrow hallway.

By bracing their arms and legs against the walls, two of them had climbed up to the ceiling. "The baby-sitter taught us how," they said gleefully.

The sitter joined me, her face a deep red. "Since they had me climbing the walls, I figured they might as well be too," she stammered.

-o-o-o-o-

I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was, "What was the largest amphibious assault of all time?"

Expecting to see "the D-Day invasion" as the answer, I found instead on one paper, "Moses and the plague of frogs."

-o-o-o-o-

John had a new dog, but he didn't want to deal with puppies so he got her fixed. However, some how the gal still got pregnant, and even had identical twins! The media loved it and soon she was a celebrity.

John wrote a book about her entitled, "Two Dachshunds in One: A Spayed Oddity".

-o-o-o-o-

I had this one night stand...and I felt so badly about it! The next morning I ran out and bought another one for the other side of my bed.