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Potpourri

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Last Thursday night around midnight, a woman from Houston, Texas was arrested, jailed, and charged with manslaughter for shooting a man 6 times in the back as he was running away with her purse. The following Monday morning, the woman was called in front of the Arraignment Judge, sworn in, and asked to explain her actions.

The woman replied, "I was standing at the corner bus stop for about 15 minutes, waiting for the bus to take me home after work. I am a waitress at a local cafe.

"I was there alone, so I had my right hand on my pistol in my purse hanging on my left shoulder. All of a sudden I was spun around hard to my left. As I caught my balance, I saw a man running away with my purse.

"I looked down at my right hand and saw that my fingers were wrapped tightly around my pistol. The next thing I remember is saying out loud, 'No Way Punk! You're not stealing my pay check and tips.' I raised my right hand, pointed my pistol at the man running away from me with my purse, and started squeezing the trigger of my pistol!

When asked by the arraignment judge, "Why did you shoot the man 6 times?, the woman replied -- under oath, "Because, when I pulled the trigger the 7th time, it only went 'click.'"


-- The Houston Herald


Jokes

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The normally laconic and unemotional bar patron muse😛"I'd like a woman...like the moon."

His drinking buddy responded, "That's lovely; you mean you'd like her to be as beautiful and radiant like the moon?"

"No; I'd like her to show up at night and disappear come morning!"

-o-o-o-o-

At a country church many members were gaining weight,

So they were put on a diet of a glass of Tab and one apple for lunch.
After eating their light lunch, the group would start singing.

They became known as the "Tab and Apple Choir."

-o-o-o-o-

Three medical professionals stood before the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter ordered each to state their profession and something good they did with their life.

The doctor said, "I devoted my life to the sick and needy."

Saint Peter said, "You may enter Heaven."

The nurse said, "I supported the doctors and their patients."

Saint Peter said, "You may enter Heaven."

The third person said, "I ran an enormous HMO and was responsible for the health care of millions of people."

Saint Peter said, "You may enter Heaven -- but you can only stay two nights!"

-o-o-o-o-

The Beatles lied...you CAN buy love!