Great American Trendkill

Day 3,604, 20:03 • Published in USA USA • by Jimmy Cincinnati


My Fellow Americans; (Or what remains of us.)

Our salvation isn't relegated to the prescription of a few intellectuals.
I would like to disillude you of the notion that we are all rednecks who, in our ignorance, defy the wise policies of the elites.

Let's be honest; we've seen better days. Despite many years of practicing the Wild Owl Doctrine, we have not flourished. But our society has upheld our fundamental ethics and the continuity of our community has gained international acclaim. (Let's all take a moment to thank Harambe.)

Many have chosen to defy the zeitgeists and become a catalyst for the changes we've advocated. We are familiar with the administrative tools, we are conscious of the hyperbole that's being propagated in our institutions and we are no strangers to pragmatism.

~Announcer~
Joining the Council:


Vice President
Maxwell Hanz
Max is the new kid on the block. He's ascended the ranks from complete obscurity to become one of the nations most renowned politician/celebrities.
After his first congressional tenure, he inherited the role of media secretary and won his party's presidential election. The party and the media proliferated.


Secretary of Defense
Eleanor Norton
Through the blood soaked corridors, steps the next Secretary of Defense.
She might possibly be the most kind hearted individual I've spoken with this month. She promised not to eviscerate me and reveal my heart as I die, as long as I don't get the eUS wiped off the map.
I've graciously accepted the terms.


Foreign Affairs Minister
Yui MHCP001
The current Foreign Affairs Minister and Shampoo Spokesperson Yui has maintained a list of national embassies that has been indispensable. I have made contacts and forged personal friendships that would not have been possible, otherwise.
Yui's joined by a team of 5 ambassadors. We are still seeking volunteers.
Two words; Diplomatic Immunity.


Chief of Staff
George Armstrong Custer
The next is a highly respected member of our eSociety. I've proposed an enshrinement to honor his services and devotion to the nation. He's served abreast countless administrations and isn't one to let his political affiliation stand in the way of his ethical codes. Say hello to George Custer, but don't step on his lawn.


Secretary of State
RF Williams
And now for the last, but not the least cliché announcement!
He's been old schooled, new schooled and home schooled. He's started schools and he's got a school in his name. He's got his own currency, he's on the lam and he's dillydallying his way through Phoenix Quinn's prison notebooks.
It's the ole Cantankerous Busy Body,.... R.F. Williams!





Once a task has begun, stay with it until it's done. Be your task great or small, do it well or not at all.
Thanks for reading!




I didn't feel right about publishing this without acknowledging the victims of the mass shooting in the LasVegas.
I hope the families, friends and survivors of the tragedy will find compassion in these times.