FURTHER CALAMITY IN THE FEDS; GREENE FOR PARTY PRESIDENT
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by Greene12
Feds, I think we we've all been rattled by certain discoveries. We know now that Evil Elvis eats babies... and that I allegedly might have kicked a puppy once. I'll even be honest about stomping your grandpa, me and the elderly got beef okay? These are trying times for our party, but I think we can get through it. We just need to keep calm and serious about the scandals emerging around us.
In fact, with some of the poal results coming in, and it appearing that the feds don't mind having a baby-eating evil man as their leader, I planned to go to evil elvis and his partner, Melissa Rose, this past evening to concede the race. Thats right feds, I had nothing but congenial feeling towards evil elvis, and I'm beginning to realize that the consumption of infants isn't really all that bad.
So I headed down the road to their building....and well, it was odd walking in. Firstly, their building was pretty much set up in a pit in the ground. I wouldn't call the place toooooo horrible but you know, it wasn't nice. Everything seemed to be rotting and termite infested. There was a giant steam whistle for some reason. It also smelled horrible. Evil's office pretty much sucks really.....but I was on srs bsns, so I kept my focus.
Evil Elvis and Melissa Rose. Evil's lookin p evil these days.
I was just about to enter their office, when I heard it around the corner: the sound of about one bajillion sewing machines and poor crying employees working in substandard conditions!
They have to deal with air conditioning blasting during the winter, and the furnaces are on during the summer! Their three-minute lunch break is announced with a steam whistle! Melissa started throwing small rocks at employees who weren't working fast enough! Their pensions were defined contribution, and the only holiday they get off is February 29th!
I was Shocked! Evil Elvis Is Running A Sweatshop! There were children crying! There were adults crying! There were ponies crying! There was Melissa Rose Laughing! Evil just sat at his desk, counting the profits he's making on all those poor illegal immigrants working in his sweatshop!
Feds, I can not let this go without doing something. Evil eats babies, he runs a sweatshop, his first name is "Evil". Do you really want this man for Party President?
Vote for Greene12 for Party President, I'll send a puppy flying your way if you do!
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^ This picture is a link! Click it! You Know You Want TO! CLICK IT DAMMIT! 😁
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Comments
Do you really want an evil labor-exploiting man to run the nations top party?
Well where do you think that fine dandy suit of yours comes from? If you were honest, you'd strip down right in that office, though I suppose in surrendering that's just what you intended to do beforehand. Go on, do it. I'm sure if you got Elvis to bet, you could win the size game and get him to surrender in shame.
It's not the size that matters, it's how well you blend faces into your manufactured evidence jpegs. I clearly have him beat in that department. .....Or were you talking about something else?
The size does matter. The bigger the suit, the more your workers have to work to make that man happy.
Will the puppy be delivered via ballistic kicking?
I thought you were dead.
I thought you were an eLimey.
Good luck, mate!
FIST
Greene12 is evil.
I have heard some very disturbing revelations during this Fed PP race, but "Their pensions were defined contribution"!!!???? I am SHOCKED, I tell you, SHOCKED!
The horror, the horror.... what kind of monsters are these?