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Potpourri

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Moses Montefiore, the great nineteenth-century philanthropist, once found himself seated next to an anti-Semitic nobleman at a dinner party.

"I have just returned from Japan," the nobleman was saying, "and it is a most unusual country. Did you know that it has neither pigs nor Jews?"

"In that case," Montefiore replied, "you and I should go there, so it will have a sample of each."


Jokes

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Teacher to class: "Give me a sentence with a direct object."

Student: "Everybody thinks our teacher is beautiful."

Teacher: "Why, thank you. But what is the direct object?"

Student: "A good report card."

-o-o-o-o-

I took a black bag full of old rags into the charity shop today. The cashier took a look inside and told me, "I'm confused. You said on the phone, 'summer clothes.'"

"Some ARE clothes," I replied, pulling out an old pair of boxer shorts.

-o-o-o-o-

Jake had proposed to young Gina and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law.

"Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?" the older man asked the suitor.

"Yes, sir," replied Jake, "I'm sure I am."

"Think carefully now," said Gina's father. "There are twelve of us ..."

-o-o-o-o-

Even the smallest egg farms are multi-layer organisations