Beutiful Disaster:

Day 2,887, 12:23 • Published in USA USA • by Jimmy Cincinnati

Issue #96



Well, we peed in the taskmaster's Fruit-Loops and when they complained about the taste; we told them that it was negative-calorie, milk.
Then, we got a Voodoo Priestess to give them all Erectile Dysfunction.(Wanda; please, give me a call. I'd love to see you, again.)


The world keeps spinning and we try our best to keep pace, but despite our best efforts; we keep ending up in the same spot. The overlords keep throwing the hurdles and the taskmasters are whipping, harder. Some congress members are selling their souls; just to make ends meet.



The election at the SFP was a real clencher. We had a clear winner, at the start. Halfway through the day; it became apparent that the race was going to be close. It stayed that way for the next 6 hours.

Here are the election results of the top 10 parties:




Federalists

Orikfricai wins with 58.33% of the vote.

Carlos Jomar Santiago had 13.54%

Elena Claudia had 10.42 %



United States Worker's Party

Dinnyin wins with 80.25% of the vote.

SteffanoS had 7.41% of the vote.

Alexander_Auctoritas had 7.41% of the vote.



Socialist Freedom Party

Jaden A. wins with 49.45% of the vote.

Kevin Sheridan had 47.25% of the vote.

zvoc had 2.20% of the vote.



We the People

Oblige wins with 30.91% of the vote.

MazzyCat had 29.09% of the vote.

Cubby had 25.45% of the vote.



Black Sheep

Arrden wins with 58.11% of the vote.

Captain Black Sheep had 32.43%

Dominar Rygel XVI had 9.46% of the vote.



American Military Party

greeling wins with 59.26% of the vote.

Evry had 24.07% of the vote.

Warrior 22 had 5.56%



Social Imperialist Party

Dr_Devil wins with 55.56% of the vote.

Senryaku had 44.44% of the vote.

sony toprano had O.00%



EZC's Apolitical Fun Party

WhydoIbother wins with 28.57% of the vote.

stvarca had 19.05% of the vote.

Slybabymichele had 19.05%



Croatian-American Society

jaywalker71 wins with 100% of the vote.



Korean American Society
Had no Candidates.






Meanwhile; back at NOMOS Labs:

*GoTJ*
What have you come up with, since my last visit, Poindexter.

*Intern*
My name is Alex

*GoTJ*
OK, Dave!

*Intern*
I keep telling you that you need more congress members. Congress voted itself into obsolescence. You need more representation from people that demand a voice.

*GoTJ*
What the hell do I pay you guys for?

*Intern*
YOU DON"T PAY ME SHIT!

*GoTJ*
Bullshit; it comes out of my taxes.

*Intern*
You are, soooo, getting sued!






Grab a Pen and Paper. Help us write the People's History.