Join the new world

As many of my loyal readers are aware, yesterday I was on the radio. Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but any time I have to go on stage, or speak in front of a crowd, or anything like that.. there is a moment when I have to take a deep breath. There is just that one moment of nervous excitement. Maybe it comes from that time in 2nd grade I forgot my line in the school play, or maybe somewhere else, but I have that moment of going "Oh.. maybe I should leave/ hang up/ walk way"... whatever the situation, I get that feeling for a moment, and then I have to calm myself and keep it cool. So you end up just seeing the cool cucumber part.

But that moment of nervous excitement-- I like it. It keeps everything real. It keeps everything fun. Whether I end up doing fantastic-- as I think I did last night-- or whether I don't, that doesn't really matter in my own eyes. what matters is knowing I took a deep breath and worked past whatever I was feeling.

Because lots of people don't. They spend two gold on these newspapers, and never write anything in them. They think about calling up a radio show, then hang up at the last minute. Or... they like a girl or guy, but don't ask them out. They want a raise, but don't talk to the boss. They want to join EZC, but are afraid of not measuring up. (Well, I don't know about the rest, but if that's your fear, Henry "Hank" Hill is a very nice guy and he'll help you get squared away.)

I'm not better than any of those guys. I just have my reasons to push forward. Here's my story.

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I'm going to share a story with you. A true story from High School. It may lower your opinion of me a bit, but it happened and I can't change that.

In High School I liked this girl named Abby. I really, really did. Probably the entire world knew this, but when you're in high school you think you're good at keeping stuff secret and hidden.

I liked Abby. But I didn't ask her out. Because I liked her so much, it was different than the usual calling gals up on Friday night until one said yes. There was stuff at stake. You know.

So I didn't do anything. We graduated and went our separate ways. I ran into her in college three or four years later, at a party of a mutual friend. We got to talking, and things were going well, and she asked me why I never asked her out in high school. I told her that I would imagine her saying 'no,' in various ways, and how it would depress me. So I didn't even try.

Well, I was expecting a laugh or a chuckle. A sympathetic nod. Maybe a roll in the hay for old time's sake.

No.

Instead, she got into a rage and tore me a new hole in my rear. And the gist of her speech was this: it was downright arrogant of me to have made her decision for her without giving her a chance. Maybe she would have said no. Maybe she would have said yes. But I never gave her the chance.

Ten years later, my friend Dave ran into her. He mentioned my name, and Abby was -still- pretty furious at me. Blamed me for ruining her life, because the guy she did end up with was pretty abusive, but got her pregnant and they were of a religion that doesn't easily believe in divorce.
And her husband knew, deep down, that it was me she was (or had been) sweet on, same as I had been for her.

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So, it was a lesson learned. A tough and bitter one, in some ways. And so now I keep plugging away. When I'm in a chat room, and someone goes "Hey, who wants to call into our show?" ... well, I can't say I don't hesitate. I do get that moment of "Should I? What do I have to say? What if it sounds stupid? What if everyone hates me and they take away my dog? Do I have a dog? Do Serbians have pets? Or are they like N. Koreans and.."
But I remember what Abby said, I take a deep breath and I go make my speech, or call in, or write this column.

Do what you want in life. If you're new here, do what you want in eRepublik. But don't be your own worst enemy, and decide for other people how they feel. Don't hide and prevent them from having any opinion. Give them the chance.