[MDP] CP Election Candidate Breakdown

Day 2,540, 22:50 • Published in Canada Canada • by Xander Kross

It's just about that time again. The lulz-o-coaster has plenty of passengers this time around, and the mudslinging has been fun but lackluster. Once again, MDP must show eCanada how it's done.

Magic Bus CPF Candidate


Chance Harrison wearing CPF camo

Apparently CPF voters were unaware that Rylde gets saucy when he's had a few drinks. So the hippies had themselves a little love-in and picked their very own Merry Prankster, Chance Harrison.

Mr. Harrison is fresh from his week-long ban for his rogue impeachment proposal. He has recently stated that he made that proposal because his term in Congress was nearly up, and he thought it would be a lulzy thing to do. When he's not subverting the democratic process and violating the law, he's hanging out with his non-Canadian MU and fighting the good fight for Aurora. But not really, see, because (hasty justification).

To me, the really funny part is how Mr. Harrison is pushing a rather familiar "WAAARRRR!" agenda, keeping members of Rylde's cabinet, and using the Latin version of Rylde's signatory catch-phrase. Really, CPF - are you SURE you wouldn't rather just support Rylde outright? Why settle for the generic, Aspartame-laden, yellow-label no-name variety when you know you want the real deal, and can get it for the same price?

Really, I don't care about the Irish MU that much. It's a fun talking point, sure, and really does demonstrate that CPF is looking out for their own interests first and the country's interests second. But at least the people throwing their votes away on this lulzy anarcho-hippie Rylde-wannabe won't be voting for McVicker.

McVicker


We all knew McVicker liked sticking it to the man, but we thought that phrase meant something else...

So the VP/MoFA has been quite busy betraying his entire tenure as Rylde's running mate by basically pulling a 180 on everything he said during their joint campaign. He laid into Dozzer_X's stance on Foreign Affairs, calling him boring and beige and probably a hippie, and now has the poor confused fellow set to take a spot in his cabinet as Minister of Foreign Affairs. He rails against Chance Harrison for belonging to an Irish MU, ignoring the fact that he controversially gave the Aurora SG a spot in his cabinet this term.

Hey, nothing against our pal Don Croata. He did no apparent harm while he was here, and putting him in the FA cabinet was a ballsy move which had the potential of putting us in a good place in the event of an alliance shuffle. Oh wait, that shuffle didn't happen.

The really, honestly hilarious thing about McVicker is how he rants about how the hippies ruin things, but then he advocates stopping all wars as a means of protest. Stopping all wars and organized protests are pretty much the most hippie things imaginable.

Maybe McVicker ought to take a time-out and let his compass needle find North before he chases his ambition again.

The Q Crew



I seem to remember this Quimbie Muffins fellow being terribly rude and unpleasant about something once, but I misremember the circumstances. I have no objections to someone being rude and unpleasant, and his avatars make me laugh. So, unfortunately, I have little mud to sling at Quimbie Muffins.

Likewise, Quentin Carlson. He seems unobjectionable. No mud to sling.

Are these endorsements? LOLno. I just didn't want the poor fringe candidates to feel left out. Collectively, they get to take the place of James R Bond, who has declined to run for this election, and will benefit from all the throwaway votes being cast against the "serious" candidates.

Canada Says Fix The Game



The President Formerly Known As Rylde is the clear incumbent. He promised us a sh*t-show war during his October term, and no one can claim that that promise was not fulfilled. The Airstrike on and subsequent wipe of Pakistan was a reward in and of itself, but the consequences of that battle were even more hilarious and fun. We got hit with 5 NEs as a result of that landing and came out the other side of it looking like heroes. We didn't manage to keep Pakistan for very long, but we didn't need to. We walked in, f*ked things up and walked out, and repelled an AS and an invasion by the Brits while we did so.

I imagine the rest of eCanada is with me when I say I want another month of that. And the guy that can do it is the President Formerly Known as Rylde.

Actually, let's take that Prince analogy a step further and give Rylde a symbol for a name. My suggestion:

┌∩┐(ಠ_ಠ)┌∩┐

To be fair, our man ┌∩┐(ಠ_ಠ)┌∩┐ has been a little quiet lately, except for that time he got drunk and apparently pissed off everyone in CPF. He hasn't yet announced his cabinet or done any of the press-whoring the other candidates have done so far. He really doesn't need to in order to win the MDP vote, because the alternatives are clearly unacceptable.

eCanada has a choice: the lulzy wannabe, the rudderless drama-llama ding dong, a fringe candidate or the guy we know can get shit done. So it's really only one choice.

Vote Rylde The God King Canada Says Fix The Game ┌∩┐(ಠ_ಠ)┌∩┐