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A chemical engineer, electrical engineer, and a Microsoft
engineer are on a road trip. The car breaks down.

The electrical engineer looks under the hood and can't find
anything wrong.

The chemical engineer checks the oil and fuel and can't find
anything wrong.

The Microsoft engineer says, "Close all the windows, and
try again."

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My pastor-husband, Scott, has a sweet tooth, so I knew the
chocolate chip cookies I'd just baked might disappear before
I returned from running errands. To discourage him, I taped a verse
on the wrapped goodies:
"Everything is permissible for me -- but not everything is
beneficial." -- 1 Cor. 6:12.

When I returned, I found half of the cookies gone, and another
verse attache😛 "The righteous eat to their heart's content,
but the stomach of the wicked goes hungry." -- Prov. 13:25.

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Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and
requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for
dinner, and was treated to the best fish and chips she had ever tasted!

After dinner, she went into the kitchen to thank the chefs.
She was met by two of the Brothers.

The first one welcomes her, "Hello, I am Brother Michael, and this
is Brother Charles."

"I'm very pleased to meet you," replies the nun. "I just wanted to
thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best
I've ever had! Out of curiosity, would you mind telling me who
cooked what?"

Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."

She turned to the other Brother and queried, "Then you must be....?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so -- I am the chip monk."

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I once bought my kid a set of batteries for his birthday with a note
on it saying “Toys not included.”