Man Bankrupts local fast food Joint, by dieing.

Day 727, 20:03 • Published in Canada Canada • by Lord Penguin

Tomas Rudker, died last night in a incident involving a deep fryer, 10 pounds of fish heads, and a bottle of cough syrup.
It is unclear why he was doing what he was doing but we here at Sulphuric Times say that it probably was just garbage day.
The tragic part of the story, is that the local fast food joint 'Heart a Mac' had to close its door due to lack of customers. We went to the owner today to find out why.
"Well Tom made up about 78% of sales, he would come in every day and order 15 double Heart a Macs with extra sauce, then he would go up to the counter and order his food for the rest of the day" said Owner Kelp Mac
The two other customers that went to this specific Heart a Mac were in shock that their friend and eating competitor was dead.
"I can’t believe it" said Dana "He was 24 years old, too young"
They were dismayed to hear that Kelp would be closing his doors, by are currently doing negotiations to try and keep their restaurant open.
Tomas will be put to rest in a vat of cooking oil tomorrow.
He was 24 years old.
This is James McNamara with Sulphuric Times wishing you a happy day and to go out and support your local fast food place.