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A gorilla in a bar!haha how hilarious...! 😛

HAAA 🙂

A Priest is hearing confession one day. He needs a bathroom break desperately when a woman steps into the confessional and says, "Bless me Father for I have sinned. It's been one year since my last confession.
The Priest responds, "Uh, go ahead my child."
The woman starts with, "Father, I've had impure thoughts."
The priest realizes that this confession may take awhile so he says, "Uh, just a minute."
The priest looks out of the confessional and sees a janitor. He says, "Hey. Come here."
The priest asks the janitor to hear the woman's confession. The janitor says, "I have no idea what to give for penance. "I have a chart.", says the Priest. "I really have to pee."
The janitor takes the chart, enters the confessional and says, "Uh. Go ahead."
The woman says,"Father, I've had impure thoughts." The janitor looks at the chart and says, "Ten Hail Mary's." The woman continues, "I've acted on these impure thoughts." The janitor after viewing the chart says, "Uh, ten Our Fathers." The woman says, "I've had sex numerous times" janitor says, "Uh, ten rosaries." The woman responds, "I've performed oral sex."
The janitor studies the list and can not find oral sex. In a panic he opens the confessional door and spies an altar boy. He says, "Hey, what does the priest give for a blow job?"
The altar boy responds, "Oh, usually a candy bar and a soda."

let's pray castaneda will not notice this article

No chance Ivann 😛
A bloke arrives at a nightclub door and the bouncers say he can't come in without a tie, so he goes to the boot of his car and gets a pair of jump leads, wraps them around his neck and goes back to the doormen. "Can I come in now,' he says to the bouncers. 'Yeah, but don't start anything'

Priest jokes ftw.

A guy goes to the priest after the mass:
"Fuck Father, your sermon today was fuckin awesome."
The priest replies "Uh, good, thank you, but my child, don't use such language in the house of God"
The guy says: "Father, your sermon was so fuckin amazing that i donated 500 euros to to the Church"
And the priest replies: "Woa, really? You 're not fuckin bullshiting me?"

If I am not mistaken, Gorillas prefer warm beer.

Two priests at a Cathedral in France put out the word that they need to hire a replacement bell ringer since the fellow who rang the bells recently died after years of service.
The word went out and only two men showed up for the job and both men were missing both arms.
"How can you two guys ring the bell?" asked the first priest.
"We will show you" said the first man.
"We just have to go up to the bell tower to show you" said the second man.
So they climbed up the many floors to the very top of the cathedral.
The second priest asked the men to show them how they would ring the bell since with no arms the two priests were a little disbelieving of the two men.
"Well whoever rings the bell the best will get the job." the first priest said.
So the first man runs up to the bell and smashes it with his face. The bell rings. But on the back swing the bell hits the man and knocks him right out of the bell tower to his death.
So the second man says " I can do better" and runs up to the bell and smashes it with his face and quickly jumps to the side to avoid the back swing of the bell. But he misjudges his jump and goes right out of the tower after the first man.
When the first man hit the ground a third priest climbed up the tower to see what was going on.
He gets to the top and asks the two priest what was going on and they tell him.
"What was the first guys name?" asks the third priest.
"I don't know but his face rings a bell" answers the second priest.
" And the second man?" the third priest asks.
" I don't know but he is a dead ringer for the first guy" says the first priest.

A priest and a rabbi are out drinking together. After a few the priest turns to the rabbi and says, "This is grand. We should have done this long ago." The rabbi agrees with him.
After a few more drinks the priest leans towards the rabbi and says, "Why don't we go and screw an altar boy." The rabbi responds, "Out of what?"