Congress A Jackass's Story

Day 769, 23:28 • Published in Canada Canada • by Rylde

Well I don't have much to write about these days as CC has a great columnist. So i figured I'd write about my adventures in congress with that pack of by the book hard asses.
Well I'm not looking to get banned yet so details will be vague and i don't feel like backtracking and finding out what was closed door and what was open house anyways.

Day One

I was shocked to have been elected at all as I was unavailable all day on x-mas but my CC boys got the job done. Afterwards I tried to navigate my way through that bloody rats nest they call the legislative branch. You'd have better luck finding a virgin in a whorehouse than what you want on that forum.
I was the only one who voted against the alliance with the USA because they took our hockey teams and Bettman's an american douche.


Day Two

The jist of it was there was some bills and rewrites of old bills that needed to be voted on. I concentrated on each very shrewdly for about 10 seconds then decided to save myself some time and I pulled a coin out of my pocket.
Most congressman try to be accountable to there ridings by saying what and how they voted. I'm pretty sure no one in Saskatchewan is alive enough to care and if they do let me introduce you to my middle finger. The power of the coin toss decreed that I supported 2 bills and was against one.

This was alot of hard work so to reward myself I nominated myself for more responsiblity in the govt process. I was quickly cut down. There loss of entertainment in the end.

Got into a spat with a congressman saying me and CC were political. Guess he was proud of himself for bringing up the obvious that some members of CC dabble in the dark arts. Not much I can say to the guy considering i'm sitting next to the dude in Congress.
I can see you made it into govt with your keen sense of observation, good on you. His next trick will be to count how many members are in congress.

I was already nicely told to shut up unless I brought something to the table. I replied that I would take it into consideration. But we all know I won't. I bring myself to the table. I think thats more than enough. Hell maybe next month he'd like me to bring more of my friends for the lulz.

Congress is a breeze I've discovered all you need is one coin and alot of luck. I'll bring you more tales from the cluster%$#@ in the near future. Till then PM your local Congressman with worthless stuff to say.

I might be up for the Order of Canada. All in a days work for your local neighborhood Jackass.