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Ireland

The Suridius Maximus

35

We've got lasers now, says Navy

15 • Day 973, 15:06 • Published in Ireland Ireland •

WE'VE got bloody lasers and everything now, the Royal Navy said last night.

The Ministry of Defence signed a contract for the Raytheon surface-to-air laser after senior officers tried one at the Farnborough air show and said it was totally

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16

RONALDO BABY PUNCHES MIDWIFE

4 • Day 966, 16:12 • Published in Ireland Ireland •

RONALDO'S baby son punched a midwife within seconds of being born before feigning a calf injury, it has been confirmed.

The infant lashed out after being refused permission to smoke a cigar in the delivery room and then being placed on a towel

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14

FRANCE TO BAN SPIDERMAN

5 • Day 955, 06:28 • Published in Ireland Ireland •

FRANCE has pledged to ban Spiderman unless he reveals his secret identity, it emerged last night.

The web-ejaculating superhero has been warned he will be arrested if he is seen swinging through the streets of Paris while wearing his lycra

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9

World Cup so far

2 • Day 949, 09:56 • Published in Ireland Ireland •

So the first match of the knockout stages is over....Uruguay beating South Korea 2-1, so how have things faired so far.

Well France and Italy both finished bottom of their respective groups...France got beaten by both Mexico and South Africa and

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24

The Irishman Press Association

12 • Day 946, 07:32 • Published in Ireland Ireland •

Hello,

A number of Irish players have got together to create the IPA to assist players with gaining votes and subs to help them with there articles. I know its been offered already but the difference here is, we wont ask you to pay us and we wont

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