The Crude Times - newspaper of Ray Crude

11

Ray Crude abducted! Will he ever be found?

11 • Day 4,423, 07:21 • Published in United Kingdom

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Ray Crude has gone! Crude was just about to announce his triumphant return to the eUK, however it now looks like he has gone forever. Crude was grabbed by hooded figures and bundled into the back of a van and driven away, mere minutes before he was

6

(Another) New Editor joins the Crude Times!

6 • Day 4,056, 06:51 • Published in United Kingdom

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Political debates and analysis

The Crude Times is under new management, again! After a record-breaking 242 days as editor of The Crude Times, Peter Walker failed to produce a single article however spent £11,123,231.01 in expenses. Walker has been fired effective today, and new

6

New Editor joins the Crude Times!

6 • Day 3,814, 18:57 • Published in United Kingdom

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Political debates and analysis

The Crude Times is under new management! After the previous editor was fired for gross negligence and incompetence, failing to produce any articles for months on end and never turning up at the office. As well as this the previous editor has been

7

Guess Who's Back

6 • Day 3,734, 12:59 • Published in United Kingdom

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Social interactions and entertainment

Everybody, yeah
Rock your body, yeah
Everybody, yeah
Rock your body right
Ray Crude's back, alright

Hey, yeah
Oh my God, we're back again
Brothers, sisters, everybody sing
Gonna bring the flavor, show you how
Gotta question for you better

6

Ray Crude Celebrates One Year in the eUK!

4 • Day 3,649, 00:01 • Published in United Kingdom

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Social interactions and entertainment

It's Ray Crude's Birthday! Yes, the iconic Congressman and former perennial candidate, Ray Crude has lived in the eUK for a year! Bring out the cake, balloons etc. as 'tis an occasion to celebrate! Comment below how you will be celebrating this