Join the new world

Day 5386
1. American Community Survey
2. World Press Bingo


In the last edition of Goodbye Blue Monday, country prez Paul Proteus announced that YOU can earn 50,000 genuine USD smackeroos just for sharing your opinion with him. The idea is to help generate some new ideas and maybe get some new people involved in the executive.


So here's the deal:

Fill out this survey: eAmerican Community Survey

If you fill out any question on this survey, the PP will send you 50,000 USD

Blow your horn. Share your opinion. Make a joyful noise. Get paid! It's All-American! Just do it! Now. What are you waiting for?







World Press Bingo


It's been a lazy late-Summer season here in the White House Gardens. On top of that, it's so bloody hot. And it seems like most of Kentucky is either on fire or getting washed away. Plus, we'd received a full shipment of that good 'shine from Cousin Dolly up the holler just before the floods hit, so. Well. Long story short. Not much's been gotten done last week or so here at "Media Headquarters".


Anyway. I was sittin' 'round one evenin', y'know, watchin' the fireflies, countin' the stars and such, plonking away on the ol' gittar trying to learn a bit of flamenco style, when it occurred to me that I hadn't taken a walk around the wacky wide world e-press lately. Thought maybe that would be fun. Or not. If you think the e-media is on a slow boil here in the e-USA, man, in some countries the publication of articles is literally slower than mud drying after your holler got drenched.

On the other hand, there's Spain. Hoo-boy.


So it occurred to me, after openin' up 'nother mason jar of Cousin Dolly's brew, mebbe I could make a sort of contest of this...




Here's the ridiculously subjective throughly scientific scoring system I came up with for ranking the e-World's Press, country by country...






For each article published in the last five days.

A. +2 points


For each article published in the last six to ten days.

B. +1 point




If the score is zero after Categories A and B, then that's that. Total is Zero.

Losers.





Otherwise. For each of those Category A or B articles that's in a language I can more or less read a few words in without having to use Google Translate. Meaning English, Castillian, French, Italian, Portuguese, Catalan, Romanian, German or Dutch. Then...

C. +1 point



Proceeding along with this rigrous approach... for each article that's received points so far...



If the headline is interesting enough for me to think about maybe opening it:

D. +2 points


If I actually opened it and it was interesting enough to (try to) read the damn thing and it was not a "Category G" (see below):

E. +3 points


If it really was interesting, hilarious, or so incredibly stupid that I nearly spilled my drink:

F. +5 points, or possibly more, depending on whether or not it made me think about starting to smoke again



But...




If it was one of those "I need comments" article. AND it provided no content other than "I need comments". (Yes, I am perfectly happy applying collective guilt to an entire e-nation for having such articles on their feed. That's what literary critics are for -- to be critical. Grrrr...)

G. -2 points


If its grammar or formatting was so atrocious that I nearly barfed...

H. -3 points


If it was apalling, tragic, horrible, or boring, or utterly derivative, or just a copypasta of real life news, or nonsense, or annoying, or content-free, or just an unexplained link, or sexist drivel, or some kind of junk that I didn't get.


I. -5 points, or possibly lower, or whatever


Finally, a special category for countries that have no published articles whatsoever.

J. -7 points.



The widgets for browsing through newspaper articles had me baffled at first. Whoever designed it no doubt gets regular deliveries from Cousin Dolly's moonshine supply. (Which delivers internationally by the way.) So I might've missed a few here and there. Through no fault of my own, being so drunk.


Then, after sobering up a bit, I discovered one can keep hitting that little "More News" button to see more of the "Recent" articles! I was still having a wee bit of trouble sitting up, seeing straight, counting, reading, staying awake, or caring a whole lot.


So. Yeah. I dit it. Scanned the entire fershluggener world press...












Wut?











Oh! Right. OK Here they are...


The WINNERS and the LOSERS!


The Roaring LIONS (or screeching MONKEYS?) and the barely-chirping CRICKETS of the e-International Media!!!





FIRST. A few Special Mentions need to be recognized...

Canada, for trying out so many ideas to get players involved in sh*t.
France, for having the wackiest elections and funniest attitude towards politics and politicians.
India, for political articles which are almost as funny as France's.
Japan, for the most fascinatingly literate media in the e-world.
Spain, for being a wonderfully raging sea of neverending drama.
Switzerland, for an utterly bonkers press that carries on in a quietly humorous way.



The Rankings!


TOP TEN MEDIA MARKETS, according to me

1. Spain: A(18 ) + B(5) + C(14) + D(26) + E(27) + F(15) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 105 points
2. USA: A(4) + B(5) + C(7) + D(14) + E(21) + F(20) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 71 points
3. Japan: A(12) + B(3) + C(9) + D(14) + E(12) + F(15) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 65 points
4. Canada: A(2) + B(9) + C(10) + D(16) + E(18 ) + F(10) + G(0) + H(0) + I(-2) = 63 points
5. Brazil: A(8 ) + B(3) + C(7) + D(8 ) + E(15) + F(10) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 51 points
6. Bulgaria: A(22) + B(5) + C(10) + D(6) + E(6) + F(0) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 49 points
7. Serbia: A(26) + B(4) + C(6) + D(10) + E(6) + F(5) + G(0) + H(0) + I(-17) = 40 points
8. Argentina: A(10) + B(7) + C(12) + D(4) + E(6) + F(0) + G(-6) + H(0) + I(0) = 33 points
9. Switzerland: A(8 ) + B(2) + C(6) + D(8 ) + E(9) + F(0) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 33 points
10. (tie) Germany: A(6) + B(2) + C(5) + D(4) + E(6) + F(5) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 28 points
10. (tie) Netherlands: A(4) + B(5) + C(7) + D(6) + E(6) + F(0) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 28 points


TOP TWENTY

11. Ireland: A(2) + B(2) + C(3) + D(4) + E(6) + F(10) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 27 points
12. Romania: A(6) + B(1) + C(4) + D(4) + E(6) + F(5) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 26 points
13. (tie) Chile: A(8 ) + B(4) + C(7) + D(8 ) + E(0) + F(5) + G(0) + H(0) + I(-8 ) = 24 points
13. (tie) France: A(0) + B(2) + C(2) + D(4) + E(6) + F(10) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 24 points
13. (tie) India: A(4) + B(0) + C(2) + D(4) + E(6) + F(8 ) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 24 points
13. (tie) Russia: A(12) + B(1) + C(1) + D(2) + E(3) + F(5) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 24 points
14. (tie) Italy: A(2) + B(1) + C(2) + D(4) + E(6) + F(8 ) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 23 points
14. (tie) Portugal: A(20) + B(12) + C(22) + D(28 ) + E(9) + F(2) + G(0) + H(0) + I(-70) = 23 points
15. South Africa: A(2) + B(1) + C(2) + D(4) + E(6) + F(5) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 20 points
16. Turkey: A(18 ) + B(6) + C(13) + D(2) + E(0) + F(0) + G(0) + H(0) + I(-20) = 19 points
17. Republic of Moldova: A(2) + B(1) + C(2) + D(4) + E(6) + F(5) + G(0) + H(0) + I(-2) = 18 points
18. Poland: A(8 ) + B(8 ) + C(0) + ... = 16 points
19. Iran: A(2) + B(1) + C(1) + D(2) + E(3) + F(5) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 14 points
20. (tie) Ukraine: A(2) + B(4) + C(3) + D(2) + E(3) + F(5) + G(0) + H(0) + I(-5) = 14 points
20. (tie) Cyprus: A(2) + B(0) + C(1) + D(2) + E(3) + F(5) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 13 points
20. (tie) Hungary: A(12) + B(2) + C(1) + D(0) + E(0) + F(0) + G(0) + H(0) + I(-2) = 13 points


TOP THIRTY

21. Peru: A(2) + B(1) + C(2) + D(2) + E(3) + F(0) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 10 points
22. (tie) Greece: A(6) + B(3) + C(0) + ... = 9 points
22. (tie) Republic of China (Taiwan): A(6) + B(3) + C(0) + ... = 9 points
23. (tie) Indonesia: A(2) + B(1) + C(1) + D(2) + E(6) + F(0) + G(0) + H(0) + I(-4) = 8 points
23. (tie) United Kingdom: A(2) + B(0) + C(1) + D(2) + E(3) + F(0) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 8 points
24. (tie) Armenia: A(0) + B(1) + C(1) + D(2) + E(3) + F(0) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 7 points
24. (tie) Lithuania: A(6) + B(1) + C(0) + ... = 7 points
24. (tie) Mexico: A(0) + B(1) + C(1) + D(2) + E(3) + F(0) + G(0) + H(0) + I(0) = 7 points
25. Estonia: A(6) + B(0) + C(0) + ... = 6 points
26. (tie) Belgium: A(0) + B(1) + C(1) + D(2) + E(0) + F(0) + G(0) + H(0) + I(-1) = 3 points
26. (tie) Finland: A(2) + B(1) + C(0) + ... = 3 points
27. (tie) Albania: A(0) + B(1) + C(1) + D(2) + E(0) + F(0) + G(-2) + H(0) + I(0) = 2 points
27. (tie) North Macedonia: A(2) + B(0) + C(0) + ... = 2 points
27. (tie) Sweden: A(0) + B(2) + C(0) + ... = 2 points
28. Croatia: A(0) + B(1) + ... = 1 point


OUT OF THE RUNNING, or maybe having the doldrums

Australia: A(0) + B(0) ... = 0 points
Austria: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Belarus: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Bosnia and Herzegovina: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
China: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Colombia: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Czechia: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Denmark: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Egypt: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Georgia: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Israel: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Latvia: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Malaysia: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Montenegro: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
New Zealand : A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Norway: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Pakistan: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Paraguay: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Saudi Arabia: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Slovakia: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Slovenia: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
South Korea: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Thailand : A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
United Arab Emirates: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points
Uruguay: A(0) + B(0) + ... = 0 points



SUSPECTED OF DOPING THEIR WRITERS

Bolivia: A(0) + B(0) + ... + J(-7) = -7 points
Cuba: A(0) + B(0) + ... + J(-7) = -7 points
Nigeria: A(0) + B(0) + ... + J(-7) = -7 points
North Korea: A(0) + B(0) + ... + J(-7) = -7 points
Philippines: A(0) + B(0) + ... + J(-7) = -7 points
Singapore: A(0) + B(0) + ... + J(-7) = -7 points









xoxoxo - The literary surf's up! Catch the wave -- write something!! -- PQ