Why you should not vote for Thanatos
Day 1,961, 16:17
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Published in Netherlands 
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by
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by PariahDog
"And there the children of dark Night have their dwellings, Sleep and Death, awful gods. The glowing Sun never looks upon them with his beams, neither as he goes up into heaven, nor as he comes down from heaven. And the former of them roams peacefully over the earth and the sea's broad back and is kindly to men; but the other has a heart of iron, and his spirit within him is pitiless as bronze: whomsoever of men he has once seized he holds fast: and he is hateful even to the deathless gods."
Yes, my dearest readers. You have read it here first. Thanatos, in Greek mythology (and therefore the truth), is the demonic personification of the most bothersome thing about life: death. It is as if his name just shouts "Death to the Netherlands!", which is a blasphemous phrase sending shivers down my spine even writing it in this very article!
Thanatos is feared, and rightly so. In the essence of his name, he is an even worse enemy than the pink threat. He is the red ring on our x-box, the blue screen on our windows machines prior to the elegant yet destructive puff of smoke shattering our hopes, dreams, and porn collections. Readers, be wary. Thanatos is a negative personification, one we should avoid lest all hope is inevitably destroyed come his presidency. Death is something we can not recover from, Polish suppression is!
Do not be swayed! Thanatos is not here to bring doom to our enemies, for death makes no distinction amongst us mortals. Do not vote for him, under any circumstance!
Witness testimonials have been collected impartially by yours truly. I am entirely impartial and will by no means tell you to vote for Auggustus (although, actually, do that, impartially speaking).
Our prime witness is a good old friend of mine: Freud. Being the blunt of many penis related jokes and weird feelings for his mother, he had already warned us for the human 'death drive', referred to as Thanatos. It is the drive that opens us up to risky and self-destructive behavior, which is a more than unfit nature for a president to portray. Despite being feverishly pink, I still cling to life as an unborn clings to its mothers umbilical cord. Although Thanatos would likely present it as a noose to end our already short lives on this virtual world of eRepublik.
It is best we present Thanatos as he is presented to us: hook his political career up to a Thanatron, euthanizing his short but heartfelt presidential campaign as he would do to us were he to be elected.
Also, he just doesn't have the balls to be our president.
Although he does have magnificent in his name. That has to count for something, right? Wrong. It's a ruse. Contrarily, Augustus is quite literally the founder of the Roman Empire. You know how huge and powerful that one was? And then come to think that our Auggustus has two g's in his name. And you know what that G (likely) stands for? Greatness, Godlyness, Gallous, Goodness, and Gifted.
I impolore you, make up your own mind on whom to vote for, as long as it is not Thanatos, and is Auggustus.
Disclaimer: There's really nothing to disclaim.
Yes, my dearest readers. You have read it here first. Thanatos, in Greek mythology (and therefore the truth), is the demonic personification of the most bothersome thing about life: death. It is as if his name just shouts "Death to the Netherlands!", which is a blasphemous phrase sending shivers down my spine even writing it in this very article!
Thanatos is feared, and rightly so. In the essence of his name, he is an even worse enemy than the pink threat. He is the red ring on our x-box, the blue screen on our windows machines prior to the elegant yet destructive puff of smoke shattering our hopes, dreams, and porn collections. Readers, be wary. Thanatos is a negative personification, one we should avoid lest all hope is inevitably destroyed come his presidency. Death is something we can not recover from, Polish suppression is!
Do not be swayed! Thanatos is not here to bring doom to our enemies, for death makes no distinction amongst us mortals. Do not vote for him, under any circumstance!
Witness testimonials have been collected impartially by yours truly. I am entirely impartial and will by no means tell you to vote for Auggustus (although, actually, do that, impartially speaking).
Our prime witness is a good old friend of mine: Freud. Being the blunt of many penis related jokes and weird feelings for his mother, he had already warned us for the human 'death drive', referred to as Thanatos. It is the drive that opens us up to risky and self-destructive behavior, which is a more than unfit nature for a president to portray. Despite being feverishly pink, I still cling to life as an unborn clings to its mothers umbilical cord. Although Thanatos would likely present it as a noose to end our already short lives on this virtual world of eRepublik.
It is best we present Thanatos as he is presented to us: hook his political career up to a Thanatron, euthanizing his short but heartfelt presidential campaign as he would do to us were he to be elected.
Also, he just doesn't have the balls to be our president.
Although he does have magnificent in his name. That has to count for something, right? Wrong. It's a ruse. Contrarily, Augustus is quite literally the founder of the Roman Empire. You know how huge and powerful that one was? And then come to think that our Auggustus has two g's in his name. And you know what that G (likely) stands for? Greatness, Godlyness, Gallous, Goodness, and Gifted.
I impolore you, make up your own mind on whom to vote for, as long as it is not Thanatos, and is Auggustus.
Disclaimer: There's really nothing to disclaim.
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Comments
Goofyness?
Let's not forget; http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/nieuwsbrief-mof-oktober-2012-2135399/1/20.
But doesn't he mean death to our enemies?
"... death makes no distinction amongst us mortals ...". No, i am afraid not, my friend. It will serve you well to stay away from such vile daemons (rea😛 vote for Auggustus), lest his dreadful gaze sets upon you making your last breath one of regret, and the rest of the eNetherlands along with it.
death to the non-beliebers
I believe this is an excellent analysis but has a few flaws:
For one, Thanatos, as our new CP, will surely mean death to our enemies, not to the Dutch people.
Second, Augustus is the same emperor who fought and killed many of our ancestors, including taking over the Netherlands.
Clearly these two points shed a different light on the subject.
I believe you are mistaken, but rest assured mistakes are made easily. Especially in situations as dire as this one. I have done my research well, and I can not possibly expect my readers to provide the time, care, and insight I do while informing the masses (disclaimer: 12 subscribers, out of which 1 is my mom. Hi mom). He surely provides death, but not death to our enemies. It is death to our political freedom, death to our society, and worst of all death to our very souls.
Stop the madness, vote for Magnificense!
"Thanatos: Much talk. Talking will win you nothing. All the same, the woman goes with me to Hades' house. I go to take her now, and dedicate her with my sword, for all whose hair is cut in consecration by this blade's edge are devoted to the gods below."
I take this quote from a most reputable source, Wikipedia.
Clearly Thanatos is going to take the Dutch people and devote them to the gods below. Only through this act will we be strong enough to overcome our Polish overlords and rise up to take what is ours. This is a sign of a new coming since we will now have the gods from down below by our side and nothing can stop them.
Can some one explain the meaning of this since I didn´t get this : ) ?
sure
[removed]
A well informed bird counts for ten in your hand. Or something. I think. How should I know what the meaning is. I only wrote it, nothing more.
Bullshit, but well written! Voted.
He actually has great talent in writing but the 2 latest issues have been really strange. Thats my personal opinion of course.
voted
Thanatos has been CP of Ireland before when I was a citizen. It was a reign of quiet competence an ability. He will be a good CP for Netherlands
In all honosty; I still find it very strange that when the state lost 2.5 million nlg by the hands of this Auggustus caracter, that same caracter made millions on that same monetary market for himself and his friends. You call that slander, I call that fishy!
It's not the same monetary market. The monetary market changes as much as you change underwear. Probably once or twice every 6 months.
The monetary market is messed up. You can see that right now. Items on the market carry no real value. Their values are largely the costs of the raw materials, and minor reimbursement for actually dumping gold in a factory.
Right now it costs 1230 gold to make a Q7 factory. You make 10 Q7 weapons with it. Each sells for ~7.15, so 75 NLG. Out of that 75 NLG, you need raws. It's 200 raws per weapon. Raws go for 0.03. So for 10 weapons, that's 2000*0.03 = 60 NLG. That leaves you with a profit of 15 NLG for 1 batch of weapons.
Currently it's ~231 NLG for 1 gold. That means it takes you 231/15 = 15.4 days to recover 1 gold. We need 1230 gold to break even. 1230*15.4 = 18942 days. There are about ~365 days in a year. 18942/365 = 51.9 years of non-stop working to BREAK EVEN.
This means the economy is broken, and because of this broken economy the market plummeted. This is entirely unpredictable, depending on the whim of the developers. Trying to preserve the value of your gold/currency is a pure gamble.
So you are trying to blame Auggustus for a mistake the developers of this game made?
No, I do not find it fishy, Reinier. I find it nonsensical.