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WHPR 1798 - Dr Luis Makes Diplomacy Sexy

Day 1,798, 02:00 Published in USA USA by James S. Brady Press Room
White House Press Room - Day 1798 - Dr Luis Makes Diplomacy Sexy

Chairman of the Board Henry Pfeiffer Arundel and Secretary of State Dr Luis discuss the finer points of foreign relations.

Dateline: Monday, October 22, 2012 (Day 1,798)
Location: James S. Brady Press Room, The White House

Today’s WHPR:
Music: The Rat Pack Live - Dean Martin - 1965
1. Dr Luis Makes Diplomacy Sexy
2. Today's War Map and Analysis
3. Political Party Quiz Show Update
4: Op-Ed: Much Ado About Nothing
eNPR: Schedule and Links

Editor's Notes: Co-SecMed Custer is today's Lead Editor.
Press Corps Staff Writer NewAzazel and Hale26 round out the program.

Dr Luis Makes Diplomacy Sexy
Press Corps Staff Writer NewAzazel

Dr Luis endures endless, dull, boring meetings with dull boring people.. I just don't know how he does it.

So much focus is given to our domestic political scene that it often overshadows something equally as important: our country’s foreign relations and alliances. I sat down with Dr Luis Sentieiro, our Secretary of State (or Minister of Foreign Affairs), to help me summarize and expand upon our country's current dealings around the world. This should be as important to you as our domestic affairs because it determines the external factors that could harm or help our nation.

Obviously one of the top stories right now is the state of CTRL and our relations with Poland. The United States is not pleased that Poland has kept its alliance with Hungary, and we have invaded Austria to give us a border with that nation. A clear point to make is that we will not be attacking Hungary. We are currently in talks and conversation with Poland, a country we value as an ally and a key member of CTRL. Extending from this, we wish to keep this experiment going and see CTRL become a successful alliance. We desire our relations with Brazil, Spain, and Poland to continue being prosperous.

We’ve also been patching up things and warming up in other areas. Our relations with France and Croatia have dramatically improved, and we are working to see that they will remain our friends and allies. Our relations are also improving with UK. We also continue to hold alliances and good relations with countries like China, Ireland, and Argentina.

Another important country is Russia. Russia recently went through some trouble with a civil war and political unrest. Despite this, the United States continues to see Russia as a close friend and ally. It is important to maintain friends and allies, even if they are not members of CTRL. We hope to maintain and continue improving these relationships.

Editor's Note: For more on this topic, see [CTRL]Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Foreign relations are important. They are just as important as Party politics and domestic affairs. It is due to the work of Dr Luis Sentieiro and the State Department that we are able to maintain good relations with our allies, and even convince former foes to our side. We are also working with other nations to collaborate and assist in ATO efforts in the eUS.
I know that all members are dedicated to this country’s well-being, and if you wish to contribute, you should apply to be an eUS Ambassador. I recently applied to better serve our nation, and you can do the same.

Today's War Map and Analysis
Press Corps Staff Battle Analyst Hale26

First order of business- We defeated Austria..sorta.
America managed to win all of it's 4 battles against Austria recently, as expected (Austria isn't a very worthy opponent, to say the least.) Strangely enough, Austria is STILL on the map even though our NE is done. This, however, was thanks to the Slovakian retreat (?) from Lower Austria. Now, this might be for a few reasons..
1. Hungary currently has us fighting on 5 fronts (2 of them NE's) if they declare war. However, if Austria is given 1 territory, Hungary can blast us with at least 3 NEs (6 fronts). Would an extra Austrian NE be deadly ?
Would it annoy the f**k out of us and possibly recreate a "VoM" accident from our little rumble with Indo awhile ago ?
2. To give Austria land for the upcoming Congress elections. You see, Hungary and Slovakia are much more dangerous if we were to go to war with the Hungarian Coalition (as we shall refer to all Hungarian bros and Hungary). So Austria would most likely walk away un-scratched if a whole fight broke out between America and HC (Hungarian Coalition).
3. To give me something to write about since they know I get bored being stuck in WHPR's basement tied to a chair 😃 !
...Er..I mean.. nothing, Custer... just finding more "news" to report !

Second order of business, I'm sure you all know that we are giving back all of our French holdings, including Aquitaine. This is because France is of no strategic value to us right now, and we're trying to get better relations with the nation. And it wouldn't hurt if they could have some more Congress seats :3.

So that should be all for our report on America's wars. But quick disclaimer-
I'm writing as if war with HC will happen. But currently, there is no concise evidence of this happening or being planned in my hands. I'm only writing this way because Hungary is an enemy nation, so all options must be looked into.

6 Top War News Headers From Around the Worldz.
• Romanian Forces have been defeated in Sumatra, meaning that Romania has lost it's last territory in Oceania. Romania is now wiped, and will possibly have the break it's agreement with Bulgaria.
• Slovenia NEs Swiss to fight off Congress PTO.
• The hounds of war are released in the Baltics- Sweden NEs Latvia, Belarus NEs Lithuania and Estonia captures Southern Finland.
• Italy defeated in Battle of Apulia- Macedonian Empire back to 7 bonuses.
• Colombia soon to be wiped- Spain approaches Oceanian Coast.
• Turkey almost wipes EDEN Brother Iran. Iran signs MPP with Poland.

Oh, and..
Hungary just got 1 less front to fight on.

Super Soldiers vs Special Snowflakes

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SecMed George Armstrong Custer will welcome the first two teams, the AMP and the Feds, to the premier Super Soldiers vs Special Snowflakes show this Thursday night at 1700hrs (8pm East, 5pm West).

Date: Thursday Oct 25
Time: 1700hrs; 8pm Eastern Time
Topics: Mix of RL questions and eRep questions
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Readers are asked to compose questions that may be asked of the individual Parties as well as to all Parties in the "lightning round."
Please think about what questions you'd like asked and make notes.
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Much Ado About Nothing
Op-Ed; George Armstrong Custer

No, it ain't Shakespeare.

The past few days have seen massive hysteria in the media in response to some mildly irritating actions and statements by various leaders, both at home and abroad. While the media module could certainly stand a shot in the arm, this flurry of tabloid level crap is not it.

America has a President long known for his less-than-tactful manner-- no news there. So as a matter of daily business, he makes a Proposal for Alliance with Brazil.. Dr Luis and others have been working toward this as part of the whole CTRL thing for a long time, and now it's time for the Alliance Proposal. But in classic Pfeiffer style, he tacks on a funny-not-funny animated gif where you'd click to see the Debate/Discussion. I say "funny-not-funny" because this little ditty had been passed around-- by Brazilians, he got it from one-- and everyone thought it was funny. Until a sitting President posts it. Now it's the world-ending most offensive socially unacceptable thing in the world.
And so follows a round of news articles. Every mother's son with a belly button and a keyboard has something to say about it-- mostly calling for Pfeiffer's head on a spike. Pfeiffer apologized, but apparently lacking the mud-groveling sincerity some people wanted. Brazil answered with articles, as well, then put the cherry on top by setting a Proposal of Embargo against the USA. And an AFA Congressman set an Impeachment Proposal.

Now, set that pile of yellow sheets aside for a second, and examine another.

New Citizens, whether moving from another country or starting their game, automatically get a New Citizen Message (NCM) and five bucks, to welcome them and set them on the path to fame, glory and riches that we all enjoy in this lovely game. Every Country President composes one, usually at the beginning of their term, to sort of give these new citizens a feel for their new country. President Pfeiffer, finally fed up with the AFA's constant and consistent blatant actions against this country and government, composed and Proposed a new NCM... directly naming the AFA as an enemy force in our country and warning new citizens to stay away from them.
AFA's Party President Hanibal LA responded with another extortion-slash-threat, again saying that he would instruct his Congressmen to stop making rogue Proposals and granting illegal citizenships to more enemies.. if the US Government would just lay off and leave his poor innocent Party alone. But of course this new NCM is the last straw, and now it's "all out war on the US."
Post-Script: The AFA has changed their Party name to "Party of Common Sense"
Has something to do with putting lipstick on a pig.

The weekend also brought us another newsworthy item which was blown up and dragged around like a paper bag of sh*t on fire.
There was some diplomatic and military hardballing between Poland and the US. Both agreed to not MPP with Balkan nations, that's supposed to be the key to this new alliance. Poland is reluctant to let go of their MPPs with Serbia and Hungary, so the USA renewed its MPP with old friends Croatia, then advanced through Austria to provoke Hungary or Poland to jump. So of course the media is full of crazy twists to this basically simple scenario. CTRL is a new concept in alliances-- it'll take time to work out. It won't be smooth or easy, and, hell-- it might not even work out. Time will tell.

Okay.. remember, dear readers, this is an Op-Ed piece. Just a reminder.

I'm callin' BULLSH*T.
All around. Everyone. From the people who make bone-headded moves, to the people who over-react, to the writers who fan the flames, to the readers and Commenters who feed on it all.
Including myself.
My freaking God, people-- didn't you just feel your IQ levels drop a dozen or so points over the weekend, just reading and being drawn into all this totally unnecessary CRAP?
Is this what we have newspapers for? Understandably, we can't all write like Phoenix Quinn-- hell, most of us can barely understand him.. But do we have to go in completely the other direction? Is this what we have become?
I'm not saying these are not important topics, or that we shouldn't be writing about them and expressing ourselves in those articles' Comments. I'm saying that intelligent discourse has become increasingly, and discouragingly, "few and far between."

I am ashamed and embarrassed of you, and of myself.
We are the lowest common denominator.

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George Armstrong Custer, WHPR Editor
"Liberty can not be preserved without general knowledge among people." ~~John Adams, August 1765

Look for new editions of WHPR on Wednesday and Friday.

::: Shout It! :::

WHPR 1798 - Dr Luis Makes Diplomacy Sexy
Plus another FLAMING Op-Ed




James S. Brady Press Room
James S. Brady Press Room Day 1,798, 02:02

It ain't Shakespeare.

GregoryG Day 1,798, 02:57

"Both agreed to not MPP with BALTIC nations, that's supposed to be the key to this new alliance."

You probably meant Balkan.

George Armstrong Custer
George Armstrong Custer Day 1,798, 02:57

right. Balkan. thanks for the correction.

Dacicus Maximus
Dacicus Maximus Day 1,798, 03:08

Hungary isnt a Balkan nation -.- Balkan nations live in Balkan-peninsula.

Also you are cowards.

ChewChewShoe Day 1,798, 03:11

>mfw Slovenia retreats from Lower Austria instead of Upper Austria which cuts their fruit bonus

The-Comedian Day 1,798, 03:33


Makedonissa Day 1,798, 03:36

I guess Albania is not a Balkan country anymore then...
Great geography teachers you have there ; )

Fettis Day 1,798, 03:47

Good article! 🙂

Helldarr Day 1,798, 03:48

to make it short

Stop criticizing us - we are to great for that.
Our POTUS can do whatever he wants because ... well because he does.

Dacicus Maximus
Dacicus Maximus Day 1,798, 03:59

Albans are caucasians and muslims.

Jimmy Cincinnati
Jimmy Cincinnati Day 1,798, 04:18

Nice work. Thanks for the interesting work.

Tim_Holtz Day 1,798, 04:43

just on a side note, Hungary isnt technically in the balkans but you have your pathetic RL nationalism against Romania so from everyones perspective you are just as pathetic

Drew Blood
Drew Blood Day 1,798, 04:46

gee whiz...still fighting in the any one surprised...? Fluffer isn't just an a**h*** he is a two faced liar ...points his finger at citizens and accuses them of doing exactly what he is doing...he has been banned for multi use, yet belittles others who do the same...he pushes the report button on anyone who disagrees with him...whether that gif was funny or not isn't the question...I don't want a President who is so immature he would even consider doing something so idiotic...

Drew Blood
Drew Blood Day 1,798, 04:51

Then in a classic Israel Stevens fashion he blames the Brazilians for not 'getting the joke'...ofc he was the one who has hand pick the last dozen or so USWP Presidents all of whom have been complete and utter failures...

fingerguns Day 1,798, 06:13

Poor Ichabod. My heart breaks for your life.

Helldarr Day 1,798, 06:28

"(1) because this little ditty had been passed around-- by Brazilians, he got it from one-- and (2) everyone thought it was funny"

Rumors without any evidence.
Everyone? Really? where? in KKK?

Derphoof Day 1,798, 07:35

Good article guys! Always nice to get an update on what's going on down south.

Naufragiatu Day 1,798, 07:44

eRomania has no agreement with eBulgaria. Where do you get your intel from?

mda1994 Day 1,798, 08:25


I lol'd...

Rico Mc.Rico
Rico Mc.Rico Day 1,798, 08:33

❤ Fingerguns! (:

Arrden Day 1,798, 09:32

I like turtles

BeachBunny Day 1,798, 10:11


LordRahl2 Day 1,798, 10:20

Requesting job as ambassador to Serbia.

Suzuki Ryosuke
Suzuki Ryosuke Day 1,798, 12:19

Same elitist CRAP as always!!!


5440 Day 1,798, 12:23

stop pretending like we care about Austria

George Armstrong Custer
George Armstrong Custer Day 1,798, 12:49

PROFHTHS: "Same elitist CRAP as always!!!"
care to elaborate beyond your standard "poor baby me, I'm such an outsider **wah! wah!**" bumper sticker bullsh*t?
exactly what content of this edition is "elitist crap"?
the SecState's report?
the War Map and Analysis?
the Op-Ed that calls you on your bullsh*t as a sh*t flinging antagonizer?
agree or disagree, like or dislike, sure, but where's the "elitist" aspect of any of it?
or is that just where your mindless crybaby broken record is stuck?

Hanibal LA
Hanibal LA Day 1,798, 13:08


read, vote and shout pls

Hale26 Day 1,798, 13:31

@ All "so and so aren't in Balkans"
Firstly, thank you for reading WHPR.
Secondly, can you name every major lake in Canada? All the 50 States of the Union?
No ?
And let me tell you why- It is unpractical for someone from a Balkan or surrounding nation to know these things. So why do we not know your geography ?
Because we're hundreds of miles away from you -.-
In summary- read the article, talk about it, but don't nit-pick things that do not matter to Americans in RL.

Norbengo Day 1,798, 14:00

""President Pfeiffer, finally fed up with the AFA's constant and consistent blatant actions against this country and government, composed and Proposed a new NCM... """

How about you stop kissing Pfeiffers butt for once and say what really happened?

Our POTUS was just a butthurt about latest impeachment, proposed by AFA congressman. Thats all. xD

Makedonissa Day 1,798, 14:30

I can name all states of the US, yes. The fact that you are uneducated, doesnt mean that the whole world is uneducated too. Get off that big green horse of yours, the sooner the better ; )
It is not practical or in-practical (not even your own language?), it is the basics.
Besides that, when your officials design their foreign policy, the least they can do is know what countries are where in this world. So when they say Balkans, they must mean Balkans. All of them ; )

Iamnameless Day 1,798, 14:40

Sure, who *can* write like PQ? But the WHPR's been good lately, very informative.

George Armstrong Custer
George Armstrong Custer Day 1,798, 14:42

Norbengo... you obviously don't know me, or bother to actually read what I write. "official government newspaper" or not, I kiss no one's ass.
what really happened? that NCM had been in the works for days before being Proposed. it was going to happen anyways, when it was ready to rock, with or without the rogue Impeachment Proposal or any other act of ignorance by the AFA (now PCS). the NCM is a team effort, not simply some crap that rolls off the President's fingertips alone.

Candor Day 1,798, 15:40

Read it, some great information!

Also frankly far too much opinion for the WHPR. I prefer a professional release to opinion, I can get opinions anywhere.

Loves and hugs!

Rawtheran Day 1,798, 15:41

I say no to giving the french more congress seats becasue their just going to help the stupid PTO'ers. Next, I'd say that we should aviod war with Hungary and try to smooth over relations with them that way we have a good stable balance, and CTRL can have a successful start.

Norbengo Day 1,798, 15:52

""what really happened? that NCM had been in the works for days before being Proposed.""

So it took you days of thinking and a team work to write a couple of sentences? And at the and it looks like it was written by a ten year old?

No wonder you ppl just keep losing battles....

Nalaja Day 1,798, 16:05

@Tim_Holtz: "you have your pathetic RL nationalism against Romania so from everyones perspective you are just as pathetic" - yes, Hungary and Romania has several disputes and wrong feelings to each other RL. That's a pity. However, it is funny to hear from an American that *we* have 'pathetic nationalism' against Romania - after *you* (together with your allies, UK, FR and IT after WWI; UK, FR and the Soviets after WWII) forced Hungary to cede Hungarian-inhabited regions after two world wars.

Nalaja Day 1,798, 16:09

Nowadays, I mean RL, there are cca. 1.5M ethnic Hungarians in Romania and cca. 20k ethnic Romanians in Hungary - they are not migrants, all natives (before WWI, it was the opposite - another source of tension ofc). Quite a basis of some bad feelings? Quite a barrier for normalizing our relations? Wilson's theory, bah

Kaptain Kidd
Kaptain Kidd Day 1,798, 17:08

I feel perfectly comfortable with my IQ level. The fact I can report facts and tell the truth but still keep it entertaining enough for the average reader is fine by me.

AttilaFlagellumDei Day 1,798, 23:26

hale26, pardon me, but major lakes in canada are nowhere near historical european regions on the relevance scale. US states on the other hand are, and i may not be able to name all 50, but i would come pretty close i think, and you can name me any of them, and i would be able to tell you if they're locate in the american northeast, midwest, south etc. and i don't believe i'm the only european who would be able to do so.

it is "unpractical" to know certain things? :frown:

AttilaFlagellumDei Day 1,798, 23:29

please, stop acting as if you are the measure of all things. you are NOT.

vasmegye Day 1,798, 23:47

Tim_Holtz +1

AttilaFlagellumDei Day 1,798, 23:56

vasmegye -1

mobra Day 1,799, 01:32

"I'm writing as if war with HC will happen. But currently, there is no concise evidence of this happening or being planned in my hands. I'm only writing this way because Hungary is an enemy nation, so all options must be looked into."


WTF, you came to our borders just to make a visit in the alps? Who's that jackess who belives this bullshit?

Suzuki Ryosuke Day 1,799, 01:57

Comment deleted

fingerguns Day 1,799, 12:03

"Especially your war map analysis sucks more than fingerholes under Fluffy's office!!! "

Like I am buried under his office? Or my office is under his?

I agree that it sucks. I should be on top.

Rico Mc.Rico
Rico Mc.Rico Day 1,799, 14:11

Lol, I love PROFHTHS comments. They are highly instructive.

Fingerguns you should really be. (:

Hale26 Day 1,799, 19:40

@mobra, You never know what could happen. We might get good diplomatic ties with Poland and be forced not to attack Hungary, or Russia could demand that we don't NE you guys..etc.
Best to account for everything ^.^
@Attila, Suppose you're right mate. Europe is a..complex, continent to say the least. Still, Americans are usually not taught European geo in our schools. Probably because America was made on anti-European concepts and what not.
Thanks for the insight.

Suzuki Ryosuke Day 1,800, 02:26

Comment deleted

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