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Weekend Here I Come...

Day 1,837, 12:05 Published in USA Canada by Lansizzle

Some news sources are trying to clean up their act and report only unbiased material on important subjects in their paper. The Daily Sizzle will not stand for such nonsense and will only report completely biased information about less than relevant subjects. Now onto the news...

How good are weekends? It is my favorite time of the week. I love them. There I said it. I love weekends. They are so "relaxing". Let me tell you why...

Saturday usually looks like this: Up early to catch the Premier League game of the week, if I can (not likely). Then it's mow the lawn, rake the leaves, do some laundry, play with the kids, go over to mom's to help her, fix up the house, shop for whatever, usually more laundry, cook, clean up, pass out in bed due to exhaustion. Quite relaxing!

My Saturday's are usually packed full of things to do, but my Sunday's are amazing.

A typical Sunday involves me getting up a bit later than normal, heading off to play soccer with some of my friends, then heading home for lunch. That's when the magic happens... A horn goes off in my head at 11:55am... Duh-duh-da-da-daaaaaa!!!! To the couch! I spend the entire rest of my day living vicariously through my fantasy football team. I love the Red Zone Channel. Almost as much as my family! Think about it... Where else can you get so much entertainment value at such a steep cost??? It is great! If I could, I would clone it, mass produce it, and deliver it for free to everyone around the world so that no one can ever again be deprived of the awesomeness that is the Red Zone Channel. It is my second guilty pleasure. I wouldn't know what to do with my Sunday without it. It is always there for me (for 17 weeks anyway). It isn't judgmental. And it never disappoints. It even helps get me out of stuff sometimes, like dinner or cleaning up.


Wife: Hey could you help me with dinner?
Me: In a minute babe, the Dolphins and the Broncos both just hit the Red Zone and I have Reggie...
Wife: I know, I know. Reggie Bush and Demaryius Thomas.
Me: Don't forget Matt Prater!
Wife: Nevermind...

However, I am becoming worried as I find myself increasingly screaming at the television for random reasons. "Palmer... Why won't you throw the ball to Moore??? You're an idiot!" or "Come on Crennel... Jamaal Charles is killing them and you keep letting that shitty QB sling it around? What are you thinking???"

While I realize that all of this sounds unbelievably ridiculous and childish, that is because it is. I'm an absolute nut-job for a few hours each week, in an effort to win like $200. Whoa Crazy Crazy!

As the evening winds down, Dexter and Homeland wrap up, my kids head off to bed, and I get my stuff gathered together for the morning, I can't help but think about my weekend... "Dammit, if I would have just played Torrey Smith instead of Anquan Boldin, my team might have won. I'm an idiot. Over thinking it again, dumbass! I'm down 5, and now I have to rely on my TE on Monday, and he has sucked for the past 4 weeks. I'm screwed!"

The week starts over again and it's back to the daily grind. I can't complain though, because at least my weekend was "relaxing". I swear!




Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Day 1,837, 12:07

LOL have a great weekend!

Lansizzle Day 1,837, 12:19

I will. You do the same!

Ronald Gipper Reagan
Ronald Gipper Reagan Day 1,837, 12:29

Homeland is boring

Lansizzle Day 1,837, 12:47

Not when you lived it. I did.

Stay douchey RGR!

Your Loving Mother
Your Loving Mother Day 1,837, 16:54

Homeland is AWESOME!
This paper is nice too.

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