Thus Linked the Speaker

Day 3,216, 13:43 Published in USA USA by eUSA Congress

Dear eUSA,

Hey there.

Just so you know, I've been keeping busy as Speaker of the House. You should try it some time. It's loads of fun. "Prove it" you say?

Gosh where to start?

I mean, there's this one dude named Chickensguys who played the game back in the day and caused all sorts of problems. He was a big part of Ajay's near success which means he spent a lot of time and energy trying to PTO these eUnited States of America and place it into the hands of our enemies lock, stock, and barrel.

And in case you've forgotten, here is a list of just some of his misdeeds.

Anyway, this is the Speaker of the House's newspaper, not the some publication of the National Historical Society (though that sounds like an excellent idea for a new Government program and maybe I should try to become the Director of that too.) Right. So this isn't just a history lesson.

Ya see, this chickensguys fellow keeps badgering congresspeople by sending mass PM's asking for him to be reinstated with Citizenship (for starters).

Well, now we are getting around to Congressy stuff.

So before I say any more about this chickensguys business, let me just set the stage of how very busy I am as Speaker of the House. Here's a list of important things I gotta keep my VIP eyes on:

Dudes are all, like, crucify heretics.
Major fixes to the Constitution.
Some other dudes are all, like, no way man, heresy is MANDATORY.
There's this one guy still using IRC.

Not to mention sooper seekrit Private Congress stuff that I can't talk about unless you've already seen what's going on ingame. Y'know?

Like I was saying, busy busy busy.

But when stuff like this chickensguys thing starts really going down in a major way that involves opinions from members of Congress both esteemed and ignorant, boy oh boy you bet I get busy.

Speaker's gotta speak.

If Speak I must, Speak I will.

No way Hose-ay chickensguys.

(Did I mention that he's banned from the Forum for multiple violations of its terms of service, one of a small handful of citizens to be permanently blacklisted, and, like, has basically worn out even most of the people who actually liked him unless they are roleplaying that they still like him like Wild Owl does?)

There. I Spoke.

And I just wanted to keep you all in the loop. Have a nice day.

This is the Speaker of the House, Gnilraps, signing off.