The new overlord of Norway
After walking around in shame with the defeat of crabby sweden in the back of my head, I started to walk to the parlament building because I had something to get of my chest ( no pun intended). But to my surprise I found the whole building empty, strange right. I did not find one soul in the whole building, the only thing I found was a desk with a name tag that said Ms.Carmen and a half eaten box of tampons.
Ok, where is our government I asked to myself, they are clearly not where they should be I thought. But then a stream of light hit my ol noggin “That means that I can be the supreme overlord of NORWAY” And you know what....
This is my official statement to proclaim my throne.
Yeah you heard me... You are all now my subordinates, and you shall all bow down to me.
The eNorwegian monarchy has now been established and will (according to plan) last for several centuries.
I know that some of you will say that I’m not the real president/overlord of Norway, but hey.... If Carmen can be the president with the kind of activity she produces then I could be 5-hundred presidents. Correct me if I’m wrong but shouldn’t the power be with the person/persons that wants the best and brightest for our great Nation? If you don’t think that, then you are more then welcome to still listen to what Ms Carmen has to proclaim... Oh wait you say, she does NOTHING you say.... Strange?
So to all the foreign leaders of the world:
Now you can address yourself to me or one of the fine specimen that you can find in my hand picked government.
Vice overlord is of course my dear cousin : Andreas Moe
That means that he is like me, but he isn’t me, he is the second me. He is like the guy that got the silver medal if you catch my drift. If you don’t catch my drift you can go and eat a box of tampons because clearly you are retarded.
The minister of fang fishing is : Morten Asphaug
If this position isn’t self explainable, you should go and see a doctor
The minister of religion is : “ The dark prince himself” Henrich 1
This positions has the responsibilities of seeing that people is enlightened with religion and to give people that have received forfeit points a free hug
The Grim Reaper is : Karl Reverud
This position has the responsibilities of seeing that the dead of Norway is treated with respect.
Minister of Information is: Gladun
This position is given the responsibilities of seeing that the people is well informed on the state of the nation. This includes: What the government is doing. How the war is going. And how YOU can help the nation. Information is worth more then gold in the situation we are in, so if you feel like you can provide some help for him, please don't hesitate to ask.
Minister of Defense is: Tommy Skaue
This position is given the responsibilities of seeing that our armed forced know where and when to attack. He is also in charge of organizing our forces, so that we can preform better, and more Rape Potato, like. Know this, people of Norway, that Tommy is to be looked upon as your war chief. Treat him with respect and discipline
Minister of Offense is: Taulen
This position is given the responsibilities of seeing that our offense is the best as it can be. He will also share the responsibility with Tommy to get our army organized. Taulen should also be looked upon as your war chief. So treat him with respect!
Minister of foreign relations is: Sir Greggory Groda
This position is given the responsibilities of seeing that our allies knows that we are alive. He will be representing our great nation when foreign leaders wants to talk to us. He will of course need allot of ambassadors, so if you want to contribute, let him know.
I’m still looking for people to put in this awesome coalition, so if you feel you have something to add to the crew, don’t be afraid to ask
And to the people that don’t think that this is a legit overthrowing of the old government, I have only this to say: I did it first so, HA!, Sucks to be you. You did all have your chance, but I guess you where all waiting for Scorpicus to do it, am I right?
But yeah.... You will now have to answer to me, I’m am the overlord of Norway and you WILL bow down before my command.
And my first official business is:
FREE HUGZ FOR YOU ALL ( if you are swedish you won’t get one, I’m just saying)
My second official business statement is:
Yeah this is for real. I might not be as inactive as MS Carmen was, but if she can eat half a box of tampons, I can promise you that I will eat the WHOLE box. The challenge will be tremendously great for anyone stepping up to fill these high heels that Ms Carmen has left us but we can at least try. I know that you are afraid of the future, and I know that you are afraid of me, but don’t you worry, this is one Rape Potato that won’t rape you ( as much sweden is anyway)...
My third business statement is addressed to Eden:
I know that Ms Carmen is the allege leader of this fine Alliance, but you need to understand something here. WE ARE IN THE ALLIANCE, and if the so called leader of this alliance can’t save us from sweden, then who can? We have done nothing but waiting and waiting for you to give us some reassurance that we are not forgotten, and please don’t misunderstand me, we still love this alliance, but to have the leader treat us like this just sends me to “ pissedOfVania”. If you have priorities that comes before our liberation, don’t worry we would understand, but why don’t you tell us about it. I can’t remember the last time i heard a statement come from Ms Carmen or the government ( that by the way, she hand picked ), so to wrap this up i will just say that we are not impressed.
I love the Alliance, but if she leads this alliance the way she is leading Norway we are in a whole lotta trouble, and that the alliance still is in order just seems to amaze me.
The biggest treat to Norway is still sweden, and as your overlord i will work my ass off to see that we won’t lose any more regions, and that’s a promise you can take to the bank mister. It’s a real shame to experience what sweden has become over the time, they used to be at least close to awesome, but now they are just awful. You can’t even call them people, they are crab people. What their ultimate goal is, are unfortunately to destroy us. They are not happy with just taking our land, they will not stop until our community is completely dead. What they will gain from it is just a feeling of crabby enjoyment since we didn’t want to join their “union” in real life either. It’s also i kind of revenge since they have to work as banana peelers and flip our burgers in real life. Well subordinates of Norway, things might seem dark, but i can see light in the end of the tunnel. sweden will soon and surely fall to the ground, and when they are down there, a free hug from us will seam like a gift from god. Because we are Norwegian, and thus awesome, we might consider to forgive them in the future. BUT that means that they must stop acting like crabs against us, and giving back our land will be a great start. Remember sweden, you might gain back our capital letter if you start acting like humans.
“You can,t make yourself happy by causing other peoples misery “
Says the Almighty King
I will also use this opportunity to announce that the house of noblemen here in Norway has finally come. You can’t be overlord of Norway without having Noblemen around you, silly.
From right to left, Andreas Moe, Zephid, Kong Christopher I “the great” of eNorway, Henrich 1, bluecephalopod
They will have the up most important role in shaping this fine nation, because as we all know, noblemen are active, honest, rich, and isenkram respecting people. No sir, they are not crabs at all.
The noblemen will receive a higher status then the rest of you, simply because they are more awesome. This is not a communist country, so people are bound to be treated differently, (Mickbane must be rolling in his Irish grave). The noblemen will also have the privilege to kiss my ring ( no pun indented), and that might be the deal breaker, am i right or am i right.
The nobility of Norway can and will only be chosen by me.
If any crabs acts out of their own will, and proclaim nobility, they will be banished form my court for ever. They might never see any higher social status then crabs, and if greeted upon by one, the proper response will be to spit on them.
And it is with honor that the first nobleman of Norway to be: Andreas Moe.
Huzzah for Andreas.
He has served this fine nation for ages. He has bleed, he has donated and he has worshiped me. But i think we can all say that he deserves is after what he did here:
And for these reasons you are hereby the first and most noble nobleman.
Hip, Hip Huzzah for Andreas Moe. Know that all of Norway is chanting your name.
I guess this will be all for now, but don’t expect it will be the last.
Free hugs (except to the swedes) from you new and sexy overlord
“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.” - Christopher Moe
“A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." - Christopher Moe
“Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.” - Christopher Moe
“ People always try to do the right thing..after they've tried everything else.” - Christopher Moe