THE HOLY CRUSADE: JERUSALEM TO BE LIBERATED!

Day 4,782, 16:06 Published in USA USA by The Pony Express
THE HOLY CRUSADE: JERUSALEM TO BE LIBERATED!

By Wanker Bath

Today, our glorious President and Dioist spiritual leader, Chickensguys launched his plan to liberate Jerusalem for Christmas. As is well established for years, Dioist’s making the fateful pilgrimage to the Holy City have been refused entry. Local authorities cite so-called heretical beliefs.

Full remission of past sins, including the mortal sin of not voting for the President will be forgiven if at least four rounds of full participation are enacted. We need all holy warriors of Dio on the battlefield if we are to retake our holy city!

When asked for comment, Secretary of Defense ZRTX stated, "We will ring fury upon the infidels who have long kept our holy people out of our rightful land. I encourage all Dioists to be prepared to martyr themselves for the cause!"

Will this be the beginning of the formation of a Dioist empire to span the globe? Join the Crusade! Allow our Pontiff to absolve your sins!