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The 300 - Prepare for Glory!

Day 141, 15:38 • Published in Pakistan

• by Dio Brando

(The last article is bugged and unreadable by some, post comments here instead)

Pakistanians, our time has finally come. It's time to organize an army. I, Dio, will personally lead you in my mortal form.

I will gather 300 of Pakistans fine warriors to serve as my personal guard. If you want to sign up, post a reply here, offering yourself to me. If you just want to comment, post in the press release instead

Requirements:
* Total devotion
* A strength level of 4 or more
* Subscribtion to this newspaper

So, Pakis, answer me once again: What is your profession?

Comments

GnolTac Day 141, 15:41

HOLY PENIS WHAT A TWEEEST

Altnabla Day 141, 15:43

IMMA IN

Guybrush Threepwood Day 141, 15:46

YARR!

SandNigra Day 141, 15:53

PEACE!

PakiDERP Day 141, 15:56

THIS IS SO EPIC IT\'S ONE OF THOSE TIMES WHERE CAPS ARE MANDATORY.

I MEAN, OTHER THAN ALWAYS.

rob Day 141, 15:59

OH GOD
I, ROB, HUMBLE SAND-DWELLER OF QUETTA, OFFER MYSELF ENTIRELY TO YOU, GOD-EMPEROR DIO BRANDO. MAY I SERVE YOU WELL IN THE FIELD OF BATTLE.

AgentChieftain Day 141, 16:00

MY LORD, I HAVE ARRIVED WITH 5.0+ STRENGTH.

LOOK AT THESE BULGING BICEPS, GODDAMN

Allan Gordon Day 141, 16:08

WITH MY STRENGTH LEVEL OF 5.62 I PLEDGE MY SELF TO YOU, THE GOD EMPEROR DIO.

Mussla Day 141, 16:12

YES i offer myself to LORD DIO
nice strength of 5.49

Parsley Magnet Day 141, 16:16

SIGN ME UP

Rock Mongler Day 141, 16:23

I wish to join, for glory! 4.66 STR, and a large stock of high quality weapons!

Metal Lobster Day 141, 16:26

I will gladly lay down my life and clickan for you, God-Emperor Dio. With 5.54 strength and weapons forged of the finest Paki sand the Swedes shall quake in terror.

Grawflemaul Day 141, 16:33

I will follow you with my 5.53 strength. I will follow you into the depths of Sweden if you command it.

Kefka Day 141, 16:36

Sure, I\'ll join you

Kefka Day 141, 16:37

Sure, I\'ll join you

DERKA_DERKA Day 141, 16:41

Count me in, God-Emperor Dio!
- 5.36 Strength, 3 Sand Bazookas (Level 4)

Dapperus Day 141, 16:44

MY LORD, I BOAST A STRENGTH OF 5.57,THREE SAND BAZOOKAS NOT UNLIKE DERKA, AND A DEVOTION THAT RIVALS THAT OF ANY RELIGIOUS ZEALOT.
HOW MAY I SERVE

13yearoldgirl Day 141, 16:51

MY LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS, GLORIOUS DIO

Akagi Shigeru Day 141, 16:55

I REGRET THAT I HAVE BUT ONE LIFE TO GIVE TO YOU, GOD-EMPEROR DIO!

Azimuth Day 141, 16:58

As before your loyal Battle Medic with 5.56 strength is at your command.
Q4 weapon locked and loaded my profession PEACE!
GUIDE US TO GLORY GOD-EMPEROR!

Soren Mace Day 141, 17:03

My, more humble, 4.57 Strength is at your disposal my God-Emperor.

PAX PAKISTAN

For Glory,

FOR PRIDE

FOR POWER

FOR PEACE!!!!!

For Dio, he who is Pakistan.

Shabazz Day 141, 17:09

LORD DIO,

I AM GLAD THAT I DO NOT DIE WHEN I AM KILLED SO I MAY GIVE MY LIFE MULTIPLE TIMES FOR YOU!

Osama Abdullah Day 141, 17:25

I will die for Dio

Anonyherpes Day 141, 17:26

I pledge my body of 4.15 strength to the Great God Emperor, Dio.

Sephiroth Ali Day 141, 17:36

I have waited for this day and this duty from the day I was birthed onto the sandy streets of Islamabad. I have attained 5.5 food skill farming the fields of the Mothersand. I am ready to depart those blessed fields and use my 5.49 (5.5 upon the morrow) strength to take my quality 4 weapons to the fight for Peace.

O God-Emperor, please allow me to serve you as a Guard.

WeeYakk Day 141, 17:44

What the sand? My previous comment seems to have disappeared.

STRENGTH: 5.50
DOES THE GOD EMPORER REQUIRE MORE EXTERMINATUS?

Mitchell Day 141, 17:48

COUNT ME IN STRENGTH 5.30

Touka Day 141, 18:02

>5 Strength, Q4 weapon

I am ready to serve as one of Lord Dio\'s personal guard, please allow me the honor of spreading peace in the name of our glorious homeland!

Rimtlan Day 141, 18:15

5.58 Strength
I WILL PROTECT THE GOD-EMPEROR WITH MY LIFE AND MY 5.58 SKILL IN FOODMAKING

Benn Dover Day 141, 18:15

Good luck to you. I know how anticipated this is to all you Pakistanis. This certainly will be an entertaining war.

pokethatisslow Day 141, 18:22

Strength 5.59, but I could use some money for more guns.

Ivan Hat Day 141, 18:26

AOO!!

Strength 5.44

rageaholic Day 141, 18:29

My life for glorious Pakistan

Rehmat Ali Khan Day 141, 18:44

4.69 Strength. If by my life or death I can serve you, I will. You have my gun.

tozlink Day 141, 18:45

Harooh!
Harooh!
Harooh!

We are with you, sire! For Pakistan, for peace: to the death!

My 5.53 strength and cache of weapons are yours to command!

khite Day 141, 19:02

count me in, strength 5.54

Lumure Bright Day 141, 19:02

I\'m with you Dio.
4.81 strength

Ahme Aldib Day 141, 19:15

Time to do some peacemaking with our Q4 Weapons.
5.50 STR

Attack Wallaby Day 141, 19:26

MY 4.90 STRENGTH, 22 GUNS AND I PLEDGE EVEN MORE ETERNAL AND LOYALER LOYALTY TO YOU THAN I ALREADY HAVE!

Joseph Joestar Day 141, 20:13

I have grown strong building houses for the proud nation of pakistan and my fabulous arms will crush many double swedes in your name

WaseemK Day 141, 20:21

I am with you.

(hehe)

Coin Day 141, 20:33

PEACE IS OUR PROFESSION!

Romool II Day 141, 21:12

YES

scamiv Day 141, 21:15

THIS IS SPARTA!
5.34

Kamiyu Day 141, 21:23

MY STRENGHT MIGHT BE 4.81 BUT MY SPIRIT AND DEVOTION ARE OVER NINE THOUSAND! MY LIFE IS YOURS TO COMMAND, GOD EMPEROR!

...goddamnit I hate having to write things twice.