Tales of Congress, Part III: What were they thinking?! (capability implied.)

Day 1,440, 04:18 • Published in USA USA • by pure_evil
In Soviet USA, borders keep the army safe!

What, I can use an actual observation if I want to.


Short version: Everybody with at least half a brain sees that the tax plan is one of those things that hardly deserved an unanimous "Ja Ja Ja Ja" from Congress.

Except the listed Congressmen, that is.

Coincidence?


The following introduction label is completely not considered a necessary precaution based on any previous experiences. It's purely for cosmetic purposes and aims to improve readability. Results may vary.
[TODO: Discover a mechanism to mark sarcasm with BBCode and train own willpower by restraining from overusing said marking mechanism]

Introduction:

(Stands on the podium in front of the tribune)
- People of the United States, you've been lied to!

(occasional sounds of crickets - close the windows, darn it! - break the silence)

(voice from the last rows) - So... what else is new?

(wakes up)

Nope, that just ain't gonna cut it. Not with this crowd. Let's try a different approach...





Dear Comrades! The members of our Supreme Soviet in their infinite wisdom not long ago came up with a way to both complete the five-year plan in three weeks, and also keep our glorious Red Army supplied for any assault by capitalist forces!

Capitalist agents are spreading false rumors of such invasion already happening, but, by remaining alert and dismissing the propaganda - and reporting those that spread the lies to the KGBoUS - you shall do your part in keeping the United Soviet States of America as the true bastion of communism safe!

The plan itself is a brilliant masterpiece, a glorious booster of communism attached to our rocket of progress that's bringing us ever closer to our goals!

However, as it was meant for those of higher intelligence than you - the ones in the Supreme Soviet (still called by some dissident intelligentsia by it's capitalist name "Congress") - it requires a little explaining so that you, too, can understand the brilliance of Kemal Ergenekon and his dedicated team of USSA Economic Council's achievement that dwarfs anything capitalists can come up with!

Onward, comrades! To progress and beyond!
There, that should get their attention.

Those in charge (statement can be challenged at any point, feel free to do so) actually getting it right - bet you didn't expect to read such a pile of plain bulls*it, did ya.



The marking of the Actual Article is intended just to improve readability. Nobody in their right mind - and otherwise, such as myself - would consider the need for marking the actual article explicitly as such. See Introduction for more details.

Actual Article is below this label and below the green, downward pointing arrows, which indicate where the darn ACTUAL ARTICLE is!




Actual Article:

As we all know, being paid for working is something to be truly ashamed of. It should not be the norm for the workers to receive that ugly thing called cash for doing their duty. However, trade is still not considered something as disgusting.

Therefore, our leaders came up with a scheme to both discourage working for cash - why are you still not in a commune? - or, at least give you the incentive to cover your shame.

W A R N I N G: KRB Syndrome* sufferers steer clear of the next section!

Notable excerpts from the above-linked mastermind's explanation include:

"If you are an active player, and still paying Income Taxes [still receiving a salary. Fixed] *you are doing it wrong!*."

"The only players that are affected are the inactive “work-train-fight” people [which sadly is what a lot of US citizens qualify as], and the people who are too lazy to enter into salary donation contracts. "

"The commune members aren’t affected at all. (Most active soldiers in the game fall into this category)"

"You are not forced into go into the communes in any way, although you are free to do so." (from the comments - explaining the explanation is self-explanatory.)

Note to readers: Don't fall for going after the irrelevant parts of the above bullsh*t - "what number is considered to be most", "active vs inactive" etc. as it was done in the comments on the explanatory article itself and all over papers.


If you ignored the warning and got a KRBS attack, scroll quickly to the end of the article!

In other words - if you're receiving a salary fair and square, and in plain sight - you're punished by paying a whopping quarter of it to the state.

Not hiding taxes is a 100% valid indicator that you're not active and as such, a burden to society.
Therefore, you should pay for it.

A normal taxation policy BTW - polluting factories pay additional fees for polluting in RL, useless citizens pay additional taxes for being useless in-game.

One certainly supposes that if some workers are to be punished for misbehaving, others should be rewarded for behaving the proper way. The members of our communes are getting the cash, right?

Unfortunately, such a train of thought might make you a suitable Congress candidate, or indicate that you are suffering from - or, developing KRBS. Go seek medical assistance immediately!

On a side note:
If you think being deemed fit for Congress is a good thing, I've got bad news for you...

This is the certain part. So far, so good. The men behind the plan agreed up to here, and then all hell breaks loose in regards to the "why do we need the plan in the first place, anyway?!".



A crucial point to remember

Breaking News: Government can't spend all it has at any rate it chooses. The treasury can take 100 000 USD out daily (bear with me as we'll discuss the +100k loophole later on). It's the cap.




Congress' collective face. Yep, it's all about collective here in the good ol' USS of A.
Well, the first delusion I ask you to force on yourself, is the absurd notion that, dun-dun-duuun! - You can spend only what you can spend. Surprised? Shocked?

Good. If you manage to finish reading, you'll be well on your way to recovery from any mild form of KRBS.

Punchline (so far): As we're spending what we are spending, we can't provide any more incentives to the right people as we can't spend any more.

So... sorry, communers, no cash goes to you at the expense of those bastards outside of the commune. But, you don't need cash, right?



And we can't fund the army** any better as well.

But... but... army do "boom-boom" and army need more cash for more "boom-boom" and we get that out of stupid private citizens by overtaxing them!

Sadly, my dear, even at an impossible (phew! Saved by... Admin, of all people?!) 100% taxes and a million USD daily revenue, the government can't spend more than the cap.

But... but...
Sorry, mister. No greater "boom-boom" for us.

Oh, and another thing? "boom-boom" done by the army is capped from above, but not from below.

It can go down when we need it most - when loosing states.

Here, have one.







A-ha! But we're overtaxing to build a RESERVE! Muhahahahaha! You failed in one sentence!

Reserve-shmeserve! Go in a decontamination chamber, doctors recommend it as a last-ditch resort in case of severe KRBS!



There, now that we're free of those pesky Congressmen (albeit, let me tell ya - you can't keep yourself from developing a slight fondness for them), we can continue.

A reserve implies a lot of things. One is the ability to spend as much as you like, even blow it all at once - on booze in that one special night, when it counted.

And that's what we're gonna do! We're gonna blow half a million on one single battle, overturn the war, conquer the world, and get the best babes communism has to offer!

What are you, a Congressman in disguise? Retarded, at least? Nurse, we have a case of severe KRBS here!

We can't spend more than the cap! Sheesh.

Though, desiring more communist babes is something I admit. Guilty as charged...




To be continued...

And keep that KRBS at bay, please. I gave you babes, you know what to do to mitigate your condition, right?
* KRBS, or as the medically accepted KRWS ("Kemal Raging Wood Syndrome"), is a condition exhibited by most Congressmen, and sadly, some of the population.
It has a beneficial effect - after reading something written by Kemal Ergenekon, our Congressman has the benefit of his RL GF support on spending more time on eRep, as it's a win for her.
Unfortunately, that also includes cutting vital oxygen supply to the brain which generally leads to one,some, or all of the following additional symptoms:
a.) inability to think straight,
b.) inability to think at all,
c.) foaming at the mouth if Kemal Ergenekon is questioned (lest he ceases writing at all and a certain GF gets mad),
d.) reaching ludicrous conclusions,
e.) ignoring obvious flaws,
f.) drooling in front of the screen.

** I use the terms "army", "military" etc. as general substitutes for "mix of militias on govt life support, erm, funding". It's easier on the fingers and eyes.