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Same Old People, Same Old Results

Day 2,020, 12:20 Published in USA USA by Jakov Mikhailovich

Oh, shit, it really was eMerica the whole time.

Since I rejoined this game for the third time, and became active for the first time, I have heard nothing but constant grumbling about how the game just isn’t any fun anymore. What a breath of fresh air for someone stepping into the new world for the first time! It’s as if a million voices cried out in disgust and were suddenly prolonged forever and all time. So, how do we shake things up in the game? What brilliant and dynamic changes do we make each month? We keep electing the same people over and over and over and over again. Holy weird metaphor, Batman: It’s like we’re on a demented carousel and every time we make a full rotation, we see our collective parents having sex through the window of a seedy motel beyond the carnival fence and we STAY ON THE CAROUSEL. Perverts. As new player, SHIELD agent, inscrutable mystic, and possible real life serial killer, Squantoo, always says (and lifted from a more credible source), “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result”. Last month, Tenshibo was the new blood candidate and ran against an establishment candidate. When he came to our Federalist board this month to campaign, Tenshibo brilliantly eviscerated the current establishment candidate that he didn’t have the name recognition to beat last month:

“The most differences would've came (sic) in the handling of the war versus Serbia. We're not prepared for this, but we could've been. Serbia's RWs, for instance, couldn't be opened yet (viewable here: as the 24-hour timer was still active on them. So, no drains there. Croatia had recently been re-wiped from Europe; if we took our time, and coordinated an effort to get them back on the map, and then have two NE's on them, coupled with RWs in key regions both of Serbia and TWO, our chances of winning both the initial battle and the campaign would have increased exponentially. Secondly, CoT was facing RWs and battles on several fronts, thus decreasing allied support from CoT. What Artela should've done, and what I would've done, was timed it so the RWs would drain Serbia, Croatia would be NE'd, and CoT would be able to focus on Aquitaine.

Also, just nitpicking here, but if you recall, we could have already owned Aquitaine, if not for Artela's RL getting in the way, preventing her from hitting the NE button earlier in the term. Stuff happens, and things come up, but this was an early mistake that wouldn't have occurred if I had won last month.”

Call me crazy, and I already know that hindsight is 20/20, but I don’t think we would have had the two Aquitaine debacles with Tenshibo last month. We backed the wrong pony. To Tenshibo’s credit, he learned his lesson. You can’t beat the establishment, but you can join them. His Cabinet list is a Who’s Who of stagnation. I’m not saying any of these people are BAD cabinet members, but they’re certainly the SAME cabinet members that have been running the show the entire time John Q. eMerican has been complaining about the boredom he’s experienced.

Cabinet roll call: Israel Stevens, Israel Stevens, Israel Stevens, Israel Stevens…

Why else did he change basically his entire cabinet from last month? Because we refuse to give dynamic, new players a shot. We let the establishment tell us what to do. People like Pfeiffer still call the shots even after he moves to e-TWO-K. Let’s look at the USWP question threads for the two candidates. See who gets grilled by Pfeiffer (why the hell is he even commenting, shouldn’t he be tanking for Serbia?) and other old-timers and who just gets glowing praises from Inwegen:,26403.30.html
^^ USWP questions for Paul,26410.30.html
^^ USWP “questions” for Tenshibo

It’s pretty clear to me that, for lack of an establishment candidate (Pfeiffer “predicted” Duncan Crowe would win this month, but a pre-primary Federalist election selected Paul Proteus over Dunks), the Powers That Be got a hold of Tenshibo. Call me a foil hatter if you want, maybe I am, but Duncan Crowe, who we still love, falls out of the picture and suddenly all these old players are sharing a Cab with Tenshibo.

BRACE YOURSELF! It’s going to be a mediocre riiiiiiide!

We look at my best friend, Paul Proteus, and his reasons for why he selected candidates. He selected young up-and-comers like SarahT0ga because he TRUSTS her. He selected me for Media Director because he thinks I write well. Merit. Character. Potential. Here’s the crazy part: You don’t even have to take Paul’s word for it. You can judge for yourself what kind of active, interesting player SarahT0ga is. You can read my own articles and see if you think I’d make good, interesting, entertaining press releases.

What does Tenshibo say in support of his Cabinet? He just lists all the positions they’ve already held. They deserve it because they’ve done it a million times before. Well, did they do a good job before? They must have because they’ve done it a million times before. How did they get elected in the first place? They must have deserved it. Unfortunately, that’s why Artela won and why the younger Tenshibo tore apart her mishandlings of the Serbian war. She knew she wouldn’t have to do a good job or try hard because she can get elected anytime she wants. She has the name recognition and the “credentials” to back up her next bid no matter how she actually performs.

The bulk of what I’ve said has been a complaint about the Cabinet selections and the status quo, so I’ll make one last point about this. The biggest beef I have with Tenshibo’s Cabinet is that he bothered to select a Secretary of Education. If we don’t want new members to take on responsibility no matter how much they’ve earned it, why are we bothering pretending that we want new members around? If we’re going to elect the same 20 guys and put them in the same positions every month, I say we abolish the office.

S.W.A.G. = Same Will Always Govern?

Enjoy the carousel, eUS.


Jakov Mikhailovich
Jakov Mikhailovich Day 2,020, 12:21

First for Paul Proteus.

Jose Antonio Rivero
Jose Antonio Rivero Day 2,022, 10:27

En primer lugar, este pais debe tener descuento en el voters club porque el periodismo da pena...

En segundo lugar sois unos putos sosos, aqui ni poles, ni podios ni mierdas 😕

En tercer lugar me han dicho que los serbios os van a dar el cambiazo, los serbios van a quitar la estatua de la libertad y van a poner el toro de osborne.

Greene12 Day 2,020, 12:21


crashthompson. Day 2,020, 12:21

Comment deleted

crashthompson. Day 2,020, 12:22


Petey Alazar
Petey Alazar Day 2,020, 12:23


Sle7en Day 2,020, 12:48


Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Day 2,020, 12:58

Inwegen hates me. I consider that a good charachter stamp of approval.

Bia Pandora
Bia Pandora Day 2,020, 12:59

And please keep writing. Regardless of the content your style is very enjoyable to me. Thank you.

Lonestar 2
Lonestar 2 Day 2,020, 13:30


Lord Nimrod
Lord Nimrod Day 2,020, 13:56

This .

Candor Day 2,020, 14:11

I kinda breezed through it.

Paul=the new guy/good guy/anti-establishment.

I've known Paul a bit for a couple of years anyways. He's a nice guy, polite and easy to chat with. An old friend of The NoS.

I don't think I've ever had the opportunity to chat with Tenshibo so I haven't any opinion there. Emerick is gonna be a side kick for Ten, which goes a long way in my book. And I see a Mazzy and an IS as well as a new name or two (to me), which is cool.

I don't have to read the eForum crews threads to be fairly certain Ten is THEIR pick. The eForum crew is p-much their own Political Party in reality nowadays.

But I'm not gonna hold that against Ten, not with IS and Em and Mazzy on board. That broadens the base too much to say his run is solely an eForum crowd pick.

On the flip side, Paul has to me always seemed a chill guy who can laugh without getting ornery. 10 points. PLUS we can't ignore his wide base of support with ld farts and newr folks alike. And I know him an like him.

I just getta sit back and stay out of this one frankly. It's NOT a clear choice in my mind all things considered, politically speaking.

Personally speaking, I suppose I'll drop the vote for the guy I consider a friend. But I do think this race is somewhat NOT as clear cut politically as you present, in my humble opinion.

Best of luck to both candidates.

Emerick Day 2,022, 06:10

Yeah, I think that most people feel that way. Jokav only wrote this because he's a company man, the kind of people Feds attract. I had a tough time deciding who to vote for, even after given a cabinet position. In the end, I voted for Ten because he's coming to NYC and we're going to get him drunk and then play around with his position.

Duncan Crowe
Duncan Crowe Day 2,020, 14:18

PP4CP, Jakov for SoM

Dibex Day 2,020, 14:33


fingerguns Day 2,020, 15:20


fingerguns Day 2,020, 15:21

I do like Tenshi though. He is cool guys. PPFTW.

Gnilraps Day 2,020, 17:39

You were one of my favorite choices in the excellent Proteus Cabinet.

Squantoo Day 2,020, 18:30

Eh. Eh. Who else noticed the shout out? YESSS! (I swear, i am not a raper >.>)

Christopher Edwards II
Christopher Edwards II Day 2,020, 18:34

Good read. Voted, subscribed and shouted.

Jakov Mikhailovich
Jakov Mikhailovich Day 2,020, 18:34


creitzell Day 2,020, 21:28

Good article. I v+s'ed. I do kind of agree with you that not enough newer players are getting cabinet positions.

I do want to rebut that Pfeiffer controls everything though. He does not. I've never understood the belief that he is in charge.

Gant tommy
Gant tommy Day 2,020, 23:23

I will vote for whoever promises to attack Belgrade.

Gant tommy
Gant tommy Day 2,020, 23:23

Related: I love your articles to death, write, write, write, these pieces of humor and content are what keep me logging on.

Air Keruh
Air Keruh Day 2,021, 02:07


theAbsynthius Day 2,021, 03:28


however, i think that at these times we should stick with the old guys... the sole reason being the fact that we are in danger by PTO.

Jakov Mikhailovich
Jakov Mikhailovich Day 2,021, 06:50

Yes, but selecting old members for CP last month is why our war with Serbia started off so poorly.

Devoid Day 2,021, 08:42

Voted hard.

Blacksheep Counselor
Blacksheep Counselor Day 2,021, 10:00


Artela Day 2,021, 10:01

I do love revisionist history - a large part of the reason we were so late with the first set of Aquitaine stuff was trying to agree things with an ally, a fact you seem to have missed from your article and a fact that would have hit *any* administration determined to cooperate with allies.

Call me crazy, but the fact that we're now actually doing quite well in recent battles *due in part to having treated that same ally so well in that first instance* is not a mere coincidence. There is *always* a larger picture. But I guess that doesn't play well into cheap political posturing : )

fingerguns Day 2,021, 18:54

Probably just difficult for people to speak on when nobody knows about it until after the fact.

Jakov Mikhailovich
Jakov Mikhailovich Day 2,021, 20:29

Ok, so Tenshibo is a short-sighted liar. Let's not elect him.

Jude Conners
Jude Conners Day 2,021, 10:19

More rah-rah Feds stuff in here.

I'd like to see more rah-rah USA stuff instead.

Aramec Day 2,021, 10:26

Working on it.

Emerick Day 2,022, 06:06

They'll support the country when they control it

Kaad Day 2,021, 11:50


Good article!

George Walker III
George Walker III Day 2,021, 16:54

That quote came from Albert Einstein, so yes a very credible quote. lol

Diggs Day 2,021, 22:43

I endorse this message!

Rainbow Slash
Rainbow Slash Day 2,022, 02:49


Boobies171717 Day 2,022, 07:51

Comment deleted

Mexicoo121 Day 2,022, 08:17

Comment deleted

Simulare Day 2,022, 10:44

eRep CP today, Taco Bell shift lead tomorrow!

Delyruin Day 2,022, 11:43

We get it, PP lost, Feds REALLYREALLY wanted him to win. I wanted him to win.

Now get over it and look to next month.

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