Repelgeusje / Rumpelgeuskin

Day 1,900, 09:14 • Published in Netherlands Poland • by PariahDog

Many will agree with the notion that our last president performed poorly. What many do not realize or want to realize is that to every government there is an opposing force. A force so vile that mere mention of its name sends shivers down the spines of innocent children. Be wary, for it sneaks up on you unnoticed. It offers guidance and support, but with it comes a price. A price many are not prepared to pay. That price is not your firstborn, as in the famous fairy tale Rumpelstiltskin, but your allegiance. If you are not prepared to give it, you will be faced with accusations and swift dagger punctures to your backside.

There is only one way to face such evil, and that is with openness. Just like the miller's daughter did to Rumpelstiltskin, I will now call this evil by its name. For may it stomp its vile foot so deep into the ground, the earth beneath it will crumble, and with a mighty roar swallow this useless cyst back into the twisted nether whence it came.

But first, a story. We have time, do we not? Have a seat, warm your feet at the fireplace and drench your thirst with ale.



'Twas not too long ago, my friends... No, in fact, 'twas only last week when my trusty friend and party mate Kamp Amersfoort was readily fulfilling his duties as the esteemed Minister of Defense. He is a peculiar fellow, in that he is devoted and willing to learn in any situation. Lacking experience, as many of us do, mistakes may occur. But by learning from mistakes, my dear friends, we improve. We gain experience, if you will, and with that experience our actions will only increase in effectiveness. Besides, any mistakes he may have made were negligible.

Unfortunately the great and vile evil was lurking below. Poor Kamp Amersfoort had no idea what awaited him, until the very moment he received a letter. A letter sent by them-whom-I-will-not-speak-of. With his hands trembling he opened the envelope and was greeted with what I shall refer to as pure ungratefulness. This pure ungratefulness, one of the many sins of evil, came in the form of a Motion of No Confidence.

Now this motion, my dear friends, comes with a history. As do many things, but I digress. When the Dutch People's Party was just a young fledgling in the mighty world of Dutch ePolitics, this vile evil already attempted to kidnap our metaphorical princess. They tried to snatch our members, nay our very children away from us. A despicable and cowardly act indeed. Luckily our children professed loyalty, bringing light to this backhanded behavior.

Alas, we were forgiving. We spoke to the intrepid leader of evil and promises were made. We would be assisted in learning the tricks of the trade. We were to become good politicians, they promised, and we did. But not thanks to them. To them, 'twas just another promise unfulfilled.

However, relations were set and our future was looking bright. We never mentioned their name in relation to this act, because we honor ourselves to be gentlemen. Now, however, I broke my cane, spit out my pipe, and put on my boxing gloves. They, however, expected to have won our allegiance. When the Dutch People's Party communally decided to back Kimberly instead of her opposition, the vile evil was angered. In fact, it was so angered it decided to do what it does best.

And now we are back to Kamp Amersfoort, motion of no confidence in hand. Before this motion could be accepted, however, our president fell. Not literally, mind you. That might've been funny, rather than dramatic. But again, I digress. She fell, and rightfully so, but not without issue. The next president in line had to decide whom to grant the illustrious position of Minister of Defense. Unfortunately it was not Kamp Amersfoort, for the new president claimed he was bribed. Bribed by Kimberly to vote her into presidency, receiving the minister title in return. Such vile accusations, without evidence!

Yes, my friends. You may have guessed, but I shall state it regardless. Our new president was the very unmajestic evil, the relentless and dark leader of them-whose-name-I-shall-not-mention (just yet. Hey, I need to create tension!). Agitated by his loss at the previous elections by our hands he had come for vengeance. Vengeance coated in cheap lies and excuses. He was mad for we had not chosen him, but his opponent. Had it been him we chose, we would have foregone these accusations (and perhaps be stabbed in the back at some later point in time).

Listen well, for this knowledge may serve you some day. If you do not play along with evil, it will turn its back on you. And only when you have turned your back to where you can no longer see it, it will stab you. It will stab you relentlessly and not let go. I, however, shall not bow to evil. I will fight it no matter how many knives are firmly lodged in or near my vertebrae, and call it by the name it wants none of us to hear.

Hear me, vile evil, I know thy name! For thou art Rumpelgeuskin, betrayer and representative of incompetence. May you sink into the ground as your predecessor, Rumpelstiltskin, did! And to you, my listener, I hope this story serves you well, so you may never fall for the trickery that Rumpelgeuskin and its leadership has in store for you.

They promise fun, but believe me.. their perception of fun is not what we are waiting for.

Be well.

~ Signed, PariahDog.