NOT The Speaker's Word

Day 3,184, 01:59 • Published in USA USA • by George Armstrong Custer
Welcome to NOT THE SPEAKER'S WOR😨 Not The Official Journal of the eUSA Congress.
Dateline: Monday, August 8 (Day 3184)
Location: Public Congressional Forum
Editor: Congressman George Armstrong Custer
Video: I wanna be sedated - The Clash

The Word of the Day:
: 1 : WTF is going on???
: 2 : Congressional Activity
: 3 : What Lies Ahead

Editor’s Note: While the 103rd Congress was markedly inactive due to game boredom, the 104th has taken a different cure-- constant and consistent shitposting. If you're interested in what the real Speakers Word is reporting, by all means do check it out.

I also need to complete the "25 Comments Mission."
~~ Custer   

What the f---ing f--- is going on in there?!
I understand the nature of Congress is to feast or famine-- either there's a lot of legitimate business to conduct, or none at all. And that when in a slow period, the bits of fun that normally intersperse regular posting becomes the primary activity. So it comes as no real surprise that when the country is running smoothly-- a credit to the Executive Branch-- we'll see the Legislative Branch going a bit wild with their special brand of fun... shitposting.

These past weeks, Congress has taken this "slow news time" activity to an all-time high-- or low, depending on your perspective-- with a record number of nonsensical Discussions, with a surprising number of those making it to Proposal and even Vote phase. The sheer volume of this shitposting is mind boggling, and even the most ardent of Congressional activity followers can lose track of it all.

Today I will attempt to collect the crazy threads into coherent groups of topic, provide links and a few key quotes, so we might all get a handle on the insanity which has taken over our body of elected legislators.



104th Congressional Activity

The 104th Congress Inherits an Embargo Discussion

This started off as a reasonable topic worthy of discussion. It could be argued that foreign imports hurt American producers. Or not. That's what Discussion threads are for.

Embargo Macedonia und Bulgaria
« on: July 22, 2016, 03:53:31 AM »
[Proposal] Embargo of Macedonia and Bulgaria
« on: July 24, 2016, 02:34:54 PM »
[VOTE] Embargo Macedonia and Bulgaria
Vote Passed.

« on: July 24, 2016, 08:49:39 PM »
Proposed by Yui MHCP001, 13 days ago
« President of USA proposes to stop the trade with Republic of Macedonia (FYROM)

It was noted that the above Discussion changed from "month to month" to "for 12 months" on its way to Proposal. The President set one month of Embargo against FYROM, but not Bulgaria. Then Congress got into it over the problem with setting 12 months of Embargoes, except in the special case of "f--- Canada."

[Discussion] Removal of 12 month Embargo on FYROM and Bulgaria
« on: July 26, 2016, 04:34:24 PM »
[Proposal] Remove FYROM / Bulgaria Embargo
« on: July 28, 2016, 08:52:46 AM »
[Vote] Removal of FYROM/BG Embargo
« on: July 28, 2016, 12:29:30 PM »
Vote Passed.

So Congress did reverse itself on a 12-month Embargo, and moved forward with trying it again with the clarification of "one month at a time."
Note that since the original Discussion thread was still open, it served to continue here instead of opening another new one.

[Proposal] Embargo of Macedonia and Bulgaria
« on: July 28, 2016, 04:55:01 PM »
[VOTE] Embargo of Macedonia and Bulgaria
« on: July 29, 2016, 10:27:35 AM »
Vote stopped, thread locked.

The Proposal got its 10 Approvals and moved to a Vote. Then it was decided that the Proposal wasn't phrased perfectly clearly, and was fixed/changed-- but during the Vote phase, thus invalidating the whole thing.
Start over. Again. Get it right.

[Discussion] Invalid Embargo Vote Needs a Do-Over
« on: July 30, 2016, 05:47:54 PM »
[Proposal] Embargo FYROM and Bulgaria (a do-over)
« on: July 30, 2016, 09:56:06 PM »
[Vote] Embargo FYROM and Bulgaria (a do-over)
« on: July 31, 2016, 11:26:36 PM »
Vote failed.

After a week and a half of heated discussion, four Votes and one in-game Proposal, the end result is a one-month Embargo against FYROM, with no plans to revisit the matter once it expires.

Bonus Shitpost: Franklin Stone posted this while the last of the Embargo Votes was in progress:

[Discussion] 99% Import Tax
« on: August 01, 2016, 05:17:55 AM »
« Reply #10 on: August 01, 2016, 09:19:15 AM »
"to cherry pick our enemies out of our markets is to use the Embargo.
a blanket high Import tax is too broad, would hurt more than just those we might want to get out of our markets."

Lacking support, the thread was closed.

Un-Blacklist Chickensguys

Stemming from an article and a Press Briefing, Oblige posted this troll threa😛
[Discussion] Removal of Chickensguys / Foxes from the Congressional Blacklist
« on: July 28, 2016, 01:09:09 PM »
Then-Speaker Pfeiffer took action right away, declaring "I'm locking this because it, and you, are stupid."

Gnilraps then started this counter-trolling threa😛
[Discussion]Censure for Any Congressman Endorsing Amnesty for Chickensguys
« on: July 28, 2016, 03:55:28 PM »
last post: « Reply #40 on: July 29, 2016, 01:17:12 PM »

Evry, ever the voice of reason and sensibility, poste😛
[Discussion] The Reason CG is on the no-no list
« on: July 28, 2016, 05:47:46 PM »

Chickensguys remains Blacklisted, that is, must not be granted US Citizenship (a Congressman granting same will be Censured, possibly Blacklisted). He is also permanently banned from the eUSForums, by its owner and Admins, for repeated serious violations of the rules.

Bonus Shitposts: An exercise in circular logic.

[Discussion] Impeachment of SoH for unjust locking of Chickensguys Thread
« on: July 28, 2016, 01:34:04 PM »
[Proposal] Impeachment of SoH
« on: July 30, 2016, 11:31:21 AM »

In another case of ambiguous phrasing (the Speaker in question was not named by name, only as "the SoH"), while then-Speaker Pfeiffer closed the original Chickenguys thread, by the time the Proposal was made the new Speaker Vote was in progress.
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2016, 02:49:29 PM »
"Requesting this be closed because a vote cannot be finished before the current Speaker is out of office." ~~Cromstar

The real fun was actually in the debate over whether the newly elected Speaker could moderate Impeach the Speaker threads-- that is, to close them both as pointless. Even though the Impeachment was intended for old-Speaker Pfeiffer, new-Speaker Aramec could not moderate, and it was finally determined that Oblige is the most senior Congressman, who would legally put a stop to this idiocy.
Except he doesn't have Mod powers. So he authorized Aramec to close the thread in his stead. Which still pissed people off.

Double-Bonus Shitpost: As long as we're working out that a current Speaker can't moderate an Impeachment thread about a former Speaker who's not even in office anymore (because the Law doesn't make such a distinction), and who's got Seniority and is legally designated to Mod that thread, and whether that Senior member should be allowed to authorize an action for which he does not have the actual powers to perform...

[Discussion] Mod powers for every Kongress member
« on: August 04, 2016, 03:10:16 AM »

Un-Blacklist Ajay Bruno

Another troll post from Gnilraps, in which Congress trolls itself and actually takes it through to a Vote.

[Discussion] Lifting the blacklist of Ajay Bruno
« on: July 28, 2016, 04:16:13 PM »
[Proposal] Lifting the blacklist of Ajay Bruno
« on: July 31, 2016, 09:08:05 PM »
[Vote] Lifting the Blacklist of Ajay Bruno. AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
« on: August 02, 2016, 07:10:55 AM »
Vote failed.

Censure Oblige

Whereas:
• Oblige has admitted to use the congressional laws to derail congress from serious discussions
• Oblige has knowingly and willingly shown support for a known enemy of the state - one who helped Ajay Bruno bring in large numbers of Serbs to destroy the country.
• Oblige is a f----t

[Discussion]Censure Oblige
« on: July 28, 2016, 04:37:55 PM »
[Proposal] Censure Oblige
« on: July 30, 2016, 04:28:31 PM »
[Vote] Censure Oblige
« on: July 31, 2016, 01:09:57 PM »
Vote failed.

Bonus Shitpost: A midstream moment of insanity within insanity.
[Discussion] Actually Murder Oblige
« on: August 01, 2016, 05:10:03 PM »

In apparent anger toward those who supported the above Censure movement, Oblige removed access of key Defense personnel to the @orders bot, which he designed and had provided to the government to aid in disseminating fight orders via IRC.
This was seen as political manipulation at best, or at worst putting the nation at risk.

[Discussion] Censure Oblige version 2.0 *Now with blackmail & manipulation!*
« on: August 01, 2016, 01:36:09 PM »
[Proposal] Censure Oblige
« on: August 03, 2016, 10:17:19 AM »
[Vote] Censure Oblige
« on: August 03, 2016, 11:48:35 AM »
Vote failed.

The @orders bot has been replaced by one built by Orik, and is in use-- no strings attached.

Defund the USAF

Now, this one is not so much a shitpost from the start so much as it becomes one as the Discussion wears on.

[Discussion] Defund the USAF
« on: August 01, 2016, 08:24:51 PM »
[Proposal] Defund the USAF
« on: August 03, 2016, 08:11:09 AM »
[Vote] Defund the USAF
« on: August 03, 2016, 12:09:07 PM »
Vote Passed.

What bothers me most about this is that even before the funding had been halted, the Discussion went into what to do with those unspent funds. Then, into dissolving the unit, and disbursement of its assets.
First of all, deciding what to do with the unspent funds is another topic-- a new Discussion-Proposal cycle. Second, the unit itself belongs to the Executive, not Congress, and now having cut its ties has no say over what is to become of the USAF.
While painful, though justified, to see the national military unit lose taxpayer funding, it was more disturbing to witness the ill manners and poor deportment of elected officials during this process.

End the Dictatorship

[Discussion] Abolish the DICKTATORSHIP
« on: August 06, 2016, 01:08:52 PM »
Locke😛 "if you wanna try this again as a more serious proposal, yaboi, then you can feel free to do so. But as this thread has rapidly devolved into pointless shitposting, Imma close it."

[Discussion] Abolish the dictatorship
« on: August 06, 2016, 07:05:50 PM »
The junior member is being educated on the purpose of the CP/D. Thread is still open.

[Discussion] Censure yaboidmoney
« on: August 06, 2016, 07:36:48 PM »
Because above. This thread is still open.


What's Next?

I did not include the August Budget (D/P/V), Tyler Bubblar's Air commune thread or the Speaker election, because those are the three actual points of business which were conducted with rare ethical decorum. I did not include Franklin Stone's recent request for an understanding of the SCI, because it's just another wild throw from left field, no big deal.



But even as the great deluge of shitposts and frivolous Proposals appears to be dying down, I have every faith that this esteemed body will find something new.. or something old.. or something totally imaginary.. with which to fill the official record like so much hot steaming manure. 


The Legislative Branch and Public Congressional Proceedings are where Congress conducts almost all its business, and are there for you to follow our Discussions and Votes.

Please promote this edition of Custer's Stand by using this Shout

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