My Love Letter

Day 3,740, 18:53 • Published in USA USA • by Yui MHCP001

Dear Depression,

You have to admit, we’ve spent a lot of time together over the past two years. Perhaps… too much time, time that would’ve been better spent elsewhere, on being happy. But I can’t seem to help myself. Whenever you’re around, you get all my attention. I dive into you, like you’re a deep lake whose bottom I can’t help but to reach for. You’re cold. Suffocating, at times. I’ve gotten used to your pressure since it’s been there for a long time, and you definitely don’t treat me as bad as you do some others, so I guess I could say I’m lucky. But it just feels like...it feels like Stockholm Syndrome, my arms open for your deathly embrace.


But you’re not all bad, I suppose. You have your redeeming qualities. You showed me my resilience everytime you tried to bring me down. You showed me my strength when I picked up cigarettes again because of you, but stopped after 4. You showed me my intelligence when I told my parents about you the day I was set to commit suicide. You showed me my ambition when you helped me realize I wasn’t going to be happy with my major and where I lived. You showed my healthy vulnerability when I told my friends what you were putting me through.

Everytime you beat me down, I came out of it stronger. You are something I have accepted that I need from time to time.

That being said, we can’t be together forever. I hope for a day we can happily be apart, where I don’t need you to become a stronger person.

And I think that day is drawing near.

That’s why I decided to write this to you. If I didn’t do it now, I would never be able to do it.

I love you, Depression.

I can’t wait until you’re gone forever.