Prof. J Moriarty
There has been much hee-hawing on the eUK forums (Yes, IT EXISTS) over the recent attack of Norway by BigAnt, supposedly under the reason that the sell-by date was almost about to expire on all those bombs or missiles or whatever fancy doo-dahs they were.
But in a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed by this very newspaper, that is right, this one you are reading, that the attack was all a diversion so that BigAnt's party's MU, the Royal Navy, could sneak in and capture eighties pop band and jam enthusiasts A-Ha.
Artists impression of lead singer, Morten Harket, believed to be on the USS Griffin.
Why, you may ask, would we needlessly invade a country only to steal a pop band who have not been popular since the late eighties? Well, we have that very reason right here. For BigAnt is hoping for a third consecutive term in office, and for this he needs a catchy song that will win him the support of the masses. Perhaps like Take on Me?
Wrong A-Ha, you fool!
In what was called the biggest under-cover military operation since the overthrowing of the Chav Imposter Jamesw, an unnamed UKPP general led a covert attack on the villa where the band were practising for an upcoming album. Silently killing the guards, the army then proceeded to snatch the group and their instruments, and throw them on a helicopter straight back to the carrier lying in wait in the Baltic Sea.
President of Canada reacts to news of A-Ha invasion
However, this drastic move has angered members of EDEN, particularly Canada, with whom A-Ha was meant to perform at the next meeting of EDEN representatives. Canada have launched an attack on British soil in an attempt to regain their Norwegian heroes, and France are also reported to be angered by the capture.
Personally, us at Scandalous applaud the efforts of UKPP to bring A-Ha tou our fair nation, but was this really the way to do it?
Wasn't their another way?
If so, what?
Isn't A-Ha's Take on Me one of the greatest songs of all time?
Do I put paper in the brown or blue bin?
As usual, answer in the comments below.
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