Dioism: A Definitive Guide for the True Believer [Part One]

Day 1,706, 11:50 Published in USA USA by Bacon Empire
Dioism: A guide for the true believer
Part One: A journey into the Ethics and Conduct of a Dioist


The Book of Dio

The Book of Dio is the holy text of the religion of Dioism, the state religion of the Holy Empire of Pakistan. It is the official chronicle of the adventures of Dio Brando. The compilation of stories and wisdom was written over the period of a month by Pakistani monks Altnabla and William Walker, with contributions from many other Pakistani. The Book covers various topics, from great wars to formed alliances to Falcon's enlightenment.

The Book is the basis for all learning in Pakistan and is studied by schoolchildren and Literature majors alike at the Falcon University of Creative Knowledge. It's believed that behind the passages in this book, there is an even deeper truth, one which would require a mind of the greatest caliber to discover and comprehend. All Pakistani are expected to be able to recite the book by verbatim upon completion of secondary school.
~The Book of Dio eRep Wiki


The first step on your journey into enlightenment is reading and excepting The Book. The decision to take Dio into your life is not an easy one to make, and should not be taken lightly. Dio Brando, our lord and savior, is to be treated with the utmost recpect, and it is your duty as a devout worshipper of Our Lord to smite all those that go against his will.


Instructions for reading The Book

The Book of Dio requires a special etiquette and procedure to adhere by when being read and stored. Your copy of the The Book should be treated as your single most precious belongings.

The most important step to take when reading The Book is how you choose to open it. It is also the easiest way to seperate the neophyte from the experienced practitioner. The Book may be placed on any surface that the practitioner sees fit as long as it has not been touched by the feces of the Swedish or the snow of the Unspoken One. The Book should be lifted level to the table on which it is to rest with the left hand placed on the cover and the right placed on the back acting as a solid base. You should then rotate the book 90° and slowly place it on the table so that only the spine is touching the surface. Slowly open The Book and balance it so that, without touching the pages, it falls open to the first page. This is the only correct method of opening The Book and any other method you choose to use will only result in your own misfortune.

Now that you have properly opened The Book You must perfect your reading proceadure. Quickly go to the nearest watering hole and wash your hands. Upon returning you may turn the page and absorb its contents. You must repeat this process after reading each page and before turning too the next. This should be repeated until the end of The Book. You have now finished The Book. Now you will be in Dio's favor, and you will profit greatly from this. You will see all of your greatest dreams come true. You may now claim your rightful place at the Table of Dio.

There is not a definitive method of storage. As long as your copy of The Book is safe from any possible water damage and protected from the enemies of our great religion you should be okay.

Dioism is a lifestyle. This concept will be explored in part two of this series.



Coming Soon:
Dioism: A Definitive Guide for the True Believer [Part Two]
A Journey into the Lifestyle of a Dioist

Dioism: A Definitive Guide for the True Believer [Part Three]
The Story of the Capitalist, and the Swede.

Dio Be with you.