Congress Critter Cash and other Bastard Victories

Day 1,588, 09:05 Published in USA USA by Slade Cash


YOU did it. All of you who worked to set this up and voted for me, I can't thank you enough. I made it!

Even more incredibly, the Bastards got THREE representatives elected to Congress: Chance Harrison in North Dakota, Deriachai in Missouri, and me in Baja.

Unfortunately our party founder, Joseph Dinero, fell short in Aquitaine, only narrowly losing one of the most heated contests of the night against long odds and some of his competitors openly purchasing votes throughout the day. We also lost a close one in my second home of Montana, where a late AMP push allowed Chucky Norris to edge out Sgt. York by just one vote.

Below is the full report from our Party President, Emperor Rick:




Election Results


Good news from the polls! We elected 3 congressmen to our ranks, congratulate Slade, Chance, and Deriachai!

Big thanks to our mobile voters, you really impressed the hell out of me. Especially in the last 10 minutes of the election on getting Slade elected. AMP struggled to get their last few votes for Kirras but we won anyway.

Victory in Baja California
SLADE CASH 14 Vote
AMP - Kirras 12 Votes

Victory in North Dakota
CHANCE HARRISON 11 Votes
AMP - Jack mensley 2 Votes
Weed - EmperorZahradkaII 2 Votes

Victory in Missouri
DERIACHAI 10 Votes
Fed - Fluffydoorman 5 Votes

Unfortunately we could not pull a victory in all our campaigns. York lost by a single vote, we had the numbers to get him in but we were too focused on Slade and the AMP pulled their last few mobile voters in to squeak a victory against us.

We lost Rhode Island early in the day when the USWP put in 10 votes before Noon. We didn't have any non bastard support here and knew our mobile voters would be needed elsewhere.

JD ran a close fight against Bramzioul until the last 10 minutes of the election when USWP mobile voters brought his votes from 35 to 41. JD didn't have much of a chance to begin with, it was discovered that his opponents in this state resorted to bribes to buy votes. However they failed to elect Fluffer in Florida... I like to think that we forced them to pull so many of their resources (voters) away from Florida to get Bramziou in. That in itself is a victory.

Defeat in Aquitaine
JOSEPH DINERO 36 Votes
USWP - Bramzioul 41 Votes

Defeat in Montana
SGT. YORK 10 Votes
AMP - Chucky Norris 11 Votes

Defeat in Rhode Island
DARK HELMET Official 0 Votes
JOHNNY CACHE Blocker 1 Votes
USWP - Little Benny 11 Votes

Over all we pulled 81 votes for our candidates
Expanded our political presence from 1 congressmen to 3.