All Hail the Immortal Rhino King!

Day 3,246, 02:40 • Published in Canada Canada • by Sebastian Somar

While I laid in my bed last night sleeping I was awakened by a loud noise. I arose to find my room filled with a bright light and a massive figure of a giant rhino almost entirely filled my room. The figure spoke unto me saying, "Sebastian! I am your Creator and the Creator of all that exists, has existed, and will exist. My followers among my beloved rhino race call me the Immortal Rhino King. Because of your love of rhinos and your sense of humor I have brought you back from the grave to bring a message to mankind. What I am about to tell you was once well known but my creation has rebelled and forgotten my ways." He proceeded to tell me that I was once a great warrior-priest and that I was made to forget all that I had once known to protect me. It was at this point when the figure started speaking through me, and this is what He sai😛

Be it known to all mankind that I Sebastian "The Rhino" Somar, having been resurrected by the Immortal Rhino King to send you this message, do hereby proclaim to you The Good News. There is no God but the Immortal Rhino King, and Sebastian Somar is his slave, messenger, and representative on Earth! By the authority given to me by the Immortal Rhino King I do hereby reestablish the lost and ancient Order of the Rhino.


Doctrine of The Order of the Rhino (The Ten Statements)
1. We believe in one creator, the Immortal Rhino King(IRK)
2. We believe IRK resurrected Sebastian Somar to bring us this message and appointed him as His representative on Earth to the humans.
3. We believe that IRK created the Earth in 3 days.
a. Day 1: IRK created earth, water, and the skies and fashioning them to His liking.
b. Day 2: IRK created the rhino race out of mud and appointed them the keepers of Earth.
c. Day 3: IRK created the lower lifeforms out of the dung of the first rhino.
4. The rhinos ruled over the Earth for a period of 3 millenia until the lower lifeforms grew jealous of IRK's love and favor for the rhinos and rebelled killing off almost all rhinos.
5. Following the rebellion of the lower lifeforms and the near extinction of IRK's beloved rhino race IRK created mankind also out of mud and appointed them the new protectors of all of his creation.
6. IRK created Sebastian Somar out of the horn of the first rhino and the rib of the first man, thus combining IRK's two beloved creations into one being and making him worthy of being IRK's representative to mankind.
7. Mankind, lead by Sebastian Somar, saved the rhinos and restored order to Earth. Sebastian ruled over Earth for 2 1/2 millenia and then went into Occultation to be revealed again to the world at a later date.
8. Over time mankind forgot their history and much knowledge was lost. Mankind grew very greedy and started to mistreat and misuse the Earth and IRK's creations. The rhino's were not safe from mankind's greed and were almost wiped out by their one time protectors.
9. IRK sent many messengers to mankind to try to save the rhinos, but they were not allowed to reveal to the world that they were sent by IRK. They were only to say that they were "conservationists" trying to protect the Earth and it's creatures from extinction. IRK did not yet feel like mankind was ready or worthy of knowing their true history.
10. Upon his return to Earth in 2009CE, IRK clouded Sebastian's memory. Sebastian did not know of his greatness or history on Earth until after his resurrection in 2016CE, but even before his death IRK was working through him, bringing laughter to many through the jokes he told and sharing his love of rhinos with others.

Commandments of The Order of the Rhino (The Six Commandments)
1. IRK is the one and only true god.
2. None other than IRK are worthy of worship.
3. Rhinos are to be regarded as the most holy of IRK's creations and should be protected. They are our mud brothers. To kill a rhino is a grave sin equal to that of killing another human being. Mankind's original purpose was to protect rhinos and all of IRK's creation and He is calling us back to this purpose.
4. In every period of 3 days the 2nd day shall be a Holy Day to commemorate the 3 day creation of Earth by IRK in general and specifically the creation of the rhino race on the 2nd Day.
5. You are to love the Immortal Rhino King and dedicate your life to these commandments.
6. Love your neighbor as IRK has loved you.

After bestowing upon me this great knowledge once lost to mankind the figure disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.