Overwhelming

Day 617, 22:00 • Published in Japan Denmark • by Oraizan

My god, wait I don't believe in god. MY BUDDHA, that was a lot of inbox spam.



After reading through 30+ messages, and even more comments all saying something similar to "You canceled your candidacy T_T" I have to say one thing. Or rather, I have one word to describe it all, overwhelming. Just when I lose hope for something I worked so very hard for, it jumps up and show's me why I loved it in the first place.

I have to admit, even Akki touched my heart. Seeing somebody like him so understanding and willing to apologize for it, for me, touching.

Whether I run again or not will be decided soon, but for now, thank you. Strangers who I just met, old friends who stay strong, I am really happy for your support.

Also, I would like to thank people for not bugging for too much detail. Although a lot went on and you are curious, I cannot talk bad about people. Thus, I am really glad to have that respect that many of you have given me, as to not poke your nose in too deep.



Continuously shocked by Japan, (no, REALLY)
Oraizan~



Nourishing Healthy Seeds.
Consciousness exists on two levels: as seeds and as manifestations of these seeds. Suppose we have a seed of anger in us. When conditions are favorable, that seed may manifest as a zone of energy called anger. It is burning, and it makes us suffer a lot. It is very difficult for us to be joyful at the moment the seed of anger manifests.

Every time a seed has an occasion to manifest itself, it produces new seeds of the same kind. If we are angry for five minutes, new seeds of anger are produced and deposited in the soil of our unconscious mind during those five minutes. That is why we have to be careful when selecting the kind of life we lead and the emotions we express. When I smile, the seeds of smiling have come up. As long as they manifest, new seeds of smiling and joy are planted. But if I don't practice smiling for a number of years, that seed will weaken, and I may not be able to smile anymore.

A few months ago, a little before my eRepublik life I had a childhood friend lose his life. It was an unnatural death, of course someone my age shouldn't die that easily. When that happened everybody felt very sorrow. The funeral home was full of tears, pain, true sorrow for the lost friend. Three different high-school's showed up to express their sympathies. I harbored seeds full of sorrow that day, seeds that probably live with me until this day. I was afraid of going up to the coffin and saying my good-bye to him. Instead of getting my closure, my last sentiment of my dear friend, I cowered and just cried in the back. I let my seeds grow into something ugly, that affects me from time to time.

We need to practice and not be afraid of confronting these feelings. Anger, sorrow, hate, happiness, it is all human and all something we can control. When people turn to stubborn actions and harsh words as a mean for escaping their problems, it hurts more then just yourself. It plants negative seeds in yourself, the people around you, and inevitably stuns the growth of all those people, and your country.