From the Office of the Vice President

Day 577, 19:07 • Published in Philippines Philippines • by Swagger McSwag

Dear People of the Philippines,

A day of uncertainty, July 25th, looms over the horizon. Will we be PTO'ed again or not?

I say, never again.

Threat of Political Takeover (PTO)

IndieKid, a once trusted member of the Filipino Progressive Movement (FPM), has seized the presidency of the oldest and largest party in the Philippines, the Philippines For the Filipinos Party (PFF).

Unlike the FPM, IndieKid has not publicly announced his plans nor his intentions for the party. We are therefore left no choice but to assume the worst: that we are under threat of yet another political takeover; that a group of people we do not know nor do we trust are intent on seizing the majority of congress and the presidency.

I implore all loyal and patriotic citizens of the Philippines to heed my warnings and participate in taking steps to prevent this from happening again.

All Legitimate PFF Candidates Transfer to the NFP

The Philippines For the Filipinos is dead. It is no longer for the Filipinos. It is not even controlled by a Filipino. We don't know what it's for anymore.

I have convened with former PFF president Prince Terence I and National Filipinista Party (NFP) president EZEX Lacroa, and both have agreed that it is in the best interests of the Filipino people for the NFP to temporarily house the original members of the PFF.

Therefore, with the express approval of both Prince Terence I and EZEX Lacroa, I hereby advise and authorize all bona fide members of the PFF, especially those who plan to run in the June 25 elections, to resign from the party and transfer to the National Filipinista Party, where EZEX Lacroa can guarantee that your congressional bid will be approved.

Should you choose to remain in the PFF, we warn you that your congressional bid might be rejected by IndieKid to make room for his own congress bets. So, please join the NFP while you still can.

If you have already filed your congress candidacy under the PFF, you can cancel it and file your candidacy again under the NFP.

Official Philippine Voter's Survey

Luzon Congress representative Mr. Dimagiba 2.0 has once again devised another voter's survey. Originally, this was designed to ensure that votes are evenly distributed among a party's congress candidates to ensure that that party seizes the majority of Congress.

However, Mr. Dimagiba's new survey is an official survey of the government. The PFF, the KMP and the NFP (formerly PFF) will be equally represented in the survey and vote distribution scheme to maintain the status quo.

I encourage all party presidents coordinate with Mr. Dimagiba to ensure that your candidates are equally represented in the survey and that all true and patriotic Filipinos will seize the majority of Congress seats come June 25. Please submit your complete list of candidates to him.

All concerned and loyal citizens, please register at Mr. Dimagiba's Official Philippine Voter's Survey, here: http://tinyurl.com/votingRegistration

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

Yours truly,

Ariel David Buena
Vice President of the Philippines