H. S. Dovewatch
Yesterday evening BroodroosterNL called a meeting with a few well known Indian citizens to talk about the recent boom in exportation of Kitten Stompers.
The CEO of 'Ambrosia Kitten Stompers', Mr. Ambrose Peacock was first on the invitation list. He is a older but attractive man, well known as a socialite and for the sudden deaths of six of his former wives.
Also on the list was Lieutenant David Forde-Mustard, He is a vetern of many vicious battles and may be slightly insane from frequent encounters with Romanian cultists; he was once a sharp and dashing man but has become slightly buffoon like and slow in his old age.
Mr. Srachit Scarlet (A young, handsome man known for his light fingered qualities), Prof. Robert Plum (the very model of an absent minded proffesor, but with a dark side and a great knowledge of poisons) and Revd. Blazed Green (A corrupt priest who uses his position as a cleric for personal gain, and is attempting to get into office in one of India's most important political positions) were also invited.
They seem like a very honest and simple party, but in the morning the house servant, Mr. Anjan White (a loyal but frazzeled man), found President BroodroosterNL dead on the floor of the library, and a dented lead pipe discaded next to his head.
Police searched the house and took all the people in the house to court, but unfourtunatly they created chaos as the guests all blamed each other. He is a brief description of the procedings:
- The President called the meeting because of the Kitten Stomper boom, and he stated during the meeting that it was giving India a bad name. Ambrose's company produces over half of India's Kitten Stompers and so stopping exports would be damaging to Ambrose's profits. Revd. Blazed shouted ferverently over the noise 'All this man (gesturing to Ambrose) wants is money, and so he killed our glorious president so he could keep on sqeezing as much profit out of his companies as he could!'.
Despite Revd. Blazed's radical way of putting in his opinion, the court cannot rule it out as a possibility.
- Mr. Ambrose, before the police could stop him, shouted back 'Oh yeah? Well I happen to know that you attempted to bribe the president into giving you the position of Prime Minister, and he refused because you're such a low down loser. You killed the President so either you or a more corruptable person could take over!'.
Again, not the conservitive way people object in court but it is still a valid suggestion.
-After this the Police managed to stop the shouting, but a tense battle of wits between the Proffesor and the Lieutenant followed. What was extracted from the cleverly devised insults and advanced vocabulary is that along time ago the government had quarentined Robert's dog because it carried a form of Bubonic plague, and Robert was deeply attached to his dog and therefore wanted to destroy the government because of what they did. Murdering the President tends to be a good way of disorganizing a government, so it is possible Robert commited the crime in order to 'settle a score' with the government.
Also, it seems that BroodroosterNL had not given the greenlight when David had asked for funding to drive Clanger loving extremists out of Northern Orissa. Combined with David's current mental state; This may be the lieutenant's motive if he murder BroodroosterNL.
- During a break in the procedings, Anjan approaced the judge and stated he believed that Mr. Scrahit killed the President. He said that Scrahit is a well known 'collector' of ancient Indian artifacts, and BroodroosterNL was in possesion of a stone mole from the Indus civilisation. While the president was being pored over by the police he could of grabbed the mole and have it safely in a private vault in Albania before anyone noticed. The only reason he didn't manage it was because the mole had been gifted to the Singaporeans as a sign of gratitude and is stored in a private vault in New Zealand.
When Anjan stood up in the witness box and presented his theory to the jury, Mr. Scrahit remained calm. When asked to speak he told the jury a new theory, and that was that Anjan had been a friend and collegue to the President and would likely be voted into office if the president died. Therefore, in Scrahit's theory, Anjan killed the president in order to reign sumpreme in an evil imperial legacy over India.
The court cannot figure out who commited this awful crime. You must help them find the murderer and save India!
A. V. Pujesh, Minister for Justice and Cluedo.
P.S. I wrote this only for a light hearted amusment and it is not based on what how I think any people I have mentioned would react in this situation or their personal flaws and backgrounds. Any opinions expressed are probably not my own. Look forward to hearing your sypnosis'....