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RO VERSION

Mare smecherie a fost mai zilele trecute. S-au intalnit Ai` Mai Mari din Atlantis si Peace sa isi discute si dispute sferele de influenta, sa-si imparta lumea cum ar veni. Initial era vorba sa se tina Reuniunea in Indonezia, da` ceilalti sefi de state au strambat din nas, ca-s prea multi morti-clonati pe acolo si miroase. Mai apoi s-a zis sa se tina in Ungaria, da` iar au strambat din nas, ca prea multe scutece mirositoare peste tot. In Romania nu le-a convenit, de frica lui Dracula si a Matzei. Americanii au zis ca gazduiesc reuniunea doar daca li se acorda titlul de Principala Putere, ceea ce evident nu au vrut ceilalti. Asa ca s-a convenit sa se intalneasca intr-o insulita autonoma de prin Pacific, pe-nserat asa.

Veni rikwandi al indonezenilor cu Barca Forta I si a acostat la chei. Veni si Algaroth al Suediei, din partea tarilor nordice cu un elicopter. Veni si Uncle Sam (nu era demis pe atunci) cu Air Force I. Veni si evighet al Spaniei. De la unguri se prezenta Quicksilver.A picat si dsalageanu cu Mig Force I al lui..ce-i al lui e al lui, a picat frumos, ca-n filme.. noroc ca avea parasuta.

S-a lasat seara peste exotica insulita, inaltii oaspeti s-au indreptat spre focul de tabara insotiti de body-guarzii lor. Valeu, ce bodyguarzi neamule. Gorile tata, marime doi pe doi, pumni cat capul de copil si cu mainile pan` la pamant, care donotau putere, supunere si inteligenta. Asta, suedezul, avea doua gorile d-astea puternice,Misho si Hador . Spaniolul era flancat de Durruti si XucoOo. Sefu` indonezian era flancat de trei, era mai cu motz, all-x, flik-kenni si n3mo. Da` cel mai bazat era dsalageanu, cat era el de mare nu se vedea intre RupeTot, Butnaru,titilica si zzZZzz. Uncle Sam nu avea la el decat un socotei cu gold. Iar Quicksilver impingea doua carucioare cu cate 4 bebelusi, pe care-i ocrotea mamoasa, mai ales ca RupeTot parea decis sa le rupa capul cu prima ocazie ivita.

Si s-au asezat in jurul focului. Presedintii taceau, dar bodyguarzii din spatele lor isi faceau semne: butnaru lu` all-x „pfai, daca te prind singur te rup”, all-x ii facea semne „hai mah mai in spate, hai, daca esti asa smecher”..flik-kenni ii facea semne lui Durruti „uite atat de mica o ai’, Durruti isi batea pumnii „vorbim noi dupa intalnire, mai vedem”.

In sfarsit, dupa un minut de tacere mormantala au inceput discutiile:

Rikwandi, dezgustat: Dupa faza cu Polonia, clar, Romania e cea mai naspa tara din lume

In momentul ala butnaru & Co au turbat, au sarit peste foc drept la gatu` lui all-x & Co. Spaniolii si suedezii s-au retras, Quicksilver si-a luat imediat bebelusii in brate si a fugit vreo 20 de metri. Curentii de aer provocati de pumnii batausilor erau prea periculosi pentru micuti, puteau raci, doamne fereste. S-au batut aia ce s-au batut, la` un moment dat a reusit dsalageanu sa-i desparta.

Dsalageanu: bai nene, am venit aici sa vorbim chestii serioase sau sa ne batem?

Quicksilver: da, da, am venit ca mi s-a spus ca ne dati regiunile inapoi.

Dsalageanu: ha?

Algaroth: dsalageanu, prietene..da-le ungurilor regiunile alea amarate, sa scapam de ei in
presa internationala, take-overs, etc.

Dsalageanu: nu dau nimic, sa le cucereasca daca le vor, sa ne atace.

Titilica si ceilalti s-au dezbracat sa li se vada muschii. Si bodyguarzii indonezieni la fel. Uncle Sam si-a mangaiat socoteiul cu gold. Quicksilver se uita disperata in jur si la un moment dat racni „ bebeluuuusi, prezentaatti stampilaaa de vot”. Dsalageanu s-a innegrit la fata, RupeTot isi facea mai abitir calcule cum sa ramana 2 secunde singur cu bebelusii aia.

Dsalageanu: am cheltuit prea mult pentru regiunile alea, ca sa le dam pur si simplu

Rikwandi: uite, indonezia iti plateste 1000 gold, numa` scapa-ne de unguri

Dsalageanu: ma jignesti

Evighet: frate, fii rezonabil..uite, si spania contribuie cu 1000 gold, numa` da-le ungurilor regiunile, sa nu-i mai vad in fata ochilor ca mi s-a acrit de ei.

Dsalageanu: onoarea Romaniei nu este de vanzare !

Algaroth: si suedia pune 1000 gold !

Dsalgeanu: pffff

Algaroth : iar america sunt sigur ca pune 7000 gold cu draga inima !

Dsalageanu: deal !

Uncle Sam si-a luat socoteiul de gold in brate si a inceput sa se retraga, transpirand speriat.

Uncle Sam: dar nu vreau, nu vreau..de ce eu, de ce noi sa platim? Ce, noi suntem mai fraieri?
Ce-o sa le spun americanilor mei? O sa ma impechuiasca, din cauza voastra, nu vreau, nu nu.

Rikwandi: ai sa dai, altfel in 2 saptamani iti cuceresc toata tara !

Uncle Sam era incoltit, Quicksilver isi mangaia pe cap bebelusii si ranjea, cand deodata cerul se transforma in sangeriu. Intr-un car de foc cobora eDumnezeu. A aterizat drept in mijlocul lor, cu laptop-ul legat la internet wirless sub brat.

eDumnezeu: ce faceti mah aici? Va impartiti lumea, da? Sunteti toti pedepsiti la osanda vesnica!

Dsalgeanu: iarta-ma, Doamne, uite, Romania se retrage pana maine la granitele originale, gratis !

eDumnezeu: nu ma intereseaza

rikwandi: si Indonezia va deveni cea mai pacifista tara din PEACE, va elibera sfertul de lume aflat sub stapanirea noastra!

Quicksilver: eu imi trimit bebelusii la culcare, sa nu mai faca prostioare cu stampilele de vot !

eDumnezeu: nu ma intereseaza, toti ardeti in cazanul cu zmoala !

Uncle Sam: americanii vor cumpara 5000 de Extra Storage in valoare de 3 euro fiecare !

eDumnezeu ranjeste, se gandeste, isi mangaie barba lunga si decide:

eDumnezeu: Uncle Sam traieste, restul ard in foc !

Tipete, vaiete, rugaminti, bebelusii urlau de foame, zzZZzz s-a trezit din somn moracanos.

eDumnezeu incepe si rade:

eDumnezeu: hai bah c-am glumit, ho, ma plictiseam. Imi cautam echipa de design grafic si cea de dezvoltare a conceptului de joc, nu stiti pe unde sunt? Ca nu dau de ei de doua luni, se ascund de furia mea divina.

Rasete, glume, fericire, s-au linistit toti.

UncleSam: America vrea ajutorul Atlantis sa cucereasca America de Sud, altfel parasim Alianta.

Toti in cor: la revedere

QuickSilver: Ungaria vrea sa-si extinda spatiul vital, are nevoie de teritoriile croate, poloneze, norvegiene si canadiene.

Dsalageanu: da` sa fie rasa de pe harta nu vrea Ungaria?

QuickSilver batzoasa : bebelusi, prezentati ștampila!!

Tacere. Bebelusii dormeau, sugandu-si un deget.

QuickSilver, isterica: bebeluuuusi, stampilaaaa.

Bebelusii nici n-au scancit.

QuickSilver timorata: Ungaria vrea sa-si micsoreze spatiul vital la o singura regiune,oricare,numa` sa fie macar una. Asta fiindca vrem sa aratam lumii ca suntem pacifisti.

Rikwandi: dsalagene, cum facem cu Asia? Cand o mai punem de-un razboi calumea?

Dsalageanu: nu mai am bah chef, mi s-a acrit de razboaie peste razboaie, si bigger pictures. Vreau sa ma retrag, ai si tu rabdare 5 zile pana la urmatoarele alegeri, si mai vezi atunci ce si cum.

S-au ridicat, si s-au indreptat care incotro..bebelusii pareau bolnaviori, erau rosii in obraji. RupeTot tot nu a avut ocazia mult-asteptata.UncleSam si-a pastrat sacu` cu gold.

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ENGLISH VERSION

These days the most powerful people in eWord met to discuss and dispute influences spheres, to share the world. Initially the meeting was to be held in Indonesia, but others refused because there are too many dead-clones, so it smells. Then it was about to be Hungary the place, but again, too many pampers of babies everywhere. Romania was not good, because everybody else feared Matza and Dracula. Americans said that they`ll host the reunion only if they are named officially The Biggest Power in the world. So it was decided the the meeting to be held on a small island in Pacific.

There arrived rikwandi of Indonesia with Boat Force I and accosted at the wharf. Also there came Algaroth of Sweden, with a helicopter. UncleSam of Americacame (the meeting was before his impeachment) with Air Force I. Evighet of Spain was there. Hungary was represented by QuickSilver. Dsalageanu dropped from the skies with his Mig Force I. What can I say, he plunged nicely, like in movies. Lucky him, he was equipped with a parachute.

The night had fallen over the islands when the guests headed toward the camp fire accompanied by their bodyguards. Wow, those were bodyguards ! Gorillas-type, sized 2 meters by 2 meters, fists big as a baby-head, long hands almost touching the ground, denoting power, obedience and intelligence. The Swedish President was flanked by Misho and Hador. Spanish by Durruti and XucoOo. Indonesian boss by all-x, flik-kenny and n3m0. The strongest was dsalageanu, protected by butnaru, RupeTot, Titilica and zzZZzz. UncleSam was only carrying a handbag full of gold. Quiksilver was pushing two prams with 4 babies each. She was really careful with them, because she noticed that RupeTot (BreakEverything) seemed decided to smash their heads with the first occasion.

And so they gathered around the fire.The Presidents were silence, but behind them bodyguards kept talking by signs, with hands gestures: butnaru to all-x “pff, if i`m putting my hand on you, i`ll smash you” , all-x to butnaru “yeah? Come over here if you`re so smart”.. flik-kenni was saying to durruti “that`s how small you have it”, durruti gesture was “i`ll see you after the meeting, we`ll talk our business then”

After one minute of silence..

Rikwandi, disguste😛 after Poland move, I can say for sure, Romania sucks.

In that moment butnaru & Co turned into mad men, jumped over the fire straight to all-x & Co. Spaniards retired few steps, so did Swedish. Quicksilver immediately took her babies and retired 20 meters. Air jets produced by fighting men were too dangerous for fragile little babies. Getting sick and catching a cold was a big possibility. Finally dsalageanu managed to break them.

Dsalageanu: bros, we gathered here to talk serious stuff or to fight?

Quicksilver: yeah, yeah, I was told that I`ll receive my Hungarian regions back.

Dsalageanu: hm?

Algaroth: dsalageanu, bro.. give Hungarians those damn regions, to get rid of them out of the international media.

Dsalageanu: i`m not giving anything, if they want them, then they should conquer them !

Titilica, Butnaru & Co took their t-shirts off, to expose their muscle. So did indos. UncleSam caressed his gold bag. Quicksilver looked around with desperation in her eyes and yelle😛 “babieees, present stamps!”. Dsalageanu turned black, RupeTot was hoping for two seconds alone with those babies.

Dsalageanu: we spent lots of gold with those regions, we can`t just give them back

Rikwandi: look, Indonesia pays 1000 gold, just free us from Hungarians presence!

Dsalageanu: you offend me

Evighet: bro, be reasonable…look, spain also gives 1000 gold, just give them those damn regions `cause i`m sick and tired of this Hungarians, everywhere !

Dsalageanu: sorry, Romania`s honor cannot be bought.

Algaroth: Sweden also pay 1000 gold !

Dsalageanu: pfff

Algaroth: and America pays 7000 gold

Dsalageanu: Deal !

UncleSam took his gold bag, and started to sweat, scared like hell

UncleSam: but I don`t want to, I don`t want..why me, why should we pay, we`re fools? What am I going to tell to my fellow Americans? They`re gonna impeach me, because of you, no, I don’t want, no, no!

Rikwandi: you`re gonna pay, otherwise in two weeks you`ll have no country left.

UncleSam was surrounded, quicksilver was kissing her babies gentle..Suddenly the skies turned bloody red, in chariot of fire eGod was falling. He landed in the middle of the small group.

eGod: whatta heck are you doing here? Sharing the world, ha? You`re all punished to eternal flames!

Dsalageanu: forgive me Lord, pls, look, I promise that by tomorrow this time Romania will have returned to its former original size.

eGod: I don`t care

rikwandi: Indonesia will become the most peaceful country of PEACE alliance,and will have liberated the conquered quarter of the world no later than tomorrow

Quicksilver: i`m sending my babies to sleep, they`ll no longer fool around with voting stamp

eGod: I don`t care, all of you shall perish in fire

UncleSam: Americans will buy 5000 Extra Storage packs, 3 euro each !

eGod shows a big grin, thinks for a couple of seconds and decides:

eGod: UncleSam lives, the rest of you to the lake of fire!

Screams, ululations, babies were crying for food, zzZZzz woke up snuffy. eGod starts to laugh:

eGod: c`mon, I was just kidding, relax. I`m searching for my Graphical Design and Game Concept Development Team, have you seen them? I can`t find them for months, they`re hiding for my divine fury.

Laughs, happiness, everybody relaxed

UncleSam: America demands Atlantis help to conquer South America, otherwise we leave the alliance

Everybody: Farewell

Quicksilver: Hungary demands a bigger vital space, we demand Croatians, Polish, Norwegians and Canadians territories.

Dsalageanu: how about hungary wiped out from the map, wouldn`t you like that?

Quicksilver, trustful: babies, present stamps !

Silence. Babies were sleeping, sucking their big toes.

Quicksilver, hysterical: babieeeesss, staaampsss !
Complete silence.

Quicksilver, scare😛 Hungary wants to shrinks its vital space to just one region, any one, we`re happy with just one. That`s because we want to show the world we`re peaceful.

Rikwandi: dsalageanu, how about Asia? When we`re going to have a cool battle again?

Dsalageanu: bro, i`m not in the mood. I`m sick and tired about all this battles. I want to retire, have patience another 5 days until election.


This is a pamphelte and should be addressed like that 🙂

If any of the characters feels insulted, PM, I`ll erase the article 🙂