Breaking News: Zanalan Is Not Real

Day 438, 16:37 Published in Canada Canada by Augustus Baldwin

Ottawa, Canada-- Anonymous sources within the government confirmed today that Prime Minister Zanalan is indeed a figment of everyone's imagination. Through a series of covert interviews with government ministers and CSD members, private investigators were able to determine that Prime Minister Zanalan had died several days after taking office and his continued existence has in fact been a fabrication by CSD Vice-President (now President) Dominik.

Suspicions had mounted over the existence of Zanalan after long stretches of inactivity, only broken when Dominik was approached and a message from the Prime Minister seemed to magically appear. Concern was heightened after several Congress members had reported seeing the ghost of Zanalan wandering the halls of the Parliament Building, eternally seeking his dead body, which Acting Prime Minister Dominik had apparently fashioned into some kind of lifelike puppet suit.

When approached for comment Dominik insisted that we should "look right behind us, because Zanalan is there right now", only to lament that we had "just missed him" when we did indeed turn around and found nothing.

Constitutional scholars were unable to find a precedent concerning the legality of a supernatural Prime Minister, or as to whether Dominik's Zanalan suit did in fact constitute the abuse of a corpse.
Government officials have called the Ghost Busters, who are expected to eliminate the Zanalan-ghost infestation from the Parliament Building by the end of the week.

Coming Up Next: Reporters Discover That Derakor Is In Fact Two Monkeys in a Trench Coat, and Why He Plans To Steal All Canada's Bananas If Elected.

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